My Summer Love Letter to James Bond: A Series of Bond Reviews

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Comments

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    I think Firemass's point isn't to do with liking the film or not, instead suggesting that some make out that there's more depth to it than is actually present.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    " Point Taken " :))
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    In my opinion ;) The Bond films with the most depth ( in that they show
    You something about Bond the man, not the agent ) would include.
    OHMSS, CR and LTK, which funnily enough are my top three Bonds :))
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    Nothing funny about that, it's a perfectly valid reason to appreciate those particular movies.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    In my opinion it would save a lot of time if everybody
    agreed with me about everything. :)) :p ;)
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    May never happen :# :))
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • samurai4114samurai4114 Alberta, CanadaPosts: 129MI6 Agent
    Firemass wrote:
    So that means we’re do for the Bond of all Bonds, to dig truly into his character, and not just his façade. Bond is going to fall in to love and get married, for real this time.

    Fans like to pretend that OHMSS digs deep into the Bond character, but there's nothing really there. Same ol' one-liners, womanizing, snobbery, and knowledge of rare butterflies. If Bond actually gave a damn about Tracy, he wouldn't have slept with 10+ bimbos at Blofeld's clinic. Aside from the wedding sequence at the end, how much screen time is actually devoted to this character development?

    I like OHMSS, but it's nowhere near being "The Bond of all Bonds" a title which should be reserved for either Goldfinger or The Spy Who Loved Me.

    What I was sort of aiming at when I wrote the conclusion, were my expectations for OHMSS. I'd think that you would agree with me that there needed to be after YOLT, a film needed to be a little different than the formula. OHMSS was the fourth SPECTRE movie, so I don't think my expectations were out of line to say that push had to come to shove very, very soon. And when you have Bond against his magnum opus, I think it would have to be the Bond of all Bonds.

    Now I know that OHMSS has kind of divided opinions of, but when Bond is on the bench and pulls the coat over his ears, with no help in sight....and then Tracy is there. I think there is something there. And I tend to like the films that don't follow the formula as much. DN, FRWL, and OHMSS all are a bit different in style and pacing, and are my 10/10 films (spoiler).

    I'm am a little curious though why you have The Spy Who Loved Me as a possibility of Bond of all Bonds though.

    Thanks for reading my review {[]
  • BlackleiterBlackleiter Washington, DCPosts: 5,615MI6 Agent
    Thunderball

    When Thunderball was released in 1965, James Bond fever was at its height. (I believe symptoms of Bond fever are coughing, sneezing, and runny nose.) Bond was the biggest thing going at the cinema at that time, as millions of boys, girls, men and women filled up lines around the world to watch what he had in store next. It’s a critical point in film history and is culturally significant. For those reasons alone, many from that time believe that Thunderball is the best that they ever offered.

    Thunderball is the second in the SPECTRE series after taking a brief hiatus with Goldfinger. It also starts to really up the threats and prospects of world domination and destruction of major cities, making a thriller like From Russia With Love looks so much smaller in the process.

    Thunderball was dubbed the “Biggest Bond of them all.” at the time and watching the film, you can feel that the grandeur is even more so than Goldfinger. The character had become so beloved by the public, that the appetite and want for more outrageous, or maybe better said, greater entertainment grew as well. Case is point being the PTS, a scene specifically made to up the action and entertainment of the franchise. Bond, after beating up the cross dresser after the funeral, is being chased by two thugs. With seemingly no escape what is Bond to do? If this was just a couple years ago, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to say that Bond was just going to have to beat them up. But, with this added dimension or aspect of the Bond phenomenon, we get the jet-pack escape. A marvellous scene for a boy in the mid-sixties. But I’m almost as interested in how creative he would have to get without it.

    The fourth James Bond outing, is the ultimate Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde Bond film. I liked it the first time, disliked it the second time, found it really entertaining the third, then boring the fourth, and back and forth. Thunderball’s enjoyment level hinges on the day, and more so the underwater scenes. They are what I’ll call “hinge scenes.” But more times than not I’m able to identify what I like, and don’t like about this picture.

    I really like a Bond film where you can really see what the villain is doing, and how he is going to accomplish his goal, his motives and such. In From Russia With Love, the first 15 minutes are devoted to how SPECTRE has formulated their plot and how they are going to carry it out. Thunderball is similar in that respect. Right after the song (what a number by the way, Tom Jones knocked it out of the park) we are plunged into a boardroom meeting, where criminals take the place of businessmen. (That phrase almost works if you flip it around.) This scene is really neat and adds a complexion of bigness that wasn’t there before with SPECTRE. Last time we saw them meet, they were in a modest room, with just a few people. Now you can tell that SPECTRE is stronger than ever, and that Bond’s challenge will be his toughest as well.

    While that was a good scene, the ten minutes we get where Derval’s double hijacks the planes, and recover the atomic bombs (just realized, second straight Bond film to have atomic bombs, or “devices.”) is just dull and seems much longer. Almost like a documentary feel to it. This can be said as well about the underwater fight scenes. At times I think it’s just a big mess, and you aren’t sure who to focus on. Although there are unique challenges being underwater; limited mobility and different weaponry, it just wasn’t enough to keep me enthralled the whole time. When you compare it to a gypsy fight scene, where you know where Bond is, and you can see him fighting all these different guys. That’s more entertaining to me, than that of Thunderball’s.

    What I often forget about Thunderball, is just how good Connery is (again). I mean wow! He’s just good. How he handles the social, physical, and personal aspects of Bond is remarkable (again). Bond’s ego snubs out Largo at the chemin de fer table, and when he is invited for a lunch at Largo’s house. The comedy aspect of the clay pigeon scene is hilarious. He kind of holds the gun awkwardly and says he doesn’t know much about them, then snipes the target like he wasn’t trying. How good is that! Bond is still in tip-top shape, and can fight with anyone who wants it. Was there any doubt that the meatball Largo was going to get wrecked by Bond… I didn’t think so.

    And who can forget when Bond walks in on Fiona taking a bath in the hotel. “Well since you’re here, you mind grabbing me something to put on?” *Hands her the shoes. Bloody brilliant!

    Somehow, in the world of fast cars, skis, boats, the best chase scenes for me have always been on two legs, and are usually done in crowded areas. The best chase scene in Thunderball, isn’t the one with Count Lippe, (that scene is quite forgettable in fact) it’s the one during the parade where Fiona and the heavies are searching desperately for Bond. Connery always looks like he’s in control, but here he plays Bond to be a little scared, and that’s what I like. The way he weaves through the different floats and such with the wound, gives him a certain amount of weakness that draws us further in. When he is finally caught at the sleazy nightclub, he knows he could be within his final seconds of life. The screen cuts back and forth to Fiona and he dancing, the guards surrounding them, the gun peaking out through the curtains (not sure what else to call them), the drummer ramping up the intensity of the moments with his high octane hands, the singer’s face about to seemingly burst, all until BANG!

