(Spoilers for NTTD) Shakespeare's Bond: Work area (All welcome!)

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  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,742MI6 Agent
    -{ They do add a bit of atmosphere, and in my opinion. Dalton was
    Born to play these period characters. His face just suits " Olde England".
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,354MI6 Agent
    I've just reread some of these and they are genius! :)) sadly the last time I ready any Norse mythology- type things was at school (Marvel's Thor comics) - does that count? :#

    image.jpg
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 19,990MI6 Agent
    Yes, in the same way reading The Hulk teaches you physics :))
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    It's not too difficult to find pics of the UK actors in Shakespearean (or similar) costumes but trickier with the European or US cast. I'm looking for pics of Gert Frobe, Topol, any of the Leiter actors, and several of the actresses- in fact, anyone who doesn't have a picture included. Again, it's not too difficult to find a pic of a Bond actress in varying states of undress but harder to find one in the appropriate costume. Any help appreciated.
    I've been adding lines or scenes as they occur to me- if anyone has ideas just let me know!
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,742MI6 Agent
    By way of a request, ( in full knowelge that people do have other things to do )
    But ....... any chance of an original treatment of SPECTRE ?
    we have an opening with a fight upon a winged beast, a bit of "Macbeth" type
    political ambition and a knight riding off on a fair maid... sorry with a fair maid :)
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Hmm, tricky- there's not enough dialogue in the PTS to parody, for example. Still, I'm willing to give it a go if I can get a bit of help from your good self and anyone willing to bash out a scene or two...?
  • James SuzukiJames Suzuki New ZealandPosts: 2,405MI6 Agent
    I might be able to bash out a scene or two.
    Will have to read the other Shakespeare Bond stories to get a feel for the writing.
    “The scent and smoke and sweat of a casino are nauseating at three in the morning. "
    -Casino Royale, Ian Fleming
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Great, I'll start work soon then!
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Okay, first thoughts, first draft:

    Intermission. Maidens dance with a cephalopod. An Englishman sings squeakily.
    Act 2, Scene 1. The throne room of Sir Gareth.
    Sir Gareth: In such foreign places thou hast no mission, Naught Naught Seven. An account of thine intent I doth require with no delay.
    Sir James: No mission had I, Sire, ‘twas merely my leisure.
    Sir Gareth: From thine duty I doth relieve thee, with immediate effect.
    (Enter Lord Max Moriarty)
    Lord Max: I prithee, forgive mine interruption.
    Sir Gareth: No interruption hast thou caused. Naught Naught Seven, pray greet Lord Max Moriarty to whom high authority hast been granted.
    Sir James: Hail to thee, Lord Max, may I address thee as a “C”?
    Lord Max: Nay, nay, thou may call me “Max”.
    Sir James: Nay, to me thou shalt ever be a C.
    Moneypenny: I believe thou art finished, Sir James.
    Sir James: Nay, for merely getting started am I. To my domicile thou must make haste, Moneypenny.

    Act 2, Scene 3.
    The Young Wizard’s lair.
    Young Wizard: ‘Tis most pleasant to see thee, Naught Naught Seven, most pleasant. Behold this magnificent carriage, fashioned by the DB5th Earl of Aston and the Viscount Martin. For thee it was intended, but alas, Sir Gareth hath decreed it for Naught Naught Nine.
    William of Tanner: Sir Gareth hath also decreed that in thine crystal ball thou shalt know the whereabouts of Naught Naught Seven at all times, Young Wizard.
    Young Wizard: Most surely it shall be done, but alack this cannot be till the rooster has crowed one time.
    (Sir James doth look exceedingly unhappy)
    Young Wizard:....two times.
    (Sir James smiles)
    Young Wizard: A boon I have for thee, Naught Naught Seven, behold this enchanted timepiece!
    Sir James: Pray tell, Young Wizard, in what manner be it enchanted?
    Young Wizard: Exceeding loud be its chiming...
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Ok, that's it started! :))

    We need a scene with Moneypenny at Bond's lodgings, Sir James and the Widow Sciarra, the boardroom meeting where we meet Yeoman Hinx and of course the Comte de Blofeld, Naught Naught Seven's chat with Ye Pale King which leads to Maid Madeleine, among others.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Act 4, Scene 1. A place of medicine, high atop a mountain.
    Maid Madeleine: These draperies I shalt close, lest ye find the view distracting.
    Sir James: This I had not noticed.
    Maid Madeleine: Thou hast not thine scroll completed, Sir James, forsooth I must ask thee some questions. Dost thee exercise?
    Sir James: When it has to be done, this I doth do.
    Maid Madeleine: And doth thine duty bring thee stress?
    Sir James: It has been known to.
    Maid Madeleine: Doth thee partake of strong beverages?
    Sir James: Alack, too often this doth occur.
    Maid Madeleine: And thou hast not enscribed here thine occupation, wherefore is that?
    Sir James: Enscribed, ‘tis not a pleasant thing. I doth bring death.
    Maid Madeleine: From my father thou hast been sent!
    Sir James: Nay, sweet maid, alas thine father ist dead.
    Maid Madeleine: Leave me at once, I wish no part of this.

