Random Chat!!! (All Welcome!)

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  • CoolHandBondCoolHandBond Mactan IslandPosts: 9,449MI6 Agent

    The other night Mrs CHB said to me “You haven’t heard a thing I’ve said, have you?”

    I thought “That’s an odd way to start a conversation.”

    Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 42,006Chief of Staff

    😁

    My wife is very quiet and doesn't say much while I chatter away.

  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent
    edited May 5

    The words "We need to talk" are the scaries words a woman can say to a man. Enjoy the silence instead. 😁

  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent
    edited May 5

    Today the fields are white with snow. Unusual, but not unique. (ln case anyone wonders: The weather on one day is simply weather. For example the average temperature over a decade is climate)

  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent

    Picking cabbage from the garden while it snowing and the lawn is white feels strangely wrong. 😂

  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent

    And now for something completely different: Captain Maurice Suckling was Horatio Nelson's uncle and a navy hero himself. I wonder if someone would have the guts to use his last name in a Bond film today?

  • Silhouette ManSilhouette Man The last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 9,325MI6 Agent

    Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. 😀

    "The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent
    edited May 7

    So true. Lately the bond moves have tried to find "realistic names" instead of fun ones, forgetting that fun names exist in the real world. For example there is a t least one woman out there named Gunn Moan.

  • Silhouette ManSilhouette Man The last refuge of a scoundrelPosts: 9,325MI6 Agent

    And not forgetting "Dragonpol" though I think I'm the only one in the real world bearing that name. Deed polls are wonderful things. 😉

    "The tough man of the world. The Secret Agent. The man who was only a silhouette." - Ian Fleming, Moonraker (1955).
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent

    Today we celebrate VE-day. Let's never forget the veterans and never stop standing up for freedom!


  • SoneroSonero Posts: 479MI6 Agent

    The fearless steeplejack Fred Dibnah.

    A true British legend.

    (1979 - BBC)


  • Sir MilesSir Miles The Wrong Side Of The WardrobePosts: 30,998Chief of Staff

    He certainly was…I saw Fred fairly regularly, he was a drinking buddy of my uncle, was often in my local pub and I’ve seen him work on countless occasions, watching him take a chimney down was amazing.

    YNWA 97
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent
    edited May 19

    Not a personal confession, but as a person who grew up on a sheep farm I find this funny: 😁


  • SoneroSonero Posts: 479MI6 Agent
    edited May 20

    This is technology straight out of a James Bond film.


  • SoneroSonero Posts: 479MI6 Agent
    edited May 25

    Darling...Let's Start Up An Airline (1990 - BBC Archive)

    The UK's smallest international airlines.

    Wonderful documentary.


  • SoneroSonero Posts: 479MI6 Agent
    edited June 4

    I was thinking about a Karl Stromberg inspired episode of an imaginary James Bond TV series with a runtime of 45 minutes.

    JONAH

    Fisherman sight an odd looking whale with long pectoral fins in Somerset Bay, Bermuda.

    Retired Royal Navy Commander John Perkins, who resides in Bermuda's capital city Hamilton, then goes missing trying to track this whale.

    The news reaches M's desk.

    A close friend of Perkins, M is visibly distressed.

    There is more to this story.

    Commander Bond is then sent to Bermuda to investigate the disappearance of the retired officer.

    It turns out that Karl Stromberg has built an experimental 40-feet long mini-submarine, that looks like a whale and is testing it in the Atlantic Ocean.

    Stromberg aims to develop this whale-submarine as a reconnaissance vessel.

    As the story progresses, Bond meets with marine biologist Dr. Christina Baker, who heads the undersea exploration department at the Bermuda Institute of Ocean Studies (BIOS) and was close friends with Commander Perkins. Bond and Christina collect information from local sources about the last whereabouts of Perkins and triangulate an area 3 nautical miles north-west of Somerset Island, where the man was last seen by a fisherman returning back to the island.

    They also learn of sightings of a large whale in the very same area.

    Bond and Christina then take out the institute's mini-submersible and sail to the designated area to begin their search for Perkin's remains.

    After searching in vain for two days, they sight a large whale at a depth of 30 feet.

    On close inspection they discover the whale to be a mini-submarine.

    The whale-submarine detects the submersible and chases them into deep waters.

    In the ensuing cat and mouse game; Christina, piloting the submersible, manages to trap the whale-submarine in a deep rock fissure.

    As the whale-sub crew try to dislodge their submarine from the tight spot, Christina goes around the whale-sub and rams the side rails of the mini-submersible into the whale-subs propellers, destroying its propulsion system.

    After a few abortive tries, the whale submarine's 2-member crew abandon the sub and escape via diver propulsion vehicles to a nearby ship.

    Christina immediately marks the GPS position of the trapped sub and then heads upwards to track the mysterious ship.

    She brings the submersible in close proximity to the ship and Bond manages to swim up to the ship and climbs onto it.