    Like nothing happened, Bond swings Fiona into the bullet at just the right time. The music returns to normal, none of other dancers know what happened. It’s like it all took place in a vacuum inside the nightclub. The scene finishes brilliantly, “Mind if my friend sits this one out? She’s just dead.” A line delivered so well, not intended for laughs, but might still get a morbid one here or there from someone. It speaks to how intense the scene really was, and how close it was for our hero.

    Thunderball has the best collection of Bond girls you could really dream of. The good girl of Domino Derval, basically a hostage of Largo, is secretly hoping to find someone to save her from her bleak life. Claudine Auger is just stunning and gives a believable performance. And the bad girl of Fiona Volpe. The red hair, the accent, the body….. Gives me chills every time. More proof that Connery, bar-none had the best Bond girls. Let’s just say that during the first four Bond pictures my thoughts haven’t always been pure.

    Other than the “hinge scenes,” there are two things that just dampen Thunderball a bit for me. That is the abominable performance by Rik van Nutter as Felix Leiter, and the frankly boring Emilio Largo.

    Whenever Rik van Nutter enters my eyeholes whilst I watch Thunderball, I can’t help but groan. The James Bond production stuff in the past had hit home runs with inexperienced actors and actresses (mainly European models, so hey, how can you lose), but here they failed, miserably. Despite looking like Clint Eastwood’s bastard step-brother, Rik van Nutter possesses no acting skill and bores you when he tries to speak his lines. He doesn’t put any conviction into his words, and doesn’t make you think he has any competence at his job. Watching the scenes with him and Connery, I’ve always wondered how much his (Connery’s) back hurt carrying him on the screen like that. There’s no chemistry at all with any of his colleagues, and he looks silly when he has to anything to say or do. I didn’t notice the extent of how bad the acting is at first, but every time I put the disc in the player I’m reminded. It really is too bad.

    Emilio Largo is a boring villain. Alright, I know he’s got an eye patch, but come on. That really is the most sinister thing about him. The scenes where he’s made to look tough, just make him look like a cranky old man, especially when he threatens to torture Domino. (And how are we supposed to believe there’s a universe where a girl like Domino is attracted to and becomes involved a guy like Largo. That begins to cross the realm the possibility.) Usually I’m in favour for a lot of villain screen time, but in this case it was too much. I’m not at all engaged with his character at all, unlike Dr. No or Red Grant, or Goldfinger. Thank God there was Fiona Volpe, a vibrant character that can seduce and be oh so evil. There’s a better character. Part of the blame is Adolfo Celi, and probably the writers. For a big Bond movie, we deserved a larger than life baddie, and Thunderball undersells in that department.

    The boat fight though is a great clincher for the movie. The intensity is ramped up to its height in the film and is great fun to watch. Although I almost get sea-sick from the editing done, it re-inforces the effect and situation Bond is in. Someone has to steer to the boat while they fight. Back and forth they go, with Largo’s underlings taking turns at Bond as well. Then the final seconds where Largo has Bond all but killed, and the great twist with Domino killing Largo. Fitting ending considering all the bad blood in that relationship and really unprecedented, our main villain not being ousted by the title hero. A little uniqueness there. And who doesn’t love the grandiose of Bond and Domino flying through the air, hitching a ride on airplane flying by. We know that Bond is probably getting lucky after that.

    And a small thing to make mention of. In a world where Bond fights SPECTRE, he has no problems using a bit of extortion to bed that lady at that health clinic after his experience with “the rack.” Another sort of “semi-rape” moment from the 60’s…

    Overall, Thunderball has its good bits and bad ones. While Connery again delights and excites with his two leading ladies, there are noticeable weak points in the characters of Felix Leiter and Emilio Largo. I’m sure there are those who like it more than me, and others who dislike it more, sometimes it’s a rollercoaster. Bond fever was its height, and many fans left the theatre feeling pretty good after Thunderball, while others perhaps left a little disappointed that it wasn’t of the same quality of the first three.

    7/10

    Another fantastic review of what for me is a top tier Bond film. (As you get to know me, you'll see that I'm a huge Connery fan and I pretty much consider all of the Connery Bonds as top tier). I wholeheartedly agree with you about Connery's performance - he is as smooth and assured as ever. The scene where he hands Fiona the slippers is quintessential Sean as Bond! And speaking of Fiona, let me just say I have probably experienced some of those "impure" thoughts you mentioned! :)) I'm probably not as disappointed by Largo as you are, but I'll admit he's not the most interesting villain. But Rik Van Nutter as Felix Leiter????? I can't imagine how that guy was even offered an audition, much less hired for the part! Yes, the underwater scenes are a bit plodding, but other than that I think Thunderball is a fantastic Bond film - not as great as FRWL or GF, but still terrrific. And I really admire the way you have captured many of its high points in your review. {[]
    "Felix Leiter, a brother from Langley."
  • BlackleiterBlackleiter Washington, DCPosts: 5,615MI6 Agent
    In my opinion it would save a lot of time if everybody
    agreed with me about everything. :)) :p ;)

    I tried that for a while, and as a result I'm now in therapy! :))
    "Felix Leiter, a brother from Langley."
  • samurai4114samurai4114 Alberta, CanadaPosts: 129MI6 Agent
    Another fantastic review of what for me is a top tier Bond film. (As you get to know me, you'll see that I'm a huge Connery fan and I pretty much consider all of the Connery Bonds as top tier). I wholeheartedly agree with you about Connery's performance - he is as smooth and assured as ever. The scene where he hands Fiona the slippers is quintessential Sean as Bond! And speaking of Fiona, let me just say I have probably experienced some of those "impure" thoughts you mentioned! :)) I'm probably not as disappointed by Largo as you are, but I'll admit he's not the most interesting villain. But Rik Van Nutter as Felix Leiter????? I can't imagine how that guy was even offered an audition, much less hired for the part! Yes, the underwater scenes are a bit plodding, but other than that I think Thunderball is a fantastic Bond film - not as great as FRWL or GF, but still terrrific. And I really admire the way you have captured many of its high points in your review. {[]

    Thanks a lot BL. Yes I have noticed from your other posts that you are quite the Connery fan. (Even more so than me.) Connery's always been my favourite as long as I can remember, he has all the aspects of the character down and he's just enjoyable to watch. And Rik van Nutter is just horriawful.

    Thanks for reading {[]
  • BlackleiterBlackleiter Washington, DCPosts: 5,615MI6 Agent
    You Only Live Twice

    You Only Live Twice is where **** gets real. Sure, before we were topping American missiles, stealing decoding devices, breaking into the palace of Fort Knox, and hijacking atomic bonds at ransom for 100,000,000 pounds. But now we’re at the real big-time threats of war, and world domination.

    The third SPECTRE film is the most pivotal to the franchise at the moment. After building the anticipation and mystery in the other two SPECTRE features, we’ve been building up till a final climax which must be revealed in this entry. That climax being Blofeld. What does this guy look like? Blofeld is the main baddie this time, he doesn’t have his operatives doing his bidding for him, he really is the main villain this go-round. Even though his underlings play a significant role as well, now we’re going to see how the two best at what they do are going to clash and become locked together in film lore.

