(Spoilers for NTTD) Shakespeare's Bond: Work area (All welcome!)

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  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,358MI6 Agent
    "Longitude 78 West" :)) :)) :) -{
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    :) Would be nice to work in "Commander Jamaica" somewhere!

    I can't think of a punchline to finish the scene :( . Easy to do some dialogue between Sir James and Dent, but it needs the closer.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    Has anyone got ideas to expand on the next scene?

    Act 3, Scene 4. A sailboat.

    Lord Felix: Thou art most tardy, Sir James.
    Sir James: To the Isle of Crabs we must sail without delay. Alchemist Dent didst say ye rocks were not from that Isle.
    Lord Felix: A most inferior alchemist he must be, or the worst of liars.
    Quarrel: Most afraid of this isle am I, for there be a dragon who doth breath fire.
    Lord Felix: Then thou must merely breathe upon him, for thou doth breathe rum.
    Quarrel: Bah!
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    (Later, in ye sailboat.)
    Lord Felix: ‘Tis best you two go on alone from here, I do fancy.
    Quarrel: Fair enough. (Elbows Lord Felix into ye water.)
    Lord Felix: (Growing fainter as ye boat continues.) Hey, come back you bast....
    Quarrel: (Aside.) "For thou doth breathe rum", eh? Ha!
    Sir James: Quarrel, what be yon house there?
    Quarrel: That, Sir James, be ye house of a Major Dexter Smythe- most days thou can see him swimming from his beach, playing with his octopussies. Sometimes his pretty young daughter doth join him.
    Sir James: And next to that?
    Quarrel: That be ye house of the Havelocks- oddly enough, they too have a pretty young daughter.
    Sir James: And then I do see some building going on.
    Quarrel: Ah, that be ye Bird of Thunder boarding house- ‘tis not finished yet. Thou should take a nap, Sir James, I shalt wake thee when we near ye Isle of Crabs.
  • Dirty PunkerDirty Punker ...Your Eyes Only, darling."Posts: 2,587MI6 Agent
    Sorry to interrupt, but when are we doing Die Another Day?
    a reasonable rate of return
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    I would be extremely happy to do that one, since it's the only official one left, but I wouldn't want to attempt it on my own.

    The ones without credits at the end are just by me, and are definitely inferior to those where the other members (I'll single out Thunderpussy, whose cheerfulness and sense of humour conceal his acute sense of plot and character, but not to forget Charmed & Dangerous, Number24, Thunderbird2, chrisisall, and others including yourself who have made suggestions) have thrown their ideas in. In fact, we'd started revising some of the weaker ones and improved them drastically.
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,704MI6 Agent
    I have recently started to campaign for a change in GF. The golf game should be changed into cow poo bingo.
    If you start writing DAD please give us a heads up so we have time to rewatch it.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    Consider this a heads up! :D

    Let's get working on DAD, then we can revise GF?
  • Dirty PunkerDirty Punker ...Your Eyes Only, darling."Posts: 2,587MI6 Agent
    Actually, the cow poo bingo could be used for the hovercraft bit. It floats right over it :)) !
    a reasonable rate of return
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,704MI6 Agent
    No, I think bars of soap tied to their feet might work for the PTS. You know, inspired by Pippi Longstockings.
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,704MI6 Agent
    Or perhaps they should be special shoes with bars of soap underneath, sort of ice skates for where there isn't any ice?
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,704MI6 Agent
    Jinx = Miss Hap
  • Dirty PunkerDirty Punker ...Your Eyes Only, darling."Posts: 2,587MI6 Agent
    We should really do a re-work of the Die Another Day song. It's begging for it.
    Frost could be Chilly, Gustav's Jamaican personal assistant.
    Will our version of Wai Lin return or are we going by the film?
    a reasonable rate of return
  • ThunderpussyThunderpussy Behind you !Posts: 63,792MI6 Agent
    Surfing in on their shields ? To a minstrel playing
    I wish they could all be California Colonies girls ?
    "I've been informed that there ARE a couple of QAnon supporters who are fairly regular posters in AJB."
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,704MI6 Agent
    edited June 2017
    We should really do a re-work of the Die Another Day song. It's begging for it.
    Frost could be Chilly, Gustav's Jamaican personal assistant.
    Will our version of Wai Lin return or are we going by the film?


    "Try another day" - a song about the struggle to write a Bond song, including finding the right genere?

