Shakespeare's Bond: Work area (All welcome!)

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  • chrisisallchrisisall Western Mass, USAPosts: 9,058MI6 Agent
    Yes, very nice! :))
    Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool.
    #1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
    Can anyone think of more (and funnier!) lines for the Q scene?

    Act 2, Scene 3. The Old Wizard’s Lair.
    Old Wizard: Thine attention I crave, Naught Naught Seven. This girdle for thine hose thou shalt now take.
    Sir James: But not this sustenance?
    Old Wizard: Mine meal thou shalt not eat, Naught Naught Seven.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    :)) :))
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • chrisisallchrisisall Western Mass, USAPosts: 9,058MI6 Agent
    Barbel wrote:
    Fascinating. -{
    Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool.
    #1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
    This is the opening bit only, by TB2, C&D, and me- anyone fancy writing some more?

    YE GILDED EYE

    Act 1, Scene 1. A fortress high atop a mountain, below a lake, below a mountain, on Eastern shores.
    (Sir James doth drop like the stone, but in good time is saved by the rappelling cannon, a miraculous invention.)
    (A knave sits on the throne)
    Sir James: Cry prithee, good sir, mayhap I forgot to knock.
    (Sir James takes leave and wanders the corridor. A figure approaches)
    Sir James: Alas, I am all alone.
    Sir Alexander: In truth, Sir James, each man is but an island. Precede me, Naught Naught Seven.
    Sir James: Nay, thou must precede me, Naught Naught Six.
    (Enter Baron Ouromov and his men)
    Baron Ouromov: Good sirs, show thyselves! Lest ye forget, 'tis madness to attempt escape.
    Sir Alexander: Doest thy will, Sir James! To Hades thou must send them! For Albion, Dame Miles and St George!
    (Sir James departs upon a winged chariot.)

    Intermission. Statues are laid siege by unclothed maidens. A woman from across the sea sings.

    Act 2, Scene 2. A gaming house.
    Sir James: I am he who is called Bond, James Bond. Three passions do we share.
    Countess Onatopp: Truly I hope that thine talent lies with the third, Sir James.
    Sir James: My lady, one rises to meet such challenge, like a serpent unto the breast of Eve. Yet may it please thee to answer most fully: is thine accent St Georgian?
    Countess Onatopp: Dost thou know it?
    Sir James: Verily, in my salad days I did but drop in, yet cannon out, heheh.
    Countess Onatopp: Tis a land of opportunity.
    Sir James: Yet, thine ambassador has the wrong licence on his hearse.
    Countess Onatopp: His hearse?
    Sir James: My kingdom for his hearse.
    Countess Onatopp: Farewell Sir James, methinks thou'st a knave in chariot licensing.
    (The Countess exits)

    Act 2, Scene 2. The throne room of Dame Miles.
    William Of Tanner (Squire of the Lego Fortress): Indeed it pains me greatly good Sir James, that the Sovereign Witch of Calculation decreed your wisdom and cunning were forestalled.
    Dame Miles: Sayest thee?
    William Of Tanner: Nay, nay...
    Dame Miles: In council of toxic judgement, I will seek an audience and narration of my ward and brethren should it please me master squire.
    Sir James: N’er in thine leisure have I seen, thee, Moneypenny, most beguiling you are.
    Moneypenny: To linger on great calamity I shall not, Sir James, in faith with a gentleman did I have an assignation.
    Sir James: Thou do crush me, Moneypenny.
    Dame Miles: Thou lovest me not, Naught Naught Seven, my ways are not thine. A mere tallyman am I, a counter of beans.
    Sir James: I have thought this, my liege.
    Dame Miles: Thine charms upon me are wasted. Thou be naught but an antiquated dragon, who thinkest I lack the balls for mine job as does this statuette for Best Supporting Actress, yet to thy death I shall send thee with no hesitation.
  • chrisisallchrisisall Western Mass, USAPosts: 9,058MI6 Agent
    :)) The last line was awesome. :D
    Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool.
    #1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    I agree :D
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
    Two more short scenes from "Ye Gilded Eye", and that's all I have. I could write more, but I'm struggling to make it funny. I would welcome assistance/input with this one... or indeed if anyone wants to start another one!