    This is the first Bond film where Connery underwhelmed me. Now I realize my expectations were quite high, but that is the bar he set with his performances the years previous. Something has happened to him since Thunderball. Watching the recent documentary feature on Bond, it has been said that Connery had a difficult time in Japan, and was mobbed everywhere he went. He also felt that he had been robbed of money that he should have earned because of this boon. Now, I think that this was probably why there was some…unrest and uneasiness between Connery and the producers Cubby Broccoli and Harry Saltzman.

    Why it’s significant I guess is because all the Bonds stay pretty consistant during their tenures. And here is a noticeably off performance from someone that has done so much better work. He doesn’t look bad in the fight scenes though, in fact he looks in tip-top shape. But, I noticed it the little things, the things that I’ve obsessed about that made Connery great in the past, how he walked into a room with presence and how he glared at his assassins. The dialogue he just doesn’t deliver the with the same conviction anymore, like he doesn’t believe the words he saying. The usual back-and-forth between him and Moneypenny isn’t as fluent, especially when he grabs the lantern on her desk and tries to deliver a joke. It falls flat. He just kind of under delivers, which downgrades the film a bit for me.

    While I’ve said in my last four reviews is that Connery had the best Bond girls, this movie I suppose, depends on your taste and preference. The girls this time around underwhelm me too, Aki and Kissy Suzuki just aren’t that interesting. And why do Aki and Bond even start their romance anyway? Out of the blue she starts massaging him and suddenly they pecking at their each others lips. It’s just a forced storyline that is sort of weak. Kissy while down-to-earth, and athletic enough to scale the volcano (twice), and avoid being killed on her swim, she is just kind blah to my experience. Like I said just a few sentences earlier though, maybe if you have are fond of Asian chicks you would have a better time watching it, but even then, the characters are just weak.

    Even Bond’s ally Tiger Tanaka, who’s good and convinces me that he is a Japanese operative, is alright. However, it’s a shame that we get just that snippet with Henderson and there wasn’t more there, Henderson was shaping up to be an interesting character. (Just triggered something here though. Who’s idea it was for Henderson to screw up Bond’s drink order, and gave him a “stirred, not shaken,” order. It’s a dumb joke, I don’t like it. Makes me shake my head every time. On the whole I don’t like it how everyone knows Bond’s favourite drink but still, the scene would have been better if Henderson just handed Bond a drink, and said “drink this.”
    Moving on…)

    You Only Live Twice plunges you into the landscape and day-to-day life of Japanese culture, sometimes it works to great effect, and other times just comes off a little ignorant. And although I’m a fan of some of the more politically incorrect sequences from the 60’s, the scene where Bond and Tanaka are washed by the girls is just kind of weird, and the cheesily (I’m creating words now, so watch out) used phrase Bond spits, “Japanese proverbs say, bird never lay nest in bare tree,” which is a rare cringe-worthy Roger Moore type moment for myself.

    The cinematography looks great, and always makes me think that one day I’ll have to pay a visit to Japan. Despite being something a travelogue for myself, the plot is definitely the most outlandish in the series at that point. To faking his death to travel to Japan, where he will investigate the kidnapping of space shuttles, while doing so he will discover that SPECTRE’s lair is hidden inside a volcano, become a certified ninja after taking the course, and yeah Bond has surgery to make him look Japanese. (Turning Japanese, I’m turning Japanese on the inside…) And while this is certainly one of the most grandiose of the Bonds, it also makes for a wildly entertaining movie, despite another major detractor.

    Blofeld sucks. When I tried to put a face on the man I’d only seen the outline of from From Russia With Love and Thunderball, it wasn’t Mr. Loomis’ face. (Low blow…probably) Blofeld is supposed to be a big, intimidating man, isn’t he? That’s what I kind of envisioned (and believed after reading the books.) And here we get a small man, a guy who looks small in his chair. Was his weird eye supposed to make him look more evil. It just made me stare at him and say, “Wow, that’s a weird eye.” His voice too is just awful. It sounds like an angry cartoon character, “Kill Bond now.” Speak like a real human being Blofeld, for all our sakes. When Blofeld stands next to Bond he just looks tiny. It’s bad man. Too bad actually. And the way he butchers the execution is not believable. This man wanted Bond dead years ago. (Let his death be a particularly unpleasant one.) What’s the point of killing Osato in front of Bond? I’m sure he was thrilled to learn the “price of failure.” Then his annoying voice again, “Goodbye Mr. Bond.” What a joke! I wanted something a little less whimsical for this part of the film, but this was not to be had.

    Makes me think that Robert Shaw should have been asked to play Blofeld, instead of Red Grant, so we could get a convincing actor in the most important villain in the series. Luckily there was Telly Savales for OHMSS.

    The smaller cast of villains has a small bright spot in Karin Dor as Helga Brandt. Fitting into the red-haired femme fatale role that Fiona Volpe started the picture before, Bond is again able to seduce her, while narrowly escaping death. (This includes one of the final tracks on Connery’s Forgettable Scenes album, the helicopter escape, which involves the softest landing in the history of aerodynamics. Helga does look pretty good with all that parachuting equipment on though…) It’s too bad she is killed as well, but it was only inevitable after the ****-up she had. (I mean who didn’t see the old bridge breaking up, leading to the piranha death.)

    Without Helga, the villainy would be less interesting, Osato is another meh character, and Hans is just a heavy. (I guess at SPECTRE island they specialized on big, blonde haired assassins.)

    So, the villain sucks, Bond girls just meh, Connery’s having an off night, and there really isn’t that good a character to watch left. How am I going to give this a favourable score, because of the tremendous action scenes, that’s how. Whether you want to talk about the hand-to-hand combat scenes with Bond against Hans or even the one at Osato’s office. These are supremely entertaining. Then we up it a bit. Let’s put Bond in a portable helicopter and have him try and outmanoeuvre real ones. Bloody excellent, and with the Bond theme pumping in the background, it’s hard not to enjoy. Then it even gets better yet. That gorgeous set that Ken Adam masterminded is his best work yet. Clocking in at about the same budget of Dr. No, that set would play host to one of the best final battle scenes in all the Bonds. The ninja’s dynamiting the barrier and then swooping in, (minus Tarzan yell) is too good, and just the scale of the battle is truly amazing! Now if they had written some good characters and made a better casting choice, you are looking at a true top-flight Bond picture.

    When I began doing my preliminary writings on both Thunderball and You Only Live Twice (now I’m making myself out to be a bloody real writer) I couldn’t help but notice a lot of similarities. Disappointing villain, some lacklustre supporting cast, some boring bits, but some thrilling sequences of their own which rate highly on the scale overall in Bond. I now view them as Bond movies that are kind of one in the same. But one doing on thing better than the other.

    A couple of finer notes. While Bond is posing as the astronaut, if not caught he would actually being going into space, and probably dying as the result. We know of the automatic self-destruction button that Bond used to save the day, but that could have easily been used against him, if Bond had actually gotten his way.

    Turning Connery Japanese is the least convincing job ever done by a makeup team in a movie. He looks ridiculous and his whenever he speaks, he’s speaking in a SCOTTISH accent! C’mon, let’s get serious here.

