Well, there are lots of things happening in in NTTD that would cause Roger to raise and eyebrow or two and make a quip.
Let's start with Bond discovering someone else has his 007 number - and it's a woman!
What would he say?
Well, we all know that his powers of observation do him justice so probably simply "A woman!"
How about: "Double-oh-seven? Hmmm...how about we make a 14?"
Yes. There is nothing else in NTTD Moore would've been shocked or surprised by, so why continue? 😉
he would have been shocked to wake up next to the same woman he was with at the end of the last adventure
Unless they were twins!
yes that would seem more normal in his world
"I know last night I said Nice Pair! but this is ridiculous"
"no James, you misunderstand, I'm not my own identical twin, I'm still the same woman from last night, and I thought maybe we could have a talk about feelings..."
MooreBond smacks head as if a wire's loose "no, I'm sorry, you're still not making any sense. Maybe your twin could explain it better? or... you could both try to explain it to me at the same time!" moves over to leave room for one more in the bed
And what would MooreBond have said when he discovered Paloma didn't intend to sleep whith him when she started unbuttoning his shirt, but just wanted to help him change into a tux?
"Paloma, my dear, you do know that in Cuba one should not prepare a meal unless one is intending to dine, don't you?"
"Those splits speak with a forked tongue then?"
What would he say? Easy:
"How the hell did I get here?"
Madeleine (tearfully): "There must be a way. We just need more time."
Bond (raising eyebrow): "Of course. There's no sense going out half-cocked."
this was a good game, i was hoping thered be more answers.
it could be expanded into a complete Imaginary Playe
what's MooreBond say when introduced to his daughter? I bet Madeleine would find a half dozen different ways to deny the paternity without MooreBond even once taking the hint
Madeleine: She's not yours!
MooreBond: (turns to audience and arches eyebrow) Well obviously not, I may be a letch but I do have some limits! But you know what they say, little girls get bigger every day! (turns to Mathilde and tweaks her nose) How about you come back in, oh, a dozen years, and I promise I'll purchase you an iced lolly?
Mathilde: I wike ice lollies!
Madeleine: No, thats not what I mean. Let me put it this way. You will not have to pay for her university tuition!
MooreBond: Well I should think not, who ever heard of a woman going to university? hahaha! She should make some rich man a fine mistress by then.
Madeleine: !!??!! I've got a doctorate in psychology!!!
MooreBond: (turns to audience and arches eyebrow) These womenfolk say the darnedest things!
Madeleine: ... and as for child support I certainly don't need it because ...
(and loop until Safin shows up)
"This month is April. Nine months that's ....."
(MooreBond and Madeleine have spent most of twenty minutes in a bullet-riddled Aston Martin, surrounded by murderous thugs firing at them from mere inches away)
Madeleine: I have something I must tell you right now!
MooreBond: Darling, you told everyone in our hotel last night how you really felt, at least a dozen times, all night long. That's why the other guests all gave me thumbs up at breakfast, if you didn't notice.
(more bullets strike the glass)
Madeleine: James they're going to kill us! Please do something! I'm begging you!
MooreBond: Oh all right, if you absolutely insist darling (pulls cord, releasing Union Jack parachute inside vehicle, filling every cubic inch and covering most of their faces. Even the minions outside are confused by what Bond has attempted, and stop firing)
Madeleine: (Madeleine pulls away Union Jack fabric a few inches to speak) er, I think you were meant to pivot the car 360degrees on one tire, firing the machine guns indiscriminately in all directions, killing minions and civilians alike
MooreBond: I do believe you're mistaken, one must remember I'm the nonviolent Bond who abhors guns.
(across the courtyard, the one remaining civilian who has not fled or been shot down by stray bullets doublechecks his bottle, Then unexpectedly a trickle of cheap red wine starts dribbling from a hole in his stomach, then spurts in a steady stream, then another, then another and another, til he looks like a red water sprinkler. There was so many stray bullets bouncing off that bulletproof glass for twenty minutes straight a few must have hit even him! He looks at the fountains of cheap red wine spurting from his belly in disbelief, decides to triple check the bottle just to be absolutely sure, and whut-the-hell, keeps drinking)
"I don't know what to say ....... this has never happened to me before, I swear!"
"Now I'm under you"
As a footnote to this:
What Brosnan would have said:
"Check the replay. You'll find his dead."
What Dalton would have said:
"Then I guess it's a farewell to arms..."
What Connery would have said:
"Just goes to show... nobody's indestructible!"
What Lazenby would have said:
"This never happened to we other fellas!"
What would sir Roger (or any of the other Bonds for that matter) say when SPECTRE was being killed around him at Blofeld's bunga-bunga party?
Good ol' Rog could say something like "mmm...I remember once in Jamaica many years ago I met someone and you remind me of her...", upon which 007 might retort "yeah, my grandma".