Imaginary Phone Calls

BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 31,521Chief of Staff
IMAGINARY PHONE CALLS

1981
Secretary: Brosnan residence... Certainly, Mr Broccoli, I’ll just see if- argh!
Brosnan: Why good evening, Mr Broccoli, your reputation precedes you. My name is Brosnan... Pierce Brosnan. I was just enjoying a vodka martini, shaken not stirred.
Broccoli: Yes, thank you Mr Brosnan. Is your wife there?
Brosnan: ...I’ll just go fetch her.

1969
Lazenby: Hi mother, it’s me. Guess what? I got the job! They believed me! ... No, no, I can handle it. What could possibly go wrong?

1969
Barry: Hi, Cubby, it’s John. I’ve just heard the title of the next movie- are you sure about that?
Broccoli: Yes, John, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Is that a problem?
Barry: Well, it isn’t very musical is it? I mean, I got a song out of “You Only Live Twice” no problem, and “Goldfinger” too, though “Thunderball” did give me a bit of work. I just don’t see this one as a goer.
Broccoli: I see your point, John, just come up with something.
Barry: How long have I got?
Broccoli: All the time in the world.
Barry: ...ah....

1965
McClory: Oh, hi Cubby... and Harry too... so, you agree to my terms? Sure, sure, this is a one-off... No, no, of course I wouldn’t...

1985
Moore: Hello? Ah, hi Cubby, how are you?.... No, not again, I’m getting a bit too... No, seriously, Cubby, I think I’ve done enough and it might look a bit.... How much? .... No, really I don’t think.... HOW much did you say?... Well, ok, I’ll see you on Monday.

2006
MGW: Hello, Pierce, it’s Michael... Yes, fine, and the family are all fine too... Look, Barbara and I have been thinking that it might be time to find a new... Now, hold on one minute.... really, there’s no need to use that kind of...

2003
Secretary: Hello, Eon Productions Ltd.
Tamahori: Hi, can I speak to Barbara or Michael please?
Secretary: Who should I say is calling?
Tamahori: It’s Lee Tamahori... Hello? Hello? Damn, not again.

1983
Barry: Cubby, you can NOT be serious.
Broccoli: Why wouldn’t I be? What’s wrong with “Octopussy”?
Barry: I am NOT writing you a song called “Octopussy”! Monty Norman would die laughing.
Broccoli: That’s what you said about “Moonraker” and you managed that!

2012
MGW: Hello, Sir Sean, this is Michael Wilson ... yes, we've met, I was with my stepfather Cub.... hello?

1964
Hamilton: Hi Cubby, it’s Guy- have you got an actor for the title role yet?
Broccoli: Sure, Guy, I hired that German fella Gert Frobe.
Hamilton: He sure looks right, but are you certain he can handle the dialogue?
Broccoli: No problem, Guy, his agent says he can speak English.

1997
MGW: Hi John, it's Michael. We'd like you to do the music for our next picture Tomorrow Never Dies.
Barry: Sure thing, Michael, I'll start on the theme song right away.
MGW: Ah... we only want you to write the score, the marketing people want Sheryl Crow to write and sing the song.
Barry: I don't mind who you get to sing it, but I should be writing it- you know, like I did for GF, TB, YOLT, DAF etc etc.
MGW: No, she gets to write the song.
Barry: Then let me give you David Arnold's phone number....

1962
Fleming: Hello, Anne darling it's me- yes, the deal is signed. Harry Saltzman and a fellow called Cabbage or Sprout or some vegetable anyway.... No, they couldn't get Cary Grant, it's some Scottish chap.
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Comments

  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,697MI6 Agent
    :)) :)) :))
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Absolutely_CartAbsolutely_Cart NJ/NYC, United StatesPosts: 1,740MI6 Agent
    As I posted in the QoS thread, the phone call between Forster and Eon about the movie needing a gunbarrel sequence would be funny.
  • Sir MilesSir Miles The Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 25,314Chief of Staff
    I wonder how many of those *imaginary* phone calls are near the truth :))

    Good work, Barbel -{
    YNWA 97
  • welshboy78welshboy78 Posts: 9,904MI6 Agent
    {[]
    Instagram - bondclothes007
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 31,521Chief of Staff
    Thanks guys!


    As I posted in the QoS thread, the phone call between Forster and Eon about the movie needing a gunbarrel sequence would be funny.

    Then repost it here, AC, plus any more you can think up.
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,407MI6 Agent
    Very nice, Barbel! {[]

    Another interesting phone call would be when Cubby was phoning Connery for the role in DAF.
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • Alec 006Alec 006 Sydney, AustraliaPosts: 211MI6 Agent
    Higgins wrote:
    Very nice, Barbel! {[]

    Another interesting phone call would be when Cubby was phoning Connery for the role in DAF.

    Absolutely Higgins -{ I can hear it now...

    1971
    Broccoli: Hi Sean, it's Cubby... No, no, don't be like that... Why would I need something? Can't old friends just call for a catch up? Although now you mention it...
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
    Oscar Wilde
  • Alec 006Alec 006 Sydney, AustraliaPosts: 211MI6 Agent
    Also how about...