    While Bond poses as Mr. Fisher is Osato’s office, Osato cleverly (not really) makes reference to Bond taking a risk, then re-directs it by saying smoking is very bad for the chest. Then here comes Helga with Bond’s drink, “Mr. Osato believes in a heavy chest.” With the camera angle looking up at her so that we get a good look at hers. Lewis Gilbert definitely makes his mark with a little thing here…

    Overall, You Only Live Twice isn’t just a phrase that contradicts a popular hash tag on Twitter, it’s a very entertaining movie. And although Connery would be gone for the next one, we still haven’t resolved the conflict between Bond and Blofeld (not that we ever really did, in the next couple). So that means we’re do for the Bond of all Bonds, to dig truly into his character, and not just his façade. Bond is going to fall in to love and get married, for real this time.

    7/10

    Ahhhh......another all time favorite. I realize You Only Live Twice is probably not the best Bond film by any stretch (in my book, that would be Goldfinger), but it is certainly the one I find to be the most fun. The exotic location, the beautiful cinematography, the gorgeous soundtrack, the thrilling action scenes (I particularly enjoy the fight with the thug in Osato's office and the overhead shots of the battle on the docks) - it's all just so damned entertaining! I can't really argue with the weaknesses you pointed out (the puny Blofeld, the "Japanese" Bond, the underwhelming henchmen), but none of that diminishes my love for YOLT. I saw it when it was first released in theaters in 1967, and it has been a particular favorite of mine since then. In fact, I think my love for this film developed into a fascination with Japan that must have seeped into my genes, because my youngest son developed an interest in the Far East, and particularly Japan, from an early age. And this despite the fact that I never even mentioned or showed him this movie. As he a result, he studied abroad in Japan during his college years and upon graduation he moved there. That was 11 years ago and he still lives there! Unfortunately, I haven't been able to get over there myself yet, but I will! Anyway, YOLT holds a special place in my mania for the Bond films, and I suspect it always will. :007)

    By the way, another stellar review. You are a terrific writer. -{
    "Felix Leiter, a brother from Langley."
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    I'm another who loves your reviews samurai4114, you have a talent for
    Concise, entertaining writing. {[] keep them coming/ -{ :D
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • samurai4114samurai4114 Alberta, CanadaPosts: 129MI6 Agent
    Thanks a lot fellas, it means a lot {[]
  • Colonel ShatnerColonel Shatner Chavtastic Bristol, BritainPosts: 574MI6 Agent
    And why do Aki and Bond even start their romance anyway? Out of the blue she starts massaging him and suddenly they pecking at their each others lips. It’s just a forced storyline that is sort of weak.

    Hmmm, what starts off a casual fling quickly develops into a more sincere, committed relationship that's tragically cut short? Akiko Wakabayashi is one of the more underrated Bond actresses and perhaps helped to keep the movie afloat in the first two thirds alongside a relatively unprofessional Sean Connery (who's heart wasn't as into his role as in the pre-Thunderball movies) and after her character's sad, sad bizarre death, the movie kinda deflates (with the final act saved by the spectacular volcano invasion).

    I always liked Donal Pleasance and his Blofeld role may have worked on a certain level if his odd look was so roundly imitated for decades to come (with Dr. Evil the most famous imitation).
    'Alright guard, begin the unnecessarily slow moving dipping mechanism...'
  • BlackleiterBlackleiter Washington, DCPosts: 5,615MI6 Agent
    I always liked Donal Pleasance and his Blofeld role may have worked on a certain level if his odd look was so roundly imitated for decades to come (with Dr. Evil the most famous imitation).

    I would say that Pleasance's Blofeld was more mocked than imitated. And I think that's the problem with his portrayal - it seemed more cartoonish than the previous Bond villains and there was no real sense of menance. As much as I love YOLT (I believe I've watched it more than any other Bond film), I feel Blofeld is a glaring weakness.
    "Felix Leiter, a brother from Langley."
  • samurai4114samurai4114 Alberta, CanadaPosts: 129MI6 Agent
    And why do Aki and Bond even start their romance anyway? Out of the blue she starts massaging him and suddenly they pecking at their each others lips. It’s just a forced storyline that is sort of weak.

    Hmmm, what starts off a casual fling quickly develops into a more sincere, committed relationship that's tragically cut short? Akiko Wakabayashi is one of the more underrated Bond actresses and perhaps helped to keep the movie afloat in the first two thirds alongside a relatively unprofessional Sean Connery (who's heart wasn't as into his role as in the pre-Thunderball movies) and after her character's sad, sad bizarre death, the movie kinda deflates (with the final act saved by the spectacular volcano invasion).

    I always liked Donal Pleasance and his Blofeld role may have worked on a certain level if his odd look was so roundly imitated for decades to come (with Dr. Evil the most famous imitation).

    But before they start they start making out, there was no sexual tension or anything like that before in the movie. Why are they drawn to each other so much? It's almost like there was a scene they left out.

    You also bring up Aki's sad, sad death. But, after she dies there's no mention of her, no signs from Bond that it was troubling him. There's wasn't funeral, or a "this mission's for Aki" type thing happening. The movie just continues, so I'd like to believe you that there relationship was serious, but the movie suggests otherwise.

    Another question is, why have her die in the first place? That's another storyline that kind of troubles me. If there wasn't going to be a mention of it later, what's the point? And why have two different girls when one should have been sufficient. I don't think you needed both Aki and Kissy but...

    Thanks for reading. {[]
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    Aki dies because the producers told Roald Dahl that she should. He gave an interview (I think to "Playboy") stating that they told him to write three girls into the story, two.good and one bad, and how many should live or die.
  • samurai4114samurai4114 Alberta, CanadaPosts: 129MI6 Agent
    Barbel wrote:
    Aki dies because the producers told Roald Dahl that she should. He gave an interview (I think to "Playboy") stating that they told him to write three girls into the story, two.good and one bad, and how many should live or die.

    Thanks again for the info Barbel! I just think that less would have been more in this case.
  • Colonel ShatnerColonel Shatner Chavtastic Bristol, BritainPosts: 574MI6 Agent
    edited July 2014
    Speaking of the feeling of scenes missing in regards to Aki and Bond, Samurai, you may have a point - the original early cut of YOLT had a similar running time to many flagship films made in the past 12 years or so of almost three hours, so there may have been more scenes of the relationship and Bond obviously brooding over a dead Aki trimmed out (but in the final cut there's subtle scenes of Bond silently grieving, like him not sleeping and eating properly at Kissy's home, but that could be just me).
    'Alright guard, begin the unnecessarily slow moving dipping mechanism...'
  • samurai4114samurai4114 Alberta, CanadaPosts: 129MI6 Agent
    That would make more sense. And you might have a point about Bond silently grieving, but I never construed it that way. But maybe something to notice for next time.
  • samurai4114samurai4114 Alberta, CanadaPosts: 129MI6 Agent
    edited July 2014
    On Her Majesty's Secret Service

    In 1969, the James Bond franchise were to release to the sixth Bond film, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. After another year and a half long wait, fans of Bond I'm sure we're getting restless for a new feature length Bond extravaganza. But, they didn't aim for the biggest Bond, but went with a more developed storyline to enhance the overall experience. They also, were going to have a new Bond, a model from Australia named George Lazenby.

