The Rant Box

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Comments

  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    I feel young :#
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    What the hell is happening on sky news ? The news readers are getting up
    And walking about offices, reading from tablets etc !
    What's wrong with sitting behind a desk and reading the flipping news. X-(
    ( That's why I mainly watch the BBC :) )
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    I just make up the News in my Head 'We warned Tate And Kyle that if they do not remove there Sugar from Splenda, then a State of War would exist between our two Brands. I regret to inform you that no such Undertaking has happened, and now our Country is at War with Sugar'
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • minigeffminigeff EnglandPosts: 7,884MI6 Agent
    I just make up the News in my Head 'We warned Tate And Kyle that if they do not remove there Sugar from Splenda, then a State of War would exist between our two Brands. I regret to inform you that no such Undertaking has happened, and now our Country is at War with Sugar'

    Honey thats so sweet! Tell it how it is though, no need to sugar coat it, otherwise you'll get the cane.
    'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
    Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
    www.helpforheroes.org.uk
    www.cancerresearchuk.org
  • always shakenalways shaken LondonPosts: 6,287MI6 Agent
    some one who has a great desire to be buried in a deep hole in Thetford forest ,is trying to clone my ID
    for credit card purposes ,but having tried to contact various banks ect to explain its not me applying,
    ive come to the conclusion that the whole banking system is run by morons and deserve to be taken for every penny they have, ive been on their 24 hot lines only to be told they are shut at 4-30pm ,or they do not know the telephone number for their own fraud dept ,ive even been put through to the USA much to the lady over theres bemusement, I cant get onto EXPERIAN as their system dosent recognise information sent to them by google
    and any how ,they are not in work until next Monday,when I do finaly get to speak to somebody im asked for my account number (wich I don't have as I obviously don't have a ******* account with them,) sorry but did you just totally disregard me telling you that someone is trying to fraudulently open up an account in my name?
    I suppose in tomorrows paper I have to read that XYZ bank has lost £150,000,000 ,well no wonder you employ
    utter morons X-(
    By the way, did I tell you, I was "Mad"?
  • Sir MilesSir Miles The Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 26,558Chief of Staff
    It's bad news when someone tries to clone your bank details - it could take years to sort it out ! I hope you get the problem fixed before it begins - then sort out the w*****s with a baseball bat X-(
    YNWA 97
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    +1 Hope you get it sorted. It is a pain. :#
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • always shakenalways shaken LondonPosts: 6,287MI6 Agent
    not as painfull when I attaché electrodes to his cobblers :v
    By the way, did I tell you, I was "Mad"?
  • Silhouette ManSilhouette Man The last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,689MI6 Agent
    People blocking roads with TOC utility barriers! X-( Not only is it illegal to block a highway but it's dangerous too!
    "The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
  • minigeffminigeff EnglandPosts: 7,884MI6 Agent
    Photocopiers.

    I hate photocopiers. Actually, no, that's not fair. I hate the person who designed the firmware for HP photocopiers. This 'person' must be some kind of barsted who takes great pleasure in knowing he or she causes anger, frustration and confuselment countless time ever day.

    Ok, so what's the big deal? Well, I'll tells ya.

    At work today I had to scan in about 15 images on the photobastard. So, I log in, select the scan feature and set about setting it up. In today's ethnic peace bicycle peddling humus chewing world, EVERYTHING must be set to the watered down, half strength, weak, feeble, half fat, lo cal, reduced salt tree huggy option.

    Black and white? No, I want colour. Low res? No, I need high res. PDF? Uh-uh, JPEG please. Low quality? NO DAMN IT, HIGH!!!!

    If I was performing sacrilege and actually daring to put the image, god forbid, on PAPER, I could half understand. But when I'm scanning something? Does colour imagery take more power to poop down the electronic bog to my cesspit of a PC?

    Anyway, so after setting it up as if I'm preparing the enterprise to leave space dock, I then turn around and decide which image goes first. I then turn back to the photobastard to find it's decided to log out, erasing all the settings and defaulting to back to Brian Cox mode.

    You utter, utter barsted. A repeat of 'Flight sim: Photobastard' gets me back to square one, and 15 scanned images later I get back to my sh1tbox PC only to find all the images have scanned at A4, not A3.

    So, whoever you are, Mr or Mrs Lesley Eco-Green of HP research and twattingly annoying firmware development, I hope you walk out of work this evening and a bird sh1ts on your head.

    Have nice day.

    MG
    'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
    Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
    www.helpforheroes.org.uk
    www.cancerresearchuk.org
  • The Domino EffectThe Domino Effect Posts: 3,631MI6 Agent
    You thrashed the machine with a large, leafy twig, didn't you MG?
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    " I've warned you, time and time again !" :))
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,618MI6 Agent
    I've heard that particularly in the UK ( not joking) photocopiers often are repaired because people sitting butt - naked on the glass and trying to make a copy.

    The glass often is not that strong how these geniusses soon find out :D
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • Lady RoseLady Rose London,UKPosts: 2,667MI6 Agent
    Higgins wrote:
    I've heard that particularly in the UK ( not joking) photocopiers often are repaired because people sitting butt - naked on the glass and trying to make a copy.

