James Bond in Hong Kong

JLordJLord Posts: 35MI6 Agent
"Hadley", by British journalist Nick Macfie, is a terrific read. Full of references to the Bond movies and very funny.
http://www.earnshawbooks.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=36

Comments

  • JLordJLord Posts: 35MI6 Agent
    "But if some prat had to play James Bond, it had to be a British prat, and Patrick McGoohan (long Hadley’s choice for the role) was by then far too old. This was the gist of the words that slopped onto the page under a few pictures of the leading candidates (inset of Patrick McGoohan). Thunderballs." - Nick Macfie, author of "Hadley"

    “We’re talking James Bond here. There is a heritage that has to be protected. Resurrected and protected.” - Joe Stein

    "McGoohan would have been an excellent James Bond. Up there with Connery. He had the coldness and the brutality. All Brosnan and Moore had was charm. I’ve told the team that the actor who plays 007 must be dark, hard and brutal. He cannot look like a guy who has soft hands or wears an earring or uses hairspray." - Joe Stein


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  • JLordJLord Posts: 35MI6 Agent
    "What happened was, we were asleep last night, but I seem to recall the trap door in the roof opening. Like it was a dream. And then I fell asleep again and I dreamt this man – it was too dark to tell who but actually for some reason I thought it may have been ghastly Robert Pattinson – dressed all in black, who crept on to the beam above my bed. From his top pocket he pulled some cotton thread and a phial. He unravelled the cotton so it fell to just above my head. I dreamt that beads of sweat appeared on his forehead as he unscrewed the phial and poured three drops on to the cotton. Drop followed drop down the string. It was just like that Bond film in Japan... What’s the matter?”
    “You’re telling us your dream, Chris,” said Joe. “I don’t want to hear about your dreams.”
    “No, but wait. This is the spooky part. I woke up, Joe. I woke up, and I opened my eyes, and what did I see?”
    “I don’t know. Dolly Parton?”
    “I saw the string! The end of it was about two inches above my nose. And I could see it was wet!”
    “Are you trying to tell me they tried to kill you by dabbing your nose with wet string?”
    “Don’t be silly, Joe. It was that James Bond film, ‘You Only Live Twice’. A drop of something reached the bottom of the string and was about to fall...”
    “On to your nose.”
    “Into my mouth, man. But then Linda turned in her sleep and pushed me... actually she kneed me in the balls, and before I could take stock, a drop had fallen into her mouth.”
  • JLordJLord Posts: 35MI6 Agent
    Hadley was escorted into what looked like a kitchen, except that there were no appliances. There was a picture of Sean Connery, Pussy Galore at his side, on the wall above a pool table. There were also a lot of men in the room, sitting on chairs against the walls and talking among themselves. They all wore suits and a couple had pool cues in their hands. One was wearing a shoulder holster. Hadley gulped.
    “Guys,” the big man said. “I’d like you say hello to…”
    “Hadley Arnold.”
    “He’s with the press.”
    “How did you know that?”
    “It’s written on your windshield. It says ‘press’.”
    A few raised their arms in greeting and murmured words of welcome. A man with a paunch and dark hair tied back in a ponytail walked over. He was struggling to tuck in his shirt. He put out his hand.
    “I’m Joe,” he said. “Don’t be a berk.”
    “I’m sorry?”
    “I’m playing with you. I said don’t be a berk. As an English joke. Because you like your ribald jokes, right? Cockney rhyming slang. Berkshire hunt. What rhymes with hunt? Don’t be a berk. What’s your name again?”
    “Hadley Arnold.”
    They shook hands. Joe, humming now, appeared to be examining Hadley’s teeth.
    “Hadley Arnold?”
    “That’s right.”
    “Are you sure that’s not Arnold Hadley?”
    “No.”
    “You’re not sure?”
    “No. I mean I’m sure.”
    “Because Arnold is usually a first name.”
    “No, but really, I’m sure. I know my own name. And what order the words are in.”
    “Good.” Joe slapped Hadley’s arm. “You’ve come to watch the movie with us?”
    “No. I...”
    “It’s ‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’. Highly under-rated. You want to watch?”
    “No, I can’t.” Tell them why, Hadley. “My father has a hernia.”
    “Well I’m sorry to hear that. So how can we help you, Harvey?”
    “Hadley.”
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