    I can remember my giddiness the first time I viewed it. I was so jacked after You Only Live Twice, because I just felt that something had to give in the next one, and it gave.

    George Lazenby takes a lot of heat from people, even more so then. He was attacked by critics that hadn’t even seen the movie yet, for his acting inexperience. With these sort of mean-spirited jabs at Lazenby put aside for a moment, you can then realize then he isn't bad at all. In fact, Lazenby does quite a good job at portraying Bond. He can deliver the lines with conviction, punch in the one-liner, showed some critically important emotion that was required so they could extract all the source material that was required, and boy could this guy fight! Connery was a good battler, but man, Lazenby definitely learned something on those tough Aussie streets. Every punch is a hay-maker ready to break the jaw of the SOB that’s in his way. We certainly realized who we were dealing with after that PTS. Punctuated by the fourth wall break, “This never happened to the other fellow,” after Tracy leaves exit’s the beach. Oh George.

    Speaking of the title sequences, this one in particular is stunning and probably the best of the series. The title has no words, just this theme that feels like this is the eleventh hour. Plus, the credits do a great job of showing how important this one is to be, by putting all the other missions in perspective. It always gives me a sense that this is really is a culmination of all the Bond adventures, because he must defeat SPECTRE this go around. He will be tested unlike before, and it will certainly be entertaining.

    In the world of Bond girls, there is only one Bond woman. She being the Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo, played by Diana Rigg. She is easily the best actress that has ever graced the screen as the female counterpart to Bond, and carries a bit of elegance about her that is just above the other Bond girls. You know, like comparing her to Tiffany Case for example is just sort of wrong. Rigg epitomizes that 60’s British beauty that isn’t just a pretty face, but there are smarts in her as well. They definitely found an actress that had the chops to carry a rookie at times, I’m not sure how many other Bond girls have been able to do that.

    Draco is a cool ally. Unlike before when Bond's allies where good ole boys who worked it other stations and intelligence agencies, Draco is the leader of the second most successful crime syndicate in the world. Draco plays off of Bond similarly to Kerim Bey, the elder and wiser friend, it works more so this time because Draco will be Bond's father-in-law.

    After the particularly lame and cartoonish interpretation of Blofeld by Donald Pleasance, we get Telly Savales who provides a breath of fresh air to the character. Telly, a natural bigger guy provides the necessary baldness and brawn which makes you believe that he is heading the biggest crime syndicate in the world. He plays off Lazenby well, their give and take at Piz Gloria shows good chemistry. And the physical elements that Blofeld provides is nice as well, him skiing and partaking in the attempted re-capture of Bond makes you believe that he wouldn’t let another opportunity slip in killing him. (Even though he bloody well had him dead to rights in Japan a couple years back. And wanted to first kill him about six years ago. Just saying.)

    Irma Bunt is just a vile old woman, sort of reminiscent to Rosa Klebb in that way. It really is a shame that she kills Bond’s wife, and that’s it. No continuation to the story afterwards for her character. She’s just a one-off, and for someone who plays a huge role in the ending, it just gives me a bad taste in my mouth.

    The scheme that Blofeld has devised is so very sinister and scary because he might just be able to pull it off. The threat of total infertility to billions of people, compacted by the angels of death, Blofeld could annihilate everyone and everything in his path. Not to mention his lovely looking hideaway at Piz Gloria, he really has an evil lair to match the evil plan. Like Bond, he's bringing it with his all this time round.

    The immaculate pacing of the film leads to the action-packed last hour, including the greatest chase sequence in the whole franchise. The first part being the skiing portion, with the music playing in the background and a small cavalry tailing Bond; it is wonderful entertainment and drama as Bond dodges bullets, loses his one ski, and still manages to escape the grips of SPECTRE for a little while at least.

    Bond now has to manoeuvre through the crowd and hope that he isn't spotted by Irma Bunt and the two heavies. There’s something magical about the crowded, on-foot chase sequences because of the consequences if he is caught. In Thunderball the most drama was easily the on-foot chase through the parade. No difference here, correction, one small one. Even if Bond does wrangle away completely, there’s no one to help him. He will be alone. In TB, if he does get away (spoiler, he gets away) then there is Leiter and the crew waiting for him a few miles away. That’s partly why Bond is scared. He finally has the time to fit in to the crowd and sit for a moment, putting the jacket over his ears. (I imagine it was bloody cold. Which for Bond was probably like -10C, being the globe-trotting, tropical guy he is. Yes, I’m a bitter Canadian that deals with six months of snow. In fact the coldest day we had this year was a crisp -59C with the wind chill. And we still went to our basketball tournament later that day. Any who…) So now Bond has seeming no where to go, no plan, and is freezing on the bench. At Bond’s lowest moment we see the last ray of hope, with the Christmas music playing somewhere in the distance, his saviour, Tracy.

    Two legs through and we still get a wildly exciting car chase through an actual automobile race. Like a glorified version of bumper cars, Tracy beats up anyone who bothers to get in there path and finally after reaching an exit (a self-made exit), Bond has to send word to M at the telegraph. Almost being the most costly message he ever sent, Bond hops back in and they take refuge in a stable (presumably there was no room in the inn.) Whoa! What an action-packed period, unlike any other scene up until that point in the series. I still marvel at it every re-watch.

    Not only is there that spectacular chase, but darn good fight scenes as well. The fight in the hotel room is brutal. Brutal man. (I wonder what damages cost for the room in the final bill.) It highlights the great physical chops Lazenby has, even against the bigger opponent and gives some action to the plot development side of the movie.

    Avalanches are quite dangerous, as shown by the scene where Tracy is taken from Bond. Quite an interesting little scene considering what we see Bond does we faced with this challenge. Bond goes to great lengths to get his alive (he assumes) wife back. Imagine what he would do if she killed. (Oh wait.)

    The final battle at Piz Gloria is quite the climax to finish off the film. Against the strict orders of M, Bond with Draco smashes through Blofeld’s palace and bombs the place to smithereens. Draco is able to nab his daughter, while praying that Bond will escape before the final strands of sand slip from the hourglass. He then tries to kill Blofeld, only he must go follow him in the bobsleigh track.

    A triumph of rear-screen projection, the bobsleigh chase isn’t without its excitement. This could be the moment where Bond finally kills his nemesis, or vice-versa. After bullets solve nothing, a grenade is thrown and Bond must jump. He narrowly ejects in time and now has time to jump onto Blofeld’s sled. They punch and strike each other, will it finally be over? Out of nowhere, a stray limb of an overhanging tree snatches Blofeld by the neck launching him out of his seat and into the tree. He branched off. (I always have felt that Bond saying that line at that time was kind of inappropriate.) And that’s the end we assume of Blofeld. (I originally wasn’t sure if he was dead or not upon first viewing. I was adamant that they couldn’t end Blofeld’s character that way. In retrospect, it really wouldn’t have mattered because that goofy ending of Diamonds solved nothing).