    1983
    McClory: Hi Sean, it's Kevin. Have you spoken to Cubby lately?... No? Good. How about Roger?... No? Even better. Perhaps best you don't... Listen how do fancy a little trip down memory lane?
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
    Oscar Wilde
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 31,521Chief of Staff
    :)) :)) Nice ones, Alec!

    1981
    Glen: Hi Cubby, how are you?.... The pool scene? Sure, I’ve just finished shooting it- looks real good, lots of pretty girls in bikinis, just the way you like it... Oh yeah, of course I remember her- the brunette with the big... She’s what? She’s a... Well, she sure didn’t look like a... No, I’ve shot it already, we can’t go back and do it again... I’ll see what I can do with the edit.

    1967
    Gilbert: Hi Ken, it’s Lewis... fine, fine, thanks. It’s about that drawing you sent me. I think you’ve made a mistake in the scale, it seems to be about four miles wide and three miles high, haha, don’t you mean... No mistake, I see... It really IS that big. Well, also, this ring thing looks a little like a monorail, haha, I was just wondering what it’s really meant to be?... Oh, it really IS a monorail. Okay... Now, about this rocket...

    1977
    Gilbert: Hi Ken, it’s Lewis... fine, fine, thanks. It’s about that drawing you sent me. I think you’ve made a mistake in the scale, it seems to be about four miles wide and three miles high, haha, don’t you mean... No mistake, I see... It really IS that big. Well, also, this ring thing looks a little like a monorail, haha, I was just wondering what it’s really meant to be?... Oh, it really IS a monorail. Okay... Now, about this submarine...

    1979
    Gilbert: Hi Ken, it’s Lewis... fine, fine, thanks. It’s about that drawing you sent me....

    2012
    Barbara Broccoli: Oh, hi Judi, how are you?... Yes, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and we’ll go over the script.... What’s that? The next one? Ah, yes, I’d been meaning to talk to you about that...

    1995
    MGW: Oh, hi Tim, how are you?... No, I’m taking his calls now. Anyway, the script’s about ready and... you what? But you... but... oh, I see, bye Tim.
    Tall Secretary: Ein problem, Herr Wilson?
    MGW: Hm, not necessarily – have you still got that guy Brosnan’s number?
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    Very nice {[]
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,697MI6 Agent
    2001

    Barbara Broccoli : " Have you lined up the stunt team for the parachute surfing scene ?"
    Lee Tamahori : " Don't need them. This CGI is fantastic, we can do it all with computers "
    BB : " Are you sure we're known for great stunt work !"
    LT : " I promise you Barbara, this will created a scene, Fans will be talking about for years !"
    BB : " Well if you're sure "
    LT : " Trust me! ........ By the way Barbara, what size do you take in a shoe ?". ;)
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,407MI6 Agent
    Barbel wrote:
    :))
    1995
    MGW: Oh, hi Tim, how are you?... No, I’m taking his calls now. Anyway, the script’s about ready and... you what? But you... but... oh, I see, bye Tim.
    Secretary: A problem, Mr Wilson?
    MGW: Hm, not necessarily – have you still got that guy Brosnan’s number?

    :)) :)) :)) LMAO - however I had hope that you'd work myself and mentioning tears into the conversation :v
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 31,521Chief of Staff
    I've made some amendments... :D
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,407MI6 Agent
    {[] {[] {[] thanks! :D
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • ACACIA_AVENUEACACIA_AVENUE UKPosts: 1,735MI6 Agent
    {[] {[] Absolutely brilliant Barbel .... well done :)) :))

    Loved the 'a fellow called Cabbage or Sprout or some vegetable anyway' :)) :))
    One of us smells like a tart's handkerchief.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 31,521Chief of Staff
    Glad you like this! :)
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    Keep these up :)
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,218MI6 Agent
    :)) :)) :)) Brilliant!
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,218MI6 Agent
    2006
    Barbara: Dan, we just love what you've been doing! ... No, I'm sure the public will love you too... Look, we've done this before, just relax... Well, the best way is really to introduce you via a press call... Yes, we were thinking that you should appear in true Bond style, maybe burst onto the scene on a speedboat... No, no need to get your haircut, it'll be fine, what's that? no they'll give probably you a hi-vis life jacket for a coupla seconds ... I tell you, the public are just gonna go nuts when they see you....
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • welshboy78welshboy78 Posts: 9,904MI6 Agent
    2006
    Barbara: Dan, we just love what you've been doing! ... I tell you, the public are just gonna go nuts when they see you....

    :))
    Instagram - bondclothes007
  • AlphaOmegaSinAlphaOmegaSin EnglandPosts: 10,924MI6 Agent
    2006
    Barbara: Dan, we just love what you've been doing! ... No, I'm sure the public will love you too... Look, we've done this before, just relax... Well, the best way is really to introduce you via a press call... Yes, we were thinking that you should appear in true Bond style, maybe burst onto the scene on a speedboat... No, no need to get your haircut, it'll be fine, what's that? no they'll give probably you a hi-vis life jacket for a coupla seconds ... I tell you, the public are just gonna go nuts when they see you....