    The glass often is not that strong how these geniusses soon find out :D

    That's probably accurate to be fair ...
  • Silhouette ManSilhouette Man The last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,689MI6 Agent
    You thrashed the machine with a large, leafy twig, didn't you MG?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78b67l_yxUc

    :))
    "The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
  • minigeffminigeff EnglandPosts: 7,884MI6 Agent
    No that treatment is strictly reserved for Johnny and the Mrs.
    'Force feeding AJB humour and banter since 2009'
    Vive le droit à la libre expression! Je suis Charlie!
    www.helpforheroes.org.uk
    www.cancerresearchuk.org
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    Stop being cheeky ... :))
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    Bloody litter louts. X-(
    http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/highlands-glen-that-featured-in-skyfall-starring-daniel-craig-is-being-ruined-by-wild-campers-say-residents-9615896.html

    Highlands glen that featured in 'Skyfall' starring Daniel Craig is being 'ruined' by wild campers, say residents
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • always shakenalways shaken LondonPosts: 6,287MI6 Agent
    just had to write
    was watching the elephant man ,and in the scene where Sir John (Carr-Gomm ) is talking to Sir Anthony (Treeves)
    Geilgud is about to go into full flight on his perception of the condition of the elephant man (John Hurt) now the English language in the hands of Geilgud in his performance is a magic to behold ,then the idiots in charge of the TV channel,, cut him off in his most encapsulating moment to put on a advert for bloody lavatory cleaner ,have they gone stark starring mad, X-( X-( X-( X-( X-(
    By the way, did I tell you, I was "Mad"?
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    I love your little Rants AS -{
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    I see the News of the World, sorry The sun on Sunday . is in trouble
    Again for trying to entrap Tulisa Contostavlos for selling drugs etc.
    Seems the Murdoch press hasn't changed, even the judge says the
    Reported may have committed perjury. I hope she takes them to
    The cleaners for compensation ! -{
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    That reminds me, I must sue TP for plagiarizing my Song Ideas...
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    :)) oh I plagiarize everything, jokes, songs sexual positions ! :D
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    :))
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • Silhouette ManSilhouette Man The last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,689MI6 Agent
    I see the News of the World, sorry The sun on Sunday . is in trouble
    Again for trying to entrap Tulisa Contostavlos for selling drugs etc.
    Seems the Murdoch press hasn't changed, even the judge says the
    Reported may have committed perjury. I hope she takes them to
    The cleaners for compensation ! -{

    Yes, who are they kidding with their name change - they treat the British public as if they are fools. We are not! :v
    "The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    I wouldn't mind if they spent their time using these techniques to
    Go after Terrorists, paedophiles or corrupt politicians etc ( which I'm
    Sure will be their defence, free press etc ).
    Strangely they only seem to use it to gather cheap gossip and tittle
    Tattle on celebs, or to expose the sex life of a minor Royal or politician.
    The news is regulated on radio and TV , with no restrictions on them
    From exposing major crimes and stories. I think as much as they don't
    Like it the papers will have to be regulated.
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Silhouette ManSilhouette Man The last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 8,689MI6 Agent
    I wouldn't mind if they spent their time using these techniques to
    Go after Terrorists, paedophiles or corrupt politicians etc ( which I'm
    Sure will be their defence, free press etc ).
    Strangely they only seem to use it to gather cheap gossip and tittle
    Tattle on celebs, or to expose the sex life of a minor Royal or politician.
    The news is regulated on radio and TV , with no restrictions on them
    From exposing major crimes and stories. I think as much as they don't
    Like it the papers will have to be regulated.

    Yes, I agree. I don't think they will be regulated under the Coalition Government though as PM David Cameron has ruled it out, though the Leveson Inquiry is there for a future British government to implement as they see fit. The control of the Press is a difficult balance between the right to disclosure, the right to a privacy and the hard-attained freedom of the press, a mainstay of democracy. Hopefully a solution can be arrived at some point in the future. -{
    "The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
  • always shakenalways shaken LondonPosts: 6,287MI6 Agent
    picked up one of my wifes mags today (no alphaomegasin my wifes magazine not a magazine with wives in ,but thet are good :)) }just ask TP :D
    anyway an ex footballers ex pop star wife, no names here (litigation) she is complaining that she is soooo busy, dosent get to bed until at least 11pm, and the decorating of their £5,000,000 London house is getting her down and she dosent see her husband much
    because he is in America earing 5 gazillion pounds an hour ,oh whoa is me my life is so hard , please there are people out there
    living on £5 a day
    By the way, did I tell you, I was "Mad"?
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    I usually quickly look up the answers to those quizzes they have about ......
    Is your husband in touch with his feminine side ?
    Is your husband a tiger in bed ?

    So when I'm eventually asked, I can come across as incredibly sensitive and
    Understanding of women, in touch with my feelings and a sexual Tyrannosaur !
    :))
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    Part of the Reason why I cant stand Footballers. Try getting up at Three nearly every Morning, then walking in all Weathers whilst getting threatened by Pissheads only to push a Trolley around Tescos for £7.45 an Hour. Luckily the GF makes just enough with her Job so we squeeze by every Month :(
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
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