    I was excited to see Bond get married, he seemed quite thrilled. Were we going to see the family man side of Bond? They drive away to their honeymoon, but don’t get far. (Shouldn’t have taken those bloody flowers off the car.) And after Tracy shares some deep feelings of renewed hope and plans for the future, those are the last words we hear her say. She is shot. And Bond is too, in the heart. They had all the time in the world…

    Lazenby plays that final scene so well, that I can’t understand the criticism he gets. I just can’t. He delivered a fine performance and in the most heartbreaking moment of the franchise, has the perfect amount of emotion. He did a fine job. (Now only if he signed that seven picture deal, then we could get a better barometer of how he is compared against Connery, Craig etc.)

    On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is the Abbey Road of the Bond movies. They each closed out the sixties, and were the last great hurrahs for each group. Side 1 you get the building of the film, and continues to progress as the plot thickens and thickens. When you flip the record over, you get the slow escape from the gondola holding place. (Can’t think of a better name for it.) This is like Because and You Never Give Me Your Money. Then the chase begins and all the scenes flow together so beautifully like a medley. The up-tempo music of Polythene Pam and Mean Mr. Mustard are neat rockers that excite like the skiing. The slow lullaby of Golden Slumbers is Bond running for his life in the crowd, while the poignant discovery of Tracy is She Came in Through the Bathroom Window, and Tracy then carries Bond’s weight all the way to the stable. The End is the bobsleigh chase, where we think for a split-second Blofeld could be finished. And Her Majesty… Bond’s only true love, there marriage short, finishes the movie on a sad note. “Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl, some day I’m gonna make her mine.” Unfortunately she wasn't his for long.

    The deepest and most emotion fueled Bond adventure so far finds its self in the elite on my list. Somewhere I think OHMSS gets slighted, all the major lists by popular websites bill it as a top ten film but not much higher. Casual fans never have it as their favourite, and it seems to me, it is only truly appreciated by maybe Bond die-hards such as yourselves. It isn't a formula Bond film, nor should it have been. Bond's wife of a few minutes has been murdered, and someone has to pay. Right?

    10/10
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    Another excellent review, Sam! Nice touch comparing OHMSS to Abbey Road.
  • Sir MilesSir Miles The Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 26,418Chief of Staff
    I find it pretty hard to disagree with a single word of that !

    Excellent stuff -{
    YNWA 97
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    +1, OHMSS gets a 10/10 from me too. {[]
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    One of my all time favorites -{
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • BlackleiterBlackleiter Washington, DCPosts: 5,615MI6 Agent
    In 1969, the James Bond franchise were to release to the sixth Bond film, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. After another year and a half long wait, fans of Bond I'm sure we're getting restless for a new feature length Bond extravaganza. But, they didn't aim for the biggest Bond, but went with a more developed storyline to enhance the overall experience. They also, were going to have a new Bond, a model from Australia named George Lazenby.

    I can remember my giddiness the first time I viewed it. I was so jacked after You Only Live Twice, because I just felt that something had to give in the next one, and it gave.

    George Lazenby takes a lot of heat from people, even more so then. He was attacked by critics that hadn’t even seen the movie yet, for his acting inexperience. With these sort of mean-spirited jabs at Lazenby put aside for a moment, you can then realize then he isn't bad at all. In fact, Lazenby does quite a good job at portraying Bond. He can deliver the lines with conviction, punch in the one-liner, showed some critically important emotion that was required so they could extract all the source material that was required, and boy could this guy fight! Connery was a good battler, but man, Lazenby definitely learned something on those tough Aussie streets. Every punch is a hay-maker ready to break the jaw of the SOB that’s in his way. We certainly realized who we were dealing with after that PTS. Punctuated by the fourth wall break, “This never happened to the other fellow,” after Tracy leaves exit’s the beach. Oh George.

    Speaking of the title sequences, this one in particular is stunning and probably the best of the series. The title has no words, just this theme that feels like this is the eleventh hour. Plus, the credits do a great job of showing how important this one is to be, by putting all the other missions in perspective. It always gives me a sense that this is really is a culmination of all the Bond adventures, because he must defeat SPECTRE this go around. He will be tested unlike before, and it will certainly be entertaining.

    In the world of Bond girls, there is only one Bond woman. She being the Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo, played by Diana Rigg. She is easily the best actress that has ever graced the screen as the female counterpart to Bond, and carries a bit of elegance about her that is just above the other Bond girls. You know, like comparing her to Tiffany Case for example is just sort of wrong. Rigg epitomizes that 60’s British beauty that isn’t just a pretty face, but there are smarts in her as well. They definitely found an actress that had the chops to carry a rookie at times, I’m not sure how many other Bond girls have been able to do that.

    Draco is a cool ally. Unlike before when Bond's allies where good ole boys who worked it other stations and intelligence agencies, Draco is the leader of the second most successful crime syndicate in the world. Draco plays off of Bond similarly to Kerim Bey, the elder and wiser friend, it works more so this time because Draco will be Bond's father-in-law.

    After the particularly lame and cartoonish interpretation of Blofeld by Donald Pleasance, we get Telly Savales who provides a breath of fresh air to the character. Telly, a natural bigger guy provides the necessary baldness and brawn which makes you believe that he is heading the biggest crime syndicate in the world. He plays off Lazenby well, their give and take at Piz Gloria shows good chemistry. And the physical elements that Blofeld provides is nice as well, him skiing and partaking in the attempted re-capture of Bond makes you believe that he wouldn’t let another opportunity slip in killing him. (Even though he bloody well had him dead to rights in Japan a couple years back. And wanted to first kill him about six years ago. Just saying.)

    Irma Bunt is just a vile old woman, sort of reminiscent to Rosa Klebb in that way. It really is a shame that she kills Bond’s wife, and that’s it. No continuation to the story afterwards for her character. She’s just a one-off, and for someone who plays a huge role in the ending, it just gives me a bad taste in my mouth.

    The scheme that Blofeld has devised is so very sinister and scary because he might just be able to pull it off. The threat of total infertility to billions of people, compacted by the angels of death, Blofeld could annihilate everyone and everything in his path. Not to mention his lovely looking hideaway at Piz Gloria, he really has an evil lair to match the evil plan. Like Bond, he's bringing it with his all this time round.

    The immaculate pacing of the film leads to the action-packed last hour, including the greatest chase sequence in the whole franchise. The first part being the skiing portion, with the music playing in the background and a small cavalry tailing Bond; it is wonderful entertainment and drama as Bond dodges bullets, loses his one ski, and still manages to escape the grips of SPECTRE for a little while at least.