    Act 2, Scene 3. The Old Wizard’s Lair.
    Old Wizard: Thine attention I crave, Naught Naught Seven. This girdle for thine hose thou shalt now take.
    Sir James: But not this sustenance?
    Old Wizard: Nay ‘tis mine repast!

    Act 4, Scene 1. A gaol.
    Tsar Mischkin: Sit, I prithee, Sir James, the manner of thine death I must consider.
    Sir James: No tittle-tattle hath thee, little to pass the time of day
    Tsar Mischkin: I seek ye Gilded Eye, impart to me where it shall be found.
    Countess Natalya: As youngbloods at play thou art, cease forthwith.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,697MI6 Agent
    :)) :)) :)) I love these. :D
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • chrisisallchrisisall Western Mass, USAPosts: 9,058MI6 Agent
    Very funny. :))
    Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool.
    #1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
    So far, we've done

    PHYSICIAN, NAY
    HE OF THE GILDED FINGER
    THOU TWICE SHALT LIVE
    LONG LIVE THE GEMSTONES
    THE YEOMAN WITH THE GILDED CROSSBOW
    THE LIGHT OF DAY THAT SURVIVES
    BREATH SHALL NE'ER LEAVE THE COMING DAY

    Incomplete:
    YE GILDED EYE (about 75%)
    THE ROYAL GAMBLING TAVERN (about 50%)
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    Good Work {[]
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,356MI6 Agent
    Lord Barbel, verily these art hysterical! " as long as the curl matches the corset..." :)) :)) :))
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,356MI6 Agent
    Dame Miles: In the sand I wanteth thee to bury thine head, Naught Naught Seven. And ne’er enter mine bedchamber again!
    Sir James: Ne'er shall I, mine leige, until the sky doth fall.
    :)) :)) :))
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
    Thanks, guys. I'm really stuck with the ending of "Ye Gilded Eye", though, and can't come up with the last scene or two.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,697MI6 Agent
    " A Welshman sings lustily " :)) :)) :)) {[]
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,356MI6 Agent
    :)) :)) :))

    Marquess Patricia: No nurse am I, whatever Absolutely_Cart doth say...

    The bard himself compares not to thine musings, Lord Barbel -{
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • ACACIA_AVENUEACACIA_AVENUE UKPosts: 1,748MI6 Agent
    I have really enjoyed reading these {[]
    Absolutely brilliant {[] well done to everybody who have taken the time to create these masterpieces {[]
    I would pay good money to see these performed on stage by the 'Barbel Amateur Dramatic Society' {[]
    One of us smells like a tart's handkerchief.
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,477MI6 Agent
    I'd not pay to see TP in tutu - no matter which colour!!!! X-(
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,697MI6 Agent
    Trust Higgins, A tutu in Shakespeare ! It's tights dear boy. ;) and I like
    Errol Flynn need at least three pairs on to hide my massive ......... Talent ! :))
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • chrisisallchrisisall Western Mass, USAPosts: 9,058MI6 Agent
    "With that accent?" :)) :)) :)) :))
    Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool.
    #1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
    Glad you approve, chrisisall. It works either with Lazenby's accent or Baker's!
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,697MI6 Agent
    Barbel wrote : " ... most wondrous music doth play."
    Indeed it does ! -{ -{ -{ -{ -{ -{
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 32,235Chief of Staff
  • chrisisallchrisisall Western Mass, USAPosts: 9,058MI6 Agent
    Sweetmeat... :))
    Dalton & Connery rule. Brozz was cool.
    #1.TLD/LTK 2.TND 3.GF 4.GE 5.DN 6.FYEO 7.FRWL 8.TMWTGG 9.TWINE 10.YOLT/QOS
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