Eurovision 2007, Finland
Moonraker 5
Ayrshire, ScotlandPosts: 1,821MI6 Agent
We're starting to approach that time of year again when the United Kingdom picks which act will go on to fail miserably at that wonderous annual event, where we gather round our TVs to laugh hysterically at our European neighbours and see just how awful their music tastes are.
Sadly, despite the hyped rumours, Morrissey is not part of the line up for the BBC's Making Your Mind Up competition. However, former-The Darkness frontman Justin Hawkins is, together with Brian Harvey (formerly of East 17), Liz McClarnon (formerly of Atomic Kitten) and Big Brovaz...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6404193.stm
Sadly, despite the hyped rumours, Morrissey is not part of the line up for the BBC's Making Your Mind Up competition. However, former-The Darkness frontman Justin Hawkins is, together with Brian Harvey (formerly of East 17), Liz McClarnon (formerly of Atomic Kitten) and Big Brovaz...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6404193.stm
Comments
I love a bit of Eurovision.
Justin Hawkins though, whats that all about ????
About the end of his career, I'd say. Scooch for Eurosong!
@merseytart
For a moment, I thought I'd lost a year of my life.
I heard a snippet of his song on the News.Not for me I'm afraid but as the proud owner of a Scooch cd .... there the ones for me! ( should I be admitting that ? )
Interesting group of has beens. Eurovision has obviously become the home of pop failures
Maybe I should send in a demo, then!
There's a bit on the UK's, erm, "hopefuls", along with clips, here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6405743.stm
Forgive me for pointing out the obvious, but I think MNL was teasing as it is actually 2007 and not 2008 as in the title thread ;%
*Or Alex, so I get to share the donkey moment!
I thought MNL was simply having one of his forgetful moments
Personally, I think Big Brovas should be representing us in Eurovision. they were actually very good. Having said that, I've been singing 'We're flying the flag' all morning long whilst propelling my arms
Big Brovaz' girls were very good; the rapping men weren't though.
Bird from Atomic Kitten - Liverpool certainly wasn't right behind you (at least my house wasn't).
I couldn't believe that Cindi made it through to the last two - her song was unbelievably drab. And Justin Hawkins and whatever her name was - it was shaping up nicely - great voice, fantastic frock - then Justin Hawkins came caterwauling over it and sent it plummeting.
What kind of world are we living in when the poor man's Steps are the best? The dark haired tanorexic man in Schooch really creeps me out. Still, at least the song's fun, in a sort of dreadful way. The line "Would sir like something to suck on while we land?" is outrageous, and I can't imagine it's going to win us votes from the more religious countries.
I am however really looking forward to the show itself now that I've seen the Ukraine will be represented by a fat drag queen wrapped in tinfoil.
@merseytart
How on earth has she got to where she is? She is awful. I did the same when she was introducing Comic Relief. Did you see her at The Oscars for Sky ? 8-)
I got the impression that Hawkins heart wasn't quite in it
Now that was a coffee splurting moment! Fabulous.
Drag queens are de rigueur this year. Doesn't Denmark have one to? Maybe we should have got Dame Edna to represent us.
I didn't see Cotton at the Oscars; I avoided that section in case my ears started bleeding. Why do the Beeb keep thrusting her upon us when the wonderful Claudia Winkleman And Her Amazing Fringe are relegated to being Patrick "I'm Popular in Northern Ireland, You Know" Kielty's sidekick? I'm baffled.
And I forgot to add: I love Mel Giedroyc even more now.
@merseytart
(SPOILER WARNING) - though the real spoiler is the state of my ears now.
Oh dear, it's not a classic year, guys and gals. This is how bad it is: Scooch sounds good in this company. Scooch sounds like a winner in this company. I think it's something to do with the death of civilisation; certainly there were horsemen of the apocalypse circling my home while i listened.
Basically, the entrants can be divided into three categories:
(a) "If Lordi can win, we can too!". These are countries who think that Lordi won last year because of their hard rock stylings, rather than the fact that they had silly masks and explosions on stage. Austria, Montenegro and even Finland (among others) seem to believe that solid rawk is the way forward; unfortunately they all sound like Evanescence out takes, with a smidgeon of BonJovi c1986. This includes Israel's "Push The Button" which is apparently about Iran's nuclear policy; it's made me anti-Tehran, because if their political stance is inspiring such truly appaling music, then there should be a regime change.
(b) "Gays rule the world!" Yes, Hi-NRG lives on in the world of Eurovision. Leaving aside Scooch and their "Would sir like something to suck on while we land?" (watch it here, though I'd advise wearing lead all over your body before viewing it in case its repellent factors permeate your bloodstream), we also have Denmark's "Drama Queen", Turkey's "Shake it Up Shekerim" and Cyprus's "Comme Ci - Comme Ca".
(c) "We would rather not go to the expense of hosting Eurovision next year. Please do not vote for us." This category includes practically all of Eastern Europe, who have contributed some of the most impenetrably bizarre pop of recent years; the Czech Republic have chosen to make their Eurovision debut with a song that sounds like Barry White gargling with gravel, with Green Day on backing, while Montenegro has contributed a song called "Ajde Kroci", which I assume is Serbo-Croat for "we are saving our national television budget for a really big entry in 2010".