    Steward: Mayhap thou wouldst care for a beverage, good sir?
    Sir James: Most verily. Bring me mead, let it be shaken and not stirred.
    Steward: Forgive me, for here strong beverages are not served.
    Sir James: For this place I now carry great affection....
    Young Wizard: Steward, bring Sir James a health-giving flavoured milk.
    Sir James: Nay, steward, throw such a drink into the privy.
    Young Wizard: Thou must return with me, Naught Naught Seven, for I am in service of Sir Gareth and must give sustenance to my two cats.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,742MI6 Agent
    In an exterior courtyard Moneypenny a most beautiful English maiden approaches Sir James ........

    "Good Knight, the Queen's guards hath given up this treasure chest from thy former castle"
    "Bringeth t anon to mine own new castle, at evensong"
    Later at the abode of Sir James .........

    MP "Hast thou just acquired, these new lodgings"
    Sir James " nay !"
    MP " All the yoemen of her Majesty, converse that thy are vanquished ?"
    Sir James " And what doth thee bethink ?"
    MP " I bethinks thou art just at the starteth of a new quest !"
    Sir James, reveals a new tapestry, from his former most noble lady.
    Togeth'r those gathered heareth h'r voice .......
    "Sir James, my most valiant knight. I wish thou to endith the earthly toil of a most
    Vile nave, And misseth not the blaggards burial. "
    Later by torchlight Sir James opens the treasure chest from his family castle,
    and muses on its contents........
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    :D Nicely done, TP!
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 19,990MI6 Agent
    Yes, well done. But perhaps Maid Moneypenny should express her delight of having to drag the treasure chest from the throne room to sir Bond's lodgings onstead of just showing it to him there? :D
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,742MI6 Agent
    It's very much a work in progress, and any amendments/changes/improvements would
    Be eagerly encouraged and welcomed -{
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Act 3, Scene 4.
    The lair of Ye Pale King
    Pale King: Though e'er I have known that death would wear a familiar face, truly n'er did I think 'twould be thine.
    Sir James: Talk we must, Pale King, for thine title did arise at a meeting I did attend.
    Pale King: Most flattering it is that thine masters in Albion still do refer to me.
    Sir James: ‘Twas not in Albion, but in Rome. Behold this ring.
    Pale King: Thou art but a kite adrift in a hurricane, Sir James.
    Sir James: Thou must tell me where I canst find thine leader.
    Pale King: Everywhere he ist! He doth drink mead with thine friends, he doth sup with thine family, he ist in bed with thine lover!
    Sir James: Protect thee from him I shalt.
    Pale King: Nay, thou must protect mine daughter- she is in a place of medicine, high atop a mountain. Farewell, Sir James! (Dies at his own hand)
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 19,990MI6 Agent
    In the end scene sir bond should scuttle Blofeld's ship with a nail file or some other suitably powerful weapon. :D
    Sir Bond and maid Madeleine should visit The Atlantian Inn
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Number24 wrote:
    In the end scene sir bond should scuttle Blofeld's ship with a nail file or some other suitably powerful weapon. :D

    Oh, I like that! :D
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Anyone fancy having a bash at the Spectre boardroom scene? Mickey Mouse, cuckoo, Yeoman Hinx, and the Comte de Blofeld?

    Or Naught Naught Seven meets the Widow Sciarra?

    Or the ending, as suggested by Number 24 above- Sir James pursues the Comte in boats down the Thames, sinking him with something absurd like a nail file? Then has to pick between Maid Madeleine and Sir Gareth, before riding off in his carriage which the Young Wizard has just repaired...?
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,742MI6 Agent
    Exterior of Italian castle, sir James alights from his Aston Martin carriage and approaches
    A doorway ......

    Italian Guard " Unfold yourself, asshole. who is't art thee?"
    Sir James " I'm mickey mouse, who is't art thee ?"

    Sir James enters as a gathering begins......... A female apothecary is speaking .....
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Chrisisall, Charmed & Dangerous, Thunderbird 2, you want to to chip in and help us out here?
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Exterior of Italian castle, sir James alights from his Aston Martin carriage and approaches
    A doorway ......

    Italian Guard " Unfold yourself, asshole. who is't art thee?"
    Sir James " I'm mickey mouse, who is't art thee ?"

    Sir James enters as a gathering begins......... A female apothecary is speaking .....