    Bond now has to manoeuvre through the crowd and hope that he isn't spotted by Irma Bunt and the two heavies. There’s something magical about the crowded, on-foot chase sequences because of the consequences if he is caught. In Thunderball the most drama was easily the on-foot chase through the parade. No difference here, correction, one small one. Even if Bond does wrangle away completely, there’s no one to help him. He will be alone. In TB, if he does get away (spoiler, he gets away) then there is Leiter and the crew waiting for him a few miles away. That’s partly why Bond is scared. He finally has the time to fit in to the crowd and sit for a moment, putting the jacket over his ears. (I imagine it was bloody cold. Which for Bond was probably like -10C, being the globe-trotting, tropical guy he is. Yes, I’m a bitter Canadian that deals with six months of snow. In fact the coldest day we had this year was a crisp -59C with the wind chill. And we still went to our basketball tournament later that day. Any who…) So now Bond has seeming no where to go, no plan, and is freezing on the bench. At Bond’s lowest moment we see the last ray of hope, with the Christmas music playing somewhere in the distance, his saviour, Tracy.

    Two legs through and we still get a wildly exciting car chase through an actual automobile race. Like a glorified version of bumper cars, Tracy beats up anyone who bothers to get in there path and finally after reaching an exit (a self-made exit), Bond has to send word to M at the telegraph. Almost being the most costly message he ever sent, Bond hops back in and they take refuge in a stable (presumably there was no room in the inn.) Whoa! What an action-packed period, unlike any other scene up until that point in the series. I still marvel at it every re-watch.

    Not only is there that spectacular chase, but darn good fight scenes as well. The fight in the hotel room is brutal. Brutal man. (I wonder what damages cost for the room in the final bill.) It highlights the great physical chops Lazenby has, even against the bigger opponent and gives some action to the plot development side of the movie.

    Avalanches are quite dangerous, as shown by the scene where Tracy is taken from Bond. Quite an interesting little scene considering what we see Bond does we faced with this challenge. Bond goes to great lengths to get his alive (he assumes) wife back. Imagine what he would do if she killed. (Oh wait.)

    The final battle at Piz Gloria is quite the climax to finish off the film. Against the strict orders of M, Bond with Draco smashes through Blofeld’s palace and bombs the place to smithereens. Draco is able to nab his daughter, while praying that Bond will escape before the final strands of sand slip from the hourglass. He then tries to kill Blofeld, only he must go follow him in the bobsleigh track.

    A triumph of rear-screen projection, the bobsleigh chase isn’t without its excitement. This could be the moment where Bond finally kills his nemesis, or vice-versa. After bullets solve nothing, a grenade is thrown and Bond must jump. He narrowly ejects in time and now has time to jump onto Blofeld’s sled. They punch and strike each other, will it finally be over? Out of nowhere, a stray limb of an overhanging tree snatches Blofeld by the neck launching him out of his seat and into the tree. He branched off. (I always have felt that Bond saying that line at that time was kind of inappropriate.) And that’s the end we assume of Blofeld. (I originally wasn’t sure if he was dead or not upon first viewing. I was adamant that they couldn’t end Blofeld’s character that way. In retrospect, it really wouldn’t have mattered because that goofy ending of Diamonds solved nothing).

    I was excited to see Bond get married, he seemed quite thrilled. Were we going to see the family man side of Bond? They drive away to their honeymoon, but don’t get far. (Shouldn’t have taken those bloody flowers off the car.) And after Tracy shares some deep feelings of renewed hope and plans for the future, those are the last words we hear her say. She is shot. And Bond is too, in the heart. They had all the time in the world…

    Lazenby plays that final scene so well, that I can’t understand the criticism he gets. I just can’t. He delivered a fine performance and in the most heartbreaking moment of the franchise, has the perfect amount of emotion. He did a fine job. (Now only if he signed that seven picture deal, then we could get a better barometer of how he is compared against Connery, Craig etc.)

    On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is the Abbey Road of the Bond movies. They each closed out the sixties, and were the last great hurrahs for each group. Side 1 you get the building of the film, and continues to progress as the plot thickens and thickens. When you flip the record over, you get the slow escape from the gondola holding place. (Can’t think of a better name for it.) This is like Because and You Never Give Me Your Money. Then the chase begins and all the scenes flow together so beautifully like a medley. The up-tempo music of Polythene Pam and Mean Mr. Mustard are neat rockers that excite like the skiing. The slow lullaby of Golden Slumbers is Bond running for his life in the crowd, while the poignant discovery of Tracy is She Came in Through the Bathroom Window, and Tracy then carries Bond’s weight all the way to the stable. The End is the bobsleigh chase, where we think for a split-second Blofeld could be finished. And Her Majesty… Bond’s only true love, there marriage short, finishes the movie on a sad note. “Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl, some day I’m gonna make her mine.” Unfortunately she wasn't his for long.

    The deepest and most emotion fueled Bond adventure so far finds its self in the elite on my list. Somewhere I think OHMSS gets slighted, all the major lists by popular websites bill it as a top ten film but not much higher. Casual fans never have it as their favourite, and it seems to me, it is only truly appreciated by maybe Bond die-hards such as yourselves. It isn't a formula Bond film, nor should it have been. Bond's wife of a few minutes has been murdered, and someone has to pay. Right?

    10/10

    +1 - Outstanding!
    "Felix Leiter, a brother from Langley."
  • samurai4114samurai4114 Alberta, CanadaPosts: 129MI6 Agent
    Thanks a lot guys for the kind words! This particular review was the hardest review to write so far because there was so much I wanted to say, and I wanted to give it its due because I really, really respect it. I didn't want to write a crappy review because it deserves the best. Thanks again {[]
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    Can't wait for your Dalton Reviews -{
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • PDJamesBondPDJamesBond Posts: 180MI6 Agent
    These reviews are great, Samurai! Looking forward to reading more soon!
  • samurai4114samurai4114 Alberta, CanadaPosts: 129MI6 Agent
    Diamonds are Forever

    Diamonds are Forever. Yeah... this one had the potential to be great, the storyline had kept shifting and progressing up till this point. Blofeld has put the hit out on Bond's wife and now we're assuming (at least I was) that we were going to get the revenge film. The gritty, hate-fueled, final showdown between Bond and Blofeld. Right?

    Except it doesn't happen. There's no motivation shown by Bond to get after Blofeld besides it being his job. After doing research of this movie, it seems like the whole revenge plot was thrown out after Lazenby rejected returning, as well as Peter Hunt. Talk about throwing the baby out with the bath water. (This phrase is also the weirdest common phrase out there that is commonly used by people. I mean, a baby basically dies into that phrase.)

    So we don't get a satisfactory closer to the rivalry we've witnessed for the past few films. (The first time I watched Diamonds I was praying for that storyline to come up. I waited, and waited, and waited, and this made my first viewing very biased towards the movie.) Needless to say I was disappointed. Has any ever major film franchise neglected this huge chunk of information, that could forever change the title character''s life? Imagine if that's how Fleming wrote the climax of the series. He would have been crucified, and fans of the novels would have burned him at the stake for that lack of ending. Theoretically, we are to assume that Bond just plays around with Blofeld's escape sub, and then jumps to his safety. Place explodes. Who knows what happens to Blofeld. He could have lived, been at large again. But that's the end. Case closed. Let's move on from all this and start fresh. That will never ever sit right with me.