    Here Bond finds a submarine maintenance facility and an angry Stromberg yelling at his crew.

    He learns of Perkin's death and Stromberg's grand aim to spy on NATO ships in the Atlantic via the whale-submarine.

    Bond decides not to attack Stromberg and his crew, as Christina is waiting in the submersible and they have limited fuel.

    Bond dives into the ocean and swims back to the submersible.

    Bond and Christina now return back to the trapped whale submarine and lift it up by hooking the horizontal stabilizer of the whale-sub to their submersible and rapidly ascending.

    Once they resurface with the whale submarine, Christina informs the Royal Bermuda Coast Guard via wireless radio about their location and requests urgent help.

    In the mean time Bond dives into the ocean and enters the whale-sub.

    He manually depressurizes the sub's ballast tanks, so that the submarine can float on its own.

    After tying one end of a long rope to the horizontal fin of the whale-sub, he swims back to the submersible and connects the other end of the rope to one of its rails.

    Christina now slowly tows the whale-sub with the submersible as they head towards the nearest island to their location (Daniel's Island).

    With Stromberg and his ship catching up, Bond and Christina now find themselves in a fix.

    Machine gun fire coming from Stromberg's ship shatters their submersible's bubble canopy.

    Bond returns fire with his Walther PPK pistol, but it is of no use. 

    Just in the nick of time, they are saved by a Royal Bermuda Coast Guard boat, that hears their distress call and returns fire on Stromberg's ship.

    Stromberg and his crew have now no other option but to reverse course and leave the area.

    Bond and Christina arrive safely back in Hamilton on the Coast Guard boat and hand over the whale-submarine and their destroyed submersible to the police authorities.

    The End.

    P.S.

    There actually is an island called 'Daniel's Island' off the west coast of Somerset Island in Bermuda.


  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent
    edited May 28

    A rather dark joke now:

    The Scottish Guards were attacking the German trenches in WWI. It was all done in perfect order - officers with horse whips and magnificent mustaches, soldiers with stiff upper lips facing the enemy machine guns and a man playing the bagpipe. Like every time many of the men did this the men were cut down by the German guns. They did the same again. New tune on the bagpipes, same result. When the third try predictably failed, one of the corporals turned to the bag pipe player: "For God's sake - can't you play something they like?"

  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent

    Clint Eastwood has quit the movie business. Lazy b*astard, he's only 96.

  • CoolHandBondCoolHandBond Mactan IslandPosts: 9,449MI6 Agent

    LIDL make exceedingly good fakes…


    Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand.
  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent
    edited June 9

    I'm not interested in football (the sport where they mostly use their feet to manipulate a ball-shaped object, not the other one), but this photo of the Norwegian national team caught my eye. It looks like the team is going for an offensive approach for the football world championships in north America.



  • SoneroSonero Posts: 479MI6 Agent
    edited June 16

    1988: Last Days on Grand Parade (BBC Archive)

    A moving documentary about the passage of time.


  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent

    The Speaker asked for "ro" (calm, order) in the parliament (Storting) in Norway. But the word "ro" also means "to row", and the rowing motion is the popular audience reaction among Norwegian football fans during the world championships. 😂


  • SoneroSonero Posts: 479MI6 Agent
    edited June 19

    A gritty adventure of ornithologist James Bond, as he travels to the Cayman Islands, in search of the enigmatic West Indian Whistling Duck. (Dendrocygna arborea).

    @Barbel & @chrisno1 It is about time you gentlemen write a 'real' James Bond story.😂


  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 42,006Chief of Staff

    😆 I'd be reluctant to have him starring in a story, but he could make a cameo appearance.

  • SoneroSonero Posts: 479MI6 Agent
    edited June 19

    @Barbel 😁👍

    Mandatory reading for fans of the 'true' James Bond.


  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 42,006Chief of Staff

    I'll keep that in mind! 😁

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 42,006Chief of Staff


    **BREAKING NEWS FROM FREEDONIA**

    The Grand Chancellor of the Duchy of Freedonia has today announced his resignation. Swept to power on a landslide victory only two years ago, a succession of bad decisions, fumbles, and outright mistakes have left the former Grand Chancellor highly unpopular.

    His Financial Advisor, Rachel from Accounts, was seen praying that the new Grand Chancellor lets her keep her job.

    The replacement, Andy King O’The North, will be taking up post as soon as possible. His stated aim is to make the public aware that he is most definitely not THAT Andrew.

  • Number24Number24 NorwayPosts: 23,744MI6 Agent
  • CoolHandBondCoolHandBond Mactan IslandPosts: 9,449MI6 Agent

    😂😂🤣🤣

    Is the new Grand Chancellor really just a naughty boy?

    Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand.
  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 42,006Chief of Staff

    By his own admission, yes. He has however said he will not repeat his predecessor's errors such as taking away old people's fires, appointing Sith Lords as ambassadors, and impersonating the Conservatives.

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