Monica Bellucci



  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,095MI6 Agent
    ...Bond25 may begin with Bond waking up in Bellucci's bed, hyperventilating and panicky, and she wakes up and says "did you have a bad dream?" and he says "yes" and then that's it, the nightmare is over and we can safely move onto a proper Bond adventure!
    Barbel wrote:
    well Dallas, sure that's a bad example...
    but Bob Newhart made it work!

    Bob and Emily waking up was the only good thing about the Newhart finale.
  • Charmed & DangerousCharmed & Dangerous Posts: 7,358MI6 Agent
    "How was your lamb?" "Skewered. One sympathises."
  • caractacus pottscaractacus potts Orbital communicator, level 10Posts: 3,978MI6 Agent
    edited April 2018
    ok, I've got the whole opening to Bond25 worked out.
    Youre not allowed to read if you haven't made it the end of the new Twin Peaks.
    (gunbarrel as usual, well, at least as in the last film and the first twenty....)

    Craig awakes in Bellucci's bed.
    Craig rolls over for another round with the age-appropriate milf-goddess. She's not there!
    Craig sits up in bed, and calls "Monica! er, I mean Lucia? where did...?"
    Craig spots a note left on bedside table, then reads aloud:
    " "Dearest Dale, last night was fabulous!" ...Dale?
    "But now I must go into hiding, do not try to follow me.
    Eff you. Diane" "
    Craigs eyes widen. "Dale?!!? Diane?!!? who the...?"
    Craig shakes head in disbelief, then looks directly at the camera.
    "...what ... year is this?"

    image freezes, brass section begins main theme (with animated dancing dwarfs, nuclear explosions and tea kettles)
    Julee Cruse sings (to the tune of Goldfinger)
    "Bond ... Twenty Five!!!!
    its a film ... that took four years to arrive!!!!
    but it feels more like twenty five!!!!"
    credits end.

    Craig is in the Universal Exports office. But its not any version of Moneypenny at the desk. It's Lucy.
    Lucy "you can go in now, Agent Cooper, he's waiting for you. Its the red door. That's the thing behind you, the thing on hinges with a knob, and it's coloured red"
    Craig shakes his head and mutters an oath, and enters.
    inside, its not any version of M, its FBI Deputy Director Gordon Cole. Craig sees the office has been redecorated with a portrait of Franz Kafka, and a huge photograph of a mushroom cloud.
    Cole shouts: "Coop, I need you to return to Twin Peaks immediately! The other Cooper has gone missing, again!"
    Craig leans into Gordon Cole's face and growls "I think I'll call you C!"
    Cole taps his hearing aid and shouts, "I see? No you see! C for Cooper!
    now remember you dropped your gun in a deepfrier on your last mission, so Special Agent Albert Rosenfield is going to issue with a new one. Apologies in advance for Albert!!"
    (enter Miguel Ferrer as Albert, who filmed his scenes before passing way, RIP)
    Albert: "this is a Walther PPK ...
    heh, did you know that's James Bond's gun?"
    Craig punches Albert in the nose, who collapses to the floor, then turns to the camera, once again breaking the fourth wall:
    "well, at least its better than the foster-brother nightmare!"
    I know I'd pay good money to see that, and I bet David Lynch will give a big thumbs up and agree to act and direct as soon as he reads my script.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,535Chief of Staff
    :)) :)) :))
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