    And it isn't like Bond and Blofeld never come face-to-face. There's whole bloody scenes where they are alone together. You could have slipped some reference to it in that sort of boring diatribe they were on about, but it never comes up.

    But I'm going to objectively look at Diamonds are Forever and try and separate it from what it could have been to what it truly is. An all right Bond film.

    In some respects Diamonds are Forever is a poor man's Goldfinger. And by poor man, I mean homeless man. And by homeless, I mean penniless, with no prospects, all alone, living underneath an underpass in shabby clothes he's been in for years. (My point being, don't compare them.) But, that doesn't stop me from having a good time watching this picture and appreciating it for what it is, and not what it should have been. Guy Hamilton is back for his second go at the series, and brings his lighter approach to the franchise along with him. (Another Goldfinger research connection I found was that a early version of the screenplay had Bond fighting Goldfinger's twin, or brother, or second cousin, or somebody related to Gold finger for revenge. That's quite out there man. But consider this as well. They can weighed the possibility of Goldfinger's revenge as heavily as Bond's for his wife. That seems wrong.)

    Sean Connery's back man! But he isn't that same rock that we once used to expect. He's very relaxed, (too relaxed frankly), and is a little...aged. Sean is a little older, balder, larger, greyer, than before but he's comfortable in the role at least, this being his sixth go-round. (That scene with Bambi and Thumper kicking his ass, didn't help his case though in the old and slow department.) If anything, Sean has actually improved in the comedy aspect. Diamonds is the funniest of the Connery pictures, and it doesn't seem forced. (Except for the mini sub scene with Blofeld, that was forced on us like a magician with a deck of cards.)The back-and-forth between Connery and the funeral guys is hilarious. "You wanna sit in the front Mr. Franks?" "It's a lot smoother ride into the front Mr. Franks."Yes, (thick Scottish accent) I believe I'll sit in the front." And then in the car. "So who's the stiff er, the deceased Mr. Franks?" "It's my brother." "I have a brother." "Small world." That is two of the funniest sequences in Bond history. (Better than most of Moore era pictures attempts at comedy. I'm looking at you double-taking pigeon.)

    Tiffany Case is a supremely attractive Bond girl played by Jill St. John. (There's something about those redheads in these Bond flicks man...) However, St. John returns the leading lady role back to a more ditzy, clumsy character. (Like in that fight on the boat where Bond is against Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, and she just watches and cries. Eek!) Though for a someone into the diamond smuggling business, you'd expect someone a little smarter, or down-to-earth. And at times she is, but other times you cringe. I think overall St. John is more of a plus than a minus. She can't be that detrimental because that purple bikini makes up for a lot.

    Blofeld returns to a more cartoonish character in Diamonds, this time it is Charles Grey, who plays his second role in a Bond. I think he actually does a good job, despite the sort of ridiculous scheme he's devised. Impersonating a celebrity for a couple of years, then smuggling diamonds to make a death ray, then we are going to meticulously wipe out separate parts of the United States. I don't know but it's a little out there for me. If the screenwriters would have kept the plot a little less take-over-the-worldish, I think it would have paid off in future viewings and been maybe a little better respected when compared to the rest.

    If there are two characters who steal the show, and are far and away the best in the picture it's Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd. There weirdness is so interesting, and methods so wonderfully evil that they captivate whenever they enter the frame. Even just the way they speak and finish each others sentences, "If God wanted had wanted man to fly...' "He would have given him wings, Mr. Kidd. (Emphasis on Kidd)" They even look weird, the balding, glasses, just sort of ugly face coupled with the sinister looking smile of Mr. Wint and you have quite the evil, homosexual tag-team. There awkwardness is on display at the end on the boat. (Where they are frankly, manhandled.) But still, I guess I enjoy them like some enjoy Donald Pleasance's Blofeld. Seriously though, these two should have been given the bulk of the screen-time compared to the comic Blofeld. Heck, I wish they were the main villains. It would have made a better movie.

    The one truly notable fight scene is the elevator battle between Bond and Franks. (Or is it Franks or Bond I never really can remember.) Fights in tight quarters are more interesting because of the obvious challenges that go along with it. I don't know about you, but a challenged Bond, is a better Bond. After pretending to make-out with himself and faking a foreigner's accent, the two quickly dive into a glass shattering brawl. It is the one moment in the film when you're truly gripped to what is happening, because after all, this Franks guy is pretty fit. It doesn't drag on which can happen quite easily, and with the fire extinguisher you are looking at quite the deadly weapon. It's the lone action bright spot in a movie that relies more on its comedy than its physical elements. (By the way, that apartment building has to be the emptiest one ever for a fight of that magnitude to occur and NO ONE gets out of their rooms to check it out besides Case. C'mon.)

    With that being said, the two chase scenes are fun. Particularly the moon buggy one just because of its bizarreness, and implications. Bond steals a lunar type transportation device from a staged moon landing set (no doubt directed by Stanley Kubrick), and it actually runs. That's bizarre. And that bit of comedy where Bond runs in at normal speed but the astronauts can't because they are walking on the lunar surface. Another funny little moment.

    The one major setback, (besides that Bond feels no anquish and has no hatred for the man that killed his wife, but then the producers and writers make direct references to Tracy in later films) is that Bond is in seemingly no danger throughout the film. It could just be the uber-relaxed attitude Connery has taken towards Bond this time, but he's never stressed, never worried about anything really. Even when he's in the death coffin, sure he stomps about, but he doesn't look that rattled. When he is willingly captured at the boat rig place, (I'm sure there's a better name) he's just going through the motions, oh yeah I'm going to be rescued, Blofeld's going to let me go, AGAIN! There wasn't really that moment in this one where you asked, "How's he going to get out of this one." And that is a mistake. Like I said before, a challenged Bond makes a better Bond and he wasn't challenged much at all here.

    M has had many funny little bits in the previous movies, but I think his funniest line is in this one here. The briskness and how he delivers "You're going to Holland," after Bond is going on about never visiting Africa before is just hilarious.

    And one more little comedy note has to be the pun Bond gives to Leiter when looking at Franks body. "Alimentary, Dr. Leiter." I had to look up that word after first watching, but once I understood, it has become on of my favorite lines. It's quite in depth compared to the one-liners in the past.


    After putting all the lack of adequate ending to Bond and Blofeld business behind me for a second, I've come to appreciate Diamonds for what it is, a funny enjoyable Bond film. This one in particular has a bit of sentimental value for me as well because this one is the first Bond my younger brother even saw. I'm pretty sure it's one his favourites and we quote it in conversations quite a lot. For instance, if one of us is alone in a room and the other is just entering we'll always say, "Making mudpies 007." Or we'll do the whole Klaus Hergescheimer bit, G section, checking radiation shields. He also does a killer Shirley Bassey impression and just screams "Diamonds are Forever" like her in the title song. We always have a lot of fun when watching this movie together, and because of it, I've grown to like it more and more over the years. But let's just say that On Her Majesty's Secret Service and Diamonds are Forever is the worst double bill family movie night, of any of the two Bonds to combine.

    6/10
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