    :D
    1.On Her Majesties Secret Service 2.The Living Daylights 3.license To Kill 4.The Spy Who Loved Me 5.Goldfinger
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 31,521Chief of Staff
    Beautiful, C&D! :D

    1962
    Young: ...no Monty, I do like the song, I really do. We'll definitely use it. It's just that I was looking for something a bit more, you know, zippier, punchier.... yes of course your wife can sing it, but can we move away from the mango stuff? Something that we could use for a chase scene perhaps, or... No, no, I like the one about the three blind mice too but again I was wanting something, I don't know, with a bit more...

    1968
    Secretary: Eon Productions Ltd, can I help you? ...No, I'm sorry, could you spell that please? ...L-A-Z-E-N-B-Y... And the first name again?

    1970
    Secretary: Eon Productions Ltd, can I help you? ...No, I'm sorry, could you spell that please? ...L-A-Z-E-N-B-Y... And the first name again?

    1964
    General Russhon: Fort Knox Public Relations, can I help you?.... Oh, of course I've heard of you, you make the James Bond pictures don't you?... Why, yes if I can... You want what?... Well, I don't think we could allow... How many people?... Yes, I know they'd be carrying empty guns but still... and a helicopter with a fake bomb... No, I'm sorry, that's quite out of the... No, I'm afraid we couldn't possibly...
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,218MI6 Agent
    :)) :)) :)) Barbel you have a flair for these! The 1970 one is hilarious!

    2015
    Michael G: Hi Babs, how's it going? Yes, the boys have been on the line, the script is finished... Yes, totally, hush hush... No, there's no way we can send it to everyone by post, far too risky ... Email, well that's just not very secure, right off, is it? ... No, the only way we can guarantee it stays hush hush is to to post it on a secure website...
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 31,521Chief of Staff
    :)) :)) More, C&D, please!

    1967
    Broccoli: Oh, hi Harry, so did you go and see the Feldman movie then? How was it? Was Niven any good as Bond?... What?... And Sellers? ...Woody who?.. What?... What???... Oh my sweet... They didn't... They didn't... So who dubbed Andress?... Nobody???... No, I think you're right, Harry, we don't have anything to worry about. We've got Connery, after all.

    1995
    Serra: Mais oui, M. Wilson, I would be, how you say, delighted... Yes, of course I have listened to the other Bond soundtracks... Oui, oui, I understand what is required... Just leave it to me.

    1997
    Spottiswoode: Oh, hi Barbara... No, we're fine... Just a spot of trouble with the car scenes in Hamburg, but it's all sorted now... No, it was one of the extras... Yes, that one... No, he won't be back.
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,407MI6 Agent
    Barbel wrote:
    1968
    Secretary: Eon Productions Ltd, can I help you? ...No, I'm sorry, could you spell that please? ...L-A-Z-E-N-B-Y... And the first name again?

    1970
    Secretary: Eon Productions Ltd, can I help you? ...No, I'm sorry, could you spell that please? ...L-A-Z-E-N-B-Y... And the first name again?

    hahaha, genius! :)) :)) :))
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 31,521Chief of Staff
    You won't be saying that when you check the post before yours :D :D
  • HigginsHiggins GermanyPosts: 16,407MI6 Agent
    :)) :)) :))

    You are on a run tonight.
    You should try to make a hero son while you are on it :D
    President of the 'Misty Eyes Club'.

    Dalton - the weak and weepy Bond!
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 31,521Chief of Staff
    :)) Nah, this is my night off! Very happy you're enjoying these.
  • superadosuperado Regent's Park West (CaliforniaPosts: 2,560MI6 Agent
    1962

    Marguerite LeWars: “Mr. Young, are you sure I’m supposed to say those things? In that part of the script, I have no dialogue at the Kingston Airport.”

    Terence Young: “Please call me Terence, my dear, and yes, you should relate to me how you would emote those actions, to demonstrate you are conveying the appropriate attitude of your character, your very naughty character.”

    Marguerite LeWars: “Very well…Terence. I’m still not sure about the descriptive wording you are suggesting for me to say, but here it goes. “I held the thick and hard handle of the camera at the base. My fingertips squeezed the bulbous flash, gently twisting it until it came…off. I then licked the threaded base, rapidly darting my tongue on every ridge and crevice until the entire shaft was covered in my saliva…” …are you sure that’s not too over-the-top, Terence? Terence? Mr. Young? Are you still on the other end?!

    Terence Young: (Groaaaaaan!!!)
    "...the purposeful slant of his striding figure looked dangerous, as if he was making quickly for something bad that was happening further down the street." -SMERSH on 007 dossier photo, Ch. 6 FRWL.....
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,697MI6 Agent
    1962:
    Cubby, " hello is that you Sean, what's the problem ?"
    SC, " I seem to be losing my hair, Cubby, it's disappearing fast !"
    Cubby, " No one cares Sean, you're the number 1, box office star
    In the world "
    SC, " I don't care, I want something done ..... I want a toupe !'
    Cubby, " Sean,I don't think ......... "
    SC, " look just get me a Toupe, make this happen!"
    Cubby, " OK Sean, ..... But on your head be it !"
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
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