    Apothecary: In matters of business I must report great success, to all our endeavours has been granted profit. Our production of 5000 fake little fingers of the Lord to be sold to the sick and infirm as a unique holy relic has met with great success.
    (Enter the Comte de Blofeld, with attendants)
    Comte: I prithee, do continue.
    Apothecary: ...though the loss of Signor Sciarra must be addressed by us forthwith, his mission with regard to Ye Pale King must be continued.
    Comte: I do seek one who would such a trust undertake.
    Doomed Man: Henceforth I shall be thine choice, for no better can be found.
    Comte: In this room are there those who would object?
    (Enter Yeoman Hinx)
    Doomed Man: Oh, shi.... (He ist slain by Yeoman Hinx)
    Comte: Yeoman Hinx, thou shalt carry on the mission of Signor Sciarra regarding Ye Pale King. But hold, we doth have a visitor this day. Hello, Sir James- cuckoo!
    (Sir James looks around in confusion, as do the audience)
    Italian Guard: I bear greetings, Topolino.
    (Sir James slays the guard and exits, pursued by Yeoman Hinx)
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Act 3, Scene 1. A funeral.
    Sir James: Widow Sciarra, with thee I must have words.
    Widow Sciarra: And what ist thy name, sir?
    Sir James: I am he who is called Bond, James Bond.
    Widow Sciarra: Canst thou not see that I grieve?
    Sir James: Nay, though thine immense hotness be readily apparent.
    Widow Sciarra: Mine husband ist dead, be thou his slayer?
    Sir James: Yea, it is so. Thou shalt dine with me forthwith, and impart unto me thine husband’s business.
    Widow Sciarra: Nay, to thee I shalt tell nothing. Thou hast mine husband slain, and me in danger’s path hast thou placed, yet thou seekest mine help. Wherefore should I help thee?
    (Sir James kisses the Widow)
    Widow Sciarra: Okay, fair enough, I will tell thee...
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    YE SPECTRE
    Act 1, Scene 1. A foreign place. Enter Sir James with a comely wench.
    Wench: But, Sir James, wherefore must we wear the habit of those who are deceased?
    Sir James: ‘Tis the day when the dead are alive, yet the opposite I must make so.
    (Enter Signor Sciarra)
    Sir James: Hold, sir!
    (They struggle. Signor Sciarra boards a winged chariot, pursued by Sir James. They struggle more. Sir James emerges victorious, clutching Signor Sciarra’s ring)
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    Act 6, Scene 3. A villain’s lair.
    Comte: Welcome to my easily-inflammable base. Wherefore hast thou come here, Naught Naught Seven?
    Sir James: To slay thee ist mine intent.
    Comte: Nay, thou hast come here to die!
    Sir James: ‘Tis merely a matter of perspective, Graf Oberhauser.. or is it Beech? A little confused am I.
    Comte: Well, this we would not want. I am the Comte de Blofeld, and I am your brother, Mr Powers, er, I mean Sir James. Now let me strap you to this easily-escapable torture chair.
    (Enter Scott de Blofeld)
    Scott: Wherefore dost thou not merely slay him, father?
    Comte: Ssh!
    Scott: But...
    Comte: Sshh! Here have I a big bag of sshh!
    (Exit Scott, grumbling)
    Comte: Now, Sir James, I shall subject you to a most painful torture.
    Maid Madeleine: Nay! Let it not be so!
    Sir James: Worry ye not, fair maiden, take my enchanted timepiece and all will be well.
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,742MI6 Agent
    :)) :)) :))
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 33,451Chief of Staff
    We still need:

    Sir James and Maid Madeleine and a mouse, finding where the villain's lair is.

    Sir James chases the Comte down the Thames, sinking his boat ridiculously easily with, eg, a nailfile.

    Plus any other bits anyone can think of, plus of course any amendments/extra jokes/improvements etc that come to mind.
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 19,990MI6 Agent
    Barbel wrote:
    Exterior of Italian castle, sir James alights from his Aston Martin carriage and approaches
    A doorway ......

    Italian Guard " Unfold yourself, asshole. who is't art thee?"
    Sir James " I'm mickey mouse, who is't art thee ?"

    Sir James enters as a gathering begins......... A female apothecary is speaking .....

    Apothecary: In matters of business I must report great success, to all our endeavours has been granted profit.
    (Enter the Comte de Blofeld, with attendants)
    Comte: I prithee, do continue.
    Apothecary: ...though the loss of Signor Sciarra must be addressed by us forthwith, his mission with regard to Ye Pale King must be continued.
    Comte: I do seek one who would such a trust undertake.
    Doomed Man: Henceforth I shall be thine choice, for no better can be found.
    Comte: In this room are there those who would object?
    (Enter Yeoman Hinx)
    Doomed Man: Oh, shi.... (He ist slain by Yeoman Hinx)
    Comte: Yeoman Hinx, thou shalt carry on the mission of Signor Sciarra regarding Ye Pale King. But hold, we doth have a visitor this day. Hello, Sir James- cuckoo!
    (Sir James looks around in confusion, as do the audience)
    Italian Guard: I bear greetings, Topolino.
    (Sir James slays the guard and exits, pursued by Yeoman Hinx)

    Why not let the female apothecary mention some medival version of the evil plans of SPECTRE, such as producing 5000 fake little fingers of the Lord to be sold to the sick and infirm as a unique holy relic?

    Later, when Bond and Madeleine get there , some comment should be made about the Comte's secret lair being made out of highly flamable materials :D
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,742MI6 Agent
    Sadly I'm at work all day so it will be late this evening
    Before I can add anything. :#
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 19,990MI6 Agent
    I'm very disapointed to learn that you prioritize work over AJB :o
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