Leaving aside these three categories, the more "tradtional" Eurovision nations seem to have lost their minds this year. The UK's decision to send a Steps cover band comes under this category, of course, but consider that Sweden - the country that brought us ABBA, lest we forget - has submitted a Slade out take for their entry; that Ireland's entry contains pipes, a heartfelt lass, and the title "They Can't Stop The Spring", and is therefore the most blarney filled object this side of a leprechaun on Giant's Causeway; that the Germans have submitted a swing song. Now I love the German language; I studied it for five years, and I still consider a phrase like "um die Ecke" to be poetry, but the tongue is not naturally made for the laid back jazz as perpetrated by Frank, Bing and Sammi Davis, Jnr. Try to imagine Nat King Cole as a commandant at Colditz and you'll get the cultural clash going on.
Latvia has sent a bad photocopy of the Three Tenors; Slovenia is submitting a song which is clearly left over from the Communist days, and is probably extolling the virtues of good crop rotation and Lenin; and France, in a refreshing example of humility, have submitted a song in English. Actually, it's in Franglais; they must have asked an English person to write it, but been vague on the language to be used. Thus we get lyrics like "l'amour a la francais, let's do it again", which is actually worse than a song in French. Anyone who's heard "Joe le Taxi" will realise what a hideous concept that is.
Favourites? Well, I give props to Russia's "Song #1" for sounding like a Girls Aloud outtake for the first half, before it crashes and burns; Romania's "Liubi, Liubi, I Love You" has a certain naive charm; and the Ukraine's entry sounds like Borat was let loose on the DJ stand. Bulgaria's "Water" has a charm, like a drunk Auntie on the karaoke stand at a wedding, and I love Belarus' "Work Your Magic" because (a) it has an intro like a long-lost Bond theme and (b) it continually rhymes "Feeling" with "Willing", as though that was a rhyme that anyone with a decent grasp of English would use. I hope no-one points out his linguistic error before the finals - I still have fond memories of Bosnia & Herzegovina's "Call Me" a couple of years ago, where they mispronounced "party" as "porty" and it was strangely endearing.
Special mention should go to Switzerland's "Vampires Are Alive", which manages to make vampires non-frightening and non-sexual. I frankly feel sorry for the people of Switzerland, because I have heard that this song has caused controversy for its scandalous content in that tiny nation; if you find this bland piece of Euro pap offensive for any reason other than it's tripe, then clearly you are a country who has nothing better to think about.
My advice? Drink early, and drink often; it may be best to get loaded around 6pm, and to employ a small boy to wake you up in time for the voting rounds.
@merseytart
I have yet to subject myself to the other entrants, I ordered my copy yesterday so I will give a full appraisal in a day or two.
As for Scooch, they were 'performing' on Blue Peter yesterday. The infamous 'Would Sir like something to suck on for landing' was changed to a rather bland 'Would Sir like a sweet' ... talk about taking the fun out of something
Yes indeed - bring it on !
Thanks for the rundown, jestset.
I laughed out loud when I first heard this but, strangely, its growing on me (like a fungus). It could just be that my daughter loves it and played it 5 times on the trot this morning in the car - that and Israels 'Push the Button'.
There are quite a few bizarre entries this year and Lordi are without doubt the inspiration for most of them.
Still, I quite like DQ and Spain actually sound like they've made an effort this year but what is it with Germany? Last year country and western, this year jazz!!
I have absolutely no idea who is going to win this year.
Its the semi finals on Thursday evening and will be shown BBC3 at 8pm.
Well, I've not heard any of the entries this year (not even Scooch in it's entirity), but out of these, the Ukranian drag queen has just got to win. Lyrics such as this are class:
Hello everybody!
My name is Verka Serdyuchka
Me English don't understand!
Let's speak DANCE!
Seven, seven, ai lyu lyu
Seven, seven, one, two
Seven, seven, ai lyu lyu
One, two, three!
But the look alone is really a winner...
[img=http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42753000/jpg/_42753699_serduchka203.jpg]Looks like the usual car crash of European melodies though, looking forward to it!
"Work Your Magic is a pop song with an orchestral flourish which has all the makings of a James Bond theme."
Considering this a song sung by someone who won Factory of The Stars (Belarus' own version of The X Factor) and written by a Russian lyricist who failed to win in 2006, I'm finding that statement a little hard to take seriously.
Actually .... when I first heard it I thought it started off quite Bondian too ;%
There are soooo many ripoffs this year. Apart from most sounding like some Bon Jovi/ Jim Steinman effort, Switzerland's Vampire thing sounds like the beginning of Star Wars (
Whilst the Ukraine undeniable win hands down for most bizarre Act/Lyrics/Song , I'm going for a win for Denmark.
( As a side note, I have the album on ITunes and under genre it say 'unclassifiable' which seems quite appropriate
@merseytart
Famous last words
I cant believe Denmark and Switzerland are both out.
This,apparently, is the running order for the final:-
1. Bosnia-Herzegovina
2. Spain
3. Belarus
4. Ireland
5. Finland
6. FYR Macedonia
7. Slovenia
8. Hungary
9. Lithuania
10. Greece
11. Georgia
12. Sweden
13. France
14. Latvia
15. Russia
16. Germany
17. Serbia
18. Ukraine
19. United Kingdom
20. Romania
21. Bulgaria
22. Turkey
23. Armenia
24. Moldova