    Or perhaps "Try another way""?
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    Well, here's a first draft of the scene where Sir James meets Miss Hap:

    A drinking place by the sea. Enter Sir James, ignoring a boorish man insulting a waiter. He doth espy a beauteous wench arising from the sea, which brings a warm smile of remembrance to his lips.
    Sir James: ‘Tis a magnificent view.
    Beauteous Wench: Aye, ‘tis a pity ‘tis not more appreciated. What ist thine name, good sir?
    Sir James: I am he who is called Bond, James Bond. I prithee, partake of this fine beverage.
    Beauteous Wench: Thou may know me as Miss Hap. Here, take hold of this gold statuette while I doth dry myself sensually with this towel.
    Sir James: Mine liege Dame Miles hath one just like this, which I hath greatly admired. (Casually attempts to slip it into his pocket.)
    Miss Hap: No fear, I willst have that back pronto! (Sips drink.) Mm, this beverage I could grow to like. What doth bring thee here, Sir James?
    Sir James: Only here for ye birds am I, since I am an ornith... orni... bird watcher.
    Miss Hap: Yea, that ist most surely a mouthful. Dost ye watch ye birds by night also?
    Sir James: Nay, then ‘tis time to feast.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,704MI6 Agent
    Later, in Cuba, Miss Hap jumps into an unconvincing stage painting of a cliff dropping into the sea.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,704MI6 Agent
    First part of the theme song is ready:


    I have to wake up, yes and no
    I'm gonna make some theat're tune
    I like to keep this secret
    I have to make this music now

    Ref.:
    I guess, try another day (x4)

    I'm gonna break the cycle
    I'm gonna make a good song
    It's gonna destroy my ego
    I'm gonna change the tune again

    Ref.:
    I guess, try another way (x4)
  • BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 SwitzerlandPosts: 870MI6 Agent
    New lyrics for new QOS song.

    Title: Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

    There once was a guy, he was short
    Michael said, that's not the kind of sort
    Barbara meant, don't care, he's hot
    Michael replied, his blonde hair is not!
    Babs insisted, it doesn't matter for the plot
    And look at that perfectly rounded rear!
    Michael rolled his eyes, oh Dear, oh Dear
    Then Casino Royale opened to great success
    But before Craigisnotbond.com made a mess
    Today people wonder why did everybody cry
    Everything went fine, Babs still has the say
    Next up we'll get Jamie Bell
    Even shorter and blonder bloody hell!
    Dalton Rulez™
  • BondJasonBond006BondJasonBond006 SwitzerlandPosts: 870MI6 Agent
    40th Anniversary DAD song lyrics.


    There was a day when I got Goodhead
    Not the next day but Pussy Galore instead
    Goodnight, Goodnight is saying quietly
    At least the Russian Girl will get Onatopp of me
    Honey is a good Ryder and I get Plenty
    I don't need that XXX I got for twenty
    Tomorrow I'll have breakfast with Tiffany
    and I make Christmas come regularly
    When I'm in Paris I play Domino and Solitaire
    I always rise to the occasion it's just fair
    Attempting re-entry as much as I want
    Will give them a re-fill because I'm Bond.
    Dalton Rulez™
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,704MI6 Agent
    edited June 2017
    Number24 wrote:
    First part of the theme song is ready:


    I have to wake up, yes or no?
    I'm gonna make some theat're tune
    I'd like to keep this secret
    I have to make this music now!

    Ref.:
    I guess, try another day (x4)

    I'm gonna break the cycle
    I'm gonna make a good song
    It's gonna destroy my ego
    I'm gonna change the tune again

    Ref.:
    I guess, try another way (x4)

    I'm gonna try yet another way
    There are so many more to try
    I can compose another day
    It's not yet time to deliver

    Ref.: I guess, use another tune (x4)

    I'm gonne use all clishes
    I'm gonna suspend the harm'nies
    It will not be a pleasure
    It's gonna end my career now

    Ref:
    I guess, run another way (x4)
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    No problem re us parodying the DAD song, but I'm really pleased with what's currently there in the QoS one (which may or may not express my own feelings... )
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
    ... of course it does!
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,704MI6 Agent
    Feel free to compliment my DAD song parody, cause I'm running out of ways to pat myself on the shoulder
  • Dirty PunkerDirty Punker ...Your Eyes Only, darling."Posts: 2,587MI6 Agent
    I think I'll find...another way
    There's so much more to write
    I guess I'll find...another way
    It's my time to go.

    For every script, I'll have to pay.
    No time to work. No time to play.
    I think I'll find another way
    It's my time to go.

    I'm gonna scratch the surface
    I'm gonna shake up the forum
    I'm gonna destroy my ego
    I'm gonna close my 'puter now

    I hope it wasn't rubbish.
    a reasonable rate of return
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 21,704MI6 Agent
    Great! I hope both our versions can be used.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,057Chief of Staff
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