Christie's Auction Alternatives...?
Bond Collectors' Weekends
Gainesville, Florida USAPosts: 1,884MI6 Agent
This week's Christie's 50 Years Of Bond auction includes exciting and inspiring items, and promotes charitable causes. It's been a pleasure for me to follow the proceedings online.
Still, like so many collectors, you might be wanting to participate but lack the hard currency. Feel free to add your suggested lots for my auction from your personal clearing house of exotic OO7 collectibles:
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51. ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE
- Correspondence written to Messrs Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman, producers of the official series of James Bond films. Mr Saltzman was active in production through 1977's The Spy Who Loved Me, whilst the Broccoli family has continued in stewarding the official Bond series from its inception 50 years ago with Dr. No in 1962 unto today and 2012's release of Skyfall. The note inscribed in blue ink in an unknown hand, Gents. It's over. It will all be like long hair and Easy Rider, baby. Action films like Bond are dead. Get yourself another boy. Regards, "G". Underneath, an unknown member of the production team has inscribed in black ink, Who are you kidding? You'll be doing cartoon voiceovers for crap's sake. Come back to the commissary and have some more of this delicious pasta I've made. Yours ever, "Bert R. Saxby" Underneath this mysterious and indecipherable encryption, the original hand has penned, You're right of course. Wait a minute. Diamonds Are Forever is going to be played for laughs? I thought I wanted vengeance for the Mrs and all that? How can I find my inner angst in a penthouse suite in Las Vegas? Forget it!
£1,500–50,000 US$0.35-$75.00++ ^^^ %%%% #####
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52. THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS
- Handkerchief filled with phlegm hawked from Grand L. Bush as used by Timothy Dalton. Mr Bush played "Hawking", a U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency specialist, in 1989's Bond opus, License To Kill. As seen on screen, one of his tense scenes opposite Timothy Dalton as James Bond ended with his line, "Look... you're in over your head. This is where it ends, Commander." On set during one retake of the scene, Mr Bush exploded in a tremendous sneeze, covering Mr Dalton in the results of his unfortunate bout with the flu despite the hot Key West weather. He then misspoke his line as "Look... you're in snot all over your head, Tim." The nonplussed and charming Mr Dalton received Mr Bush's silk handkerchief with a smile and wiped his head clean before nonchalantly shouting for makeup. The otherwise pristine lined handkerchief contains a patchwork of tiny stitching, red on black, with the initials G.L.B., and a statistically significant sample of Mr Dalton's DNA.
£15 shillings plus a ha-penny-£ More quid then you'll ever see in your natural life, boyo, I can say that US$1,000,000-$The G.N.P. of half of Western Europe plus the personal approximate income of a lot of hardworking Chinese people making handkerchiefs today++ ^^^ %%%% #####
++ Bidders, please note: Christie's Premium, aka "Stop! Hammer Time! ...Break It Down!" is 125% of final auction price, 37.23% of all personal non-Christie's auction sales and PayPal proceeds for eternity, your first born sons and 50% of your daughters, multiplied by the VAT for foreign, domestic, lunar and alien-origen customers only. Please note that by agreeing to so much as look at any of the lots for sale in our auctions wistfully with the desire to touch them implicitly requires you to register via the Official Secrets Act, as well as provide a thumbprint and retinal scan from Captain Jack Petacchi, up to two autographs at least as rare as Gert Frobe's if not rarer, any special ultimate trading card in any Bond pack--yes--even including halves of casino chips--you betcha--and a willingness to return the item should any of the next ten successive high bidders say, "Oh, it's for a good cause, then, isn't it? I'll bid one more time and include this keychain representing my silver DB5 parked outside with the valet."
^^^ Plomo y plata, Visa y Mastercard accepted. Rupees not accepted as we prefer cash. Eggs not included. First blood drawn from the torso gets all the prop diamonds. I heard that you're joining the 21st century and the new M is a woman. Now that you're done browsing this auction, perhaps you can get back to some plain, solid work. We didn't know you were a Leipidoterist either, but we can recommend a good oculist. Bond is back and better than ever, and Casino Royale '67 can now be sold in perpetuity with all new DVD sets.
%%%% If you've actually read this far, rest assured there are no Skyfall spoilers in this thread. Except that Bond is killed within the first reel. "Tired formula, not taking chances," my Aunt Fanny!
##### What is possibly left to say at this point, except that we're making fabulous francs and if there's a 60th Bond auction, we'll put Tina Turner's used underwear under the hammer if we need to. You think we don't remember that Mr Fleming chose Sotheby's for "The Property of a Lady" and then the mistake was repeated for Octopussy? Who do you think is laughing now? We're the stuff "Fo' Shizzle" as the Americans say, don't you know? Bond would NEVER be allowed to wear a clown suit and makeup in any movie in which we had an even INCIDENTAL association. We would never pander to endorsements either. Editing and desktop publishing services provided by Aston Martin, Heineken, Bollinger's, Harrod's, Toys "r" Us, BBC1-8, Austin Powers, and the committee to reelect the Comte du Beauchamp.
Still, like so many collectors, you might be wanting to participate but lack the hard currency. Feel free to add your suggested lots for my auction from your personal clearing house of exotic OO7 collectibles:
**
51. ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE
- Correspondence written to Messrs Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman, producers of the official series of James Bond films. Mr Saltzman was active in production through 1977's The Spy Who Loved Me, whilst the Broccoli family has continued in stewarding the official Bond series from its inception 50 years ago with Dr. No in 1962 unto today and 2012's release of Skyfall. The note inscribed in blue ink in an unknown hand, Gents. It's over. It will all be like long hair and Easy Rider, baby. Action films like Bond are dead. Get yourself another boy. Regards, "G". Underneath, an unknown member of the production team has inscribed in black ink, Who are you kidding? You'll be doing cartoon voiceovers for crap's sake. Come back to the commissary and have some more of this delicious pasta I've made. Yours ever, "Bert R. Saxby" Underneath this mysterious and indecipherable encryption, the original hand has penned, You're right of course. Wait a minute. Diamonds Are Forever is going to be played for laughs? I thought I wanted vengeance for the Mrs and all that? How can I find my inner angst in a penthouse suite in Las Vegas? Forget it!
£1,500–50,000 US$0.35-$75.00++ ^^^ %%%% #####
**
52. THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS
- Handkerchief filled with phlegm hawked from Grand L. Bush as used by Timothy Dalton. Mr Bush played "Hawking", a U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency specialist, in 1989's Bond opus, License To Kill. As seen on screen, one of his tense scenes opposite Timothy Dalton as James Bond ended with his line, "Look... you're in over your head. This is where it ends, Commander." On set during one retake of the scene, Mr Bush exploded in a tremendous sneeze, covering Mr Dalton in the results of his unfortunate bout with the flu despite the hot Key West weather. He then misspoke his line as "Look... you're in snot all over your head, Tim." The nonplussed and charming Mr Dalton received Mr Bush's silk handkerchief with a smile and wiped his head clean before nonchalantly shouting for makeup. The otherwise pristine lined handkerchief contains a patchwork of tiny stitching, red on black, with the initials G.L.B., and a statistically significant sample of Mr Dalton's DNA.
£15 shillings plus a ha-penny-£ More quid then you'll ever see in your natural life, boyo, I can say that US$1,000,000-$The G.N.P. of half of Western Europe plus the personal approximate income of a lot of hardworking Chinese people making handkerchiefs today++ ^^^ %%%% #####
++ Bidders, please note: Christie's Premium, aka "Stop! Hammer Time! ...Break It Down!" is 125% of final auction price, 37.23% of all personal non-Christie's auction sales and PayPal proceeds for eternity, your first born sons and 50% of your daughters, multiplied by the VAT for foreign, domestic, lunar and alien-origen customers only. Please note that by agreeing to so much as look at any of the lots for sale in our auctions wistfully with the desire to touch them implicitly requires you to register via the Official Secrets Act, as well as provide a thumbprint and retinal scan from Captain Jack Petacchi, up to two autographs at least as rare as Gert Frobe's if not rarer, any special ultimate trading card in any Bond pack--yes--even including halves of casino chips--you betcha--and a willingness to return the item should any of the next ten successive high bidders say, "Oh, it's for a good cause, then, isn't it? I'll bid one more time and include this keychain representing my silver DB5 parked outside with the valet."
^^^ Plomo y plata, Visa y Mastercard accepted. Rupees not accepted as we prefer cash. Eggs not included. First blood drawn from the torso gets all the prop diamonds. I heard that you're joining the 21st century and the new M is a woman. Now that you're done browsing this auction, perhaps you can get back to some plain, solid work. We didn't know you were a Leipidoterist either, but we can recommend a good oculist. Bond is back and better than ever, and Casino Royale '67 can now be sold in perpetuity with all new DVD sets.
%%%% If you've actually read this far, rest assured there are no Skyfall spoilers in this thread. Except that Bond is killed within the first reel. "Tired formula, not taking chances," my Aunt Fanny!
##### What is possibly left to say at this point, except that we're making fabulous francs and if there's a 60th Bond auction, we'll put Tina Turner's used underwear under the hammer if we need to. You think we don't remember that Mr Fleming chose Sotheby's for "The Property of a Lady" and then the mistake was repeated for Octopussy? Who do you think is laughing now? We're the stuff "Fo' Shizzle" as the Americans say, don't you know? Bond would NEVER be allowed to wear a clown suit and makeup in any movie in which we had an even INCIDENTAL association. We would never pander to endorsements either. Editing and desktop publishing services provided by Aston Martin, Heineken, Bollinger's, Harrod's, Toys "r" Us, BBC1-8, Austin Powers, and the committee to reelect the Comte du Beauchamp.
Seven (007) James Bond Tours! Mission: Mexico!