Delicious established that Max is a swordsman,so perhaps he and 007 should fight to the death with those weapons.
Imagine how confusing the sight of two absolutely identical James Bonds(complete to the way they're dressed) trying their best to kill each other would be to Daya and any of the other Good Guys...
Actually the swordsman link is quite weak - Max just grabbed an antique scimitar from the wall to behead Dr Bakshi. He could be skilled in any kind of weapon. I think guns would be more up his alley myself but Im just a bystander now.
Yeah,that was a stretch,wasn't it?It was only a thought.Maybe a shootout or fistfight(or combination) is more in order.
Another thought-that empty mansion in Finland might be boobytrapped.It was definitely easy to enter because aside from the occasional armed guards, 007 and Daya haven't met much resistance.And Obsidian and Daya are watching them via satellite from Crucible One which is a considerable distance away from the mansion.
If the mansion somehow IS a trap--007 might be able to use the BMW as an escape vehicle--or even one of Max's airplanes.
And let's remember the psychiatrist Obsidian imported.Where would he be?
I took the liberty of offing Pemberton, and I followed up on WG's idea of the mansion being booby-trapped.
I left it with Obsidian and Adriana grabbing a vehicle from the garage and escaping down a hidden tunnel to Crucible One. Bond is on his way to meet up with Daya to follow.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
Hi guys my bit will be in tomorrow - its mine and my wifes Wedding Anniversary today so won't be able to do it tonight!
I'm going to have to revise a portion of my story. In retrospect, I realized that Obsidian was diguised as Bond, therefore Daya would not have recognized him running into the garage! oops ;%
Delicious established that Max is a swordsman,so perhaps he and 007 should fight to the death with those weapons.
Imagine how confusing the sight of two absolutely identical James Bonds(complete to the way they're dressed) trying their best to kill each other would be to Daya and any of the other Good Guys...
Actually the swordsman link is quite weak - Max just grabbed an antique scimitar from the wall to behead Dr Bakshi. He could be skilled in any kind of weapon. I think guns would be more up his alley myself but Im just a bystander now.
The only other possible clue to Obsidian's choice of weapons is his name - remember, obsidian is razor sharp, though brittle. its used to make surgical blades even today. Perhaps obsidian has an obsidian knife.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
Hi forgot it was Halloween last night so couldn't post yesterday as we had plans which I'd forgotten about. Anyway my bit will be in either later today or early tomorrow -sorry for the delay -its been hectic.
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
Ok my bit is in - just had Daya captured in the tunnel -So 007 has to get in there and confront both Adriana and Obsidian -plus rescue Daya -and I think Zimbardo should be rescued also (He can be held in the same place as Daya).
Hi guys - sorry I haven't checked in for a little while. Just gotta catch up on the last few entries and get mine done. Hopefully I'll have it in the bag by Sunday!
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
My entry is in - apologies if it reads a little rough. It was slightly rushed I'm afraid. As always, I've found that I have less time for this than I would have liked.
One matter I was slightly unsure of, was whether the tunnel to Crucible One would have been for vehicles or for people only. If it was under the garage and accessible only via a concealed and locked door, would a car be able to get through it and into the tunnel? Also six feet wide seems a bit narrow for a car. I wrote it as if it were only accessible by foot, but it could be changed if necessary. I just was battling to visualise whether the entrance would be a normal door, or a door wide enough for a vehicle etc.
Looks good, Golrush! As for the tunnel, I suppose it could be for wheatever we want (vehicles, foot, etc.) I will suggest that if Bond ran a mile down it, then it's an awfully long tunnel for just walking. Motorcycles would fit just fine, though!
Okay guys, I should have my entry in within the next couple of days. I would write it now, but at the moment, I have more college writing coursework to do...
I haven't read Golrush's entry yet, but it sounds great! I'll let you know when I've caught up on the story.
Okay...in an effort to keep tabs on our storylines, here's a few things that I can think of to resolve...
Obsidian needs to finally confront his inner demons. Perhaps Bond can connect the dots (since he's seen the dossier) and Obsidian will realize the horrors of his past.
Obsidian and Adriana need to meet their maker. I think the two should die in tandem, personally.
Dr. Zimbardo needs to be rescued, possibly with any other people confined to Crucible One.
All of the crucible bases need to be shut down. This can be easily wrapped up by a comment from M.
Wow, great stuff, Golrush! You've set it up just perfectly! Sorry for the delay, I'll be writing tonight and should have my entry in tomorrow.
All is coming together nicely. As for ideas as Daren has asked, the only thing I'm wondering about is which of our two lovely ladies should get the honor of saying "Oh, James..." at the end?
I cant remember if I already posted this somewhere but I did have some ideas about Obsidian's inability to remember his past.
Firstly, the mass murder is done by a hit team sent by some disgruntled business associates of Obsidian's father who dabbled with some shady customers in addition to his legitimate businesses.
There has been mention of some horrific bullets that virtually explode the target and Obsidian's shady busines partner could have been an arms dealer who used some of these bullets in the massacre.
Now as to the crux of the matter. Obsidian had an identical twin brother called Simon. However Simon was his father's favourite and slightly older (by an hour) and Max resented this as well as having all the neuroses of sharing an identity. Max saw the hit team arrive but being angry with his father about some petty disagreement (one of many) he did not warn him until it was too late. He ran and hid instead. His father, brother and the rest of the amily were all killed. When Max saw his dead brother's body afterwards it drove him insane and he became amnesiac.
Someone else amy have a better idea but that was mine. Max is consumed by a mixture of guilt and fear - because of the twin "psychic link" thing - he felt like he was the one who was shot instead of his brother.
I cant remember if I already posted this somewhere but I did have some ideas about Obsidian's inability to remember his past.
Firstly, the mass murder is done by a hit team sent by some disgruntled business associates of Obsidian's father who dabbled with some shady customers in addition to his legitimate businesses.
There has been mention of some horrific bullets that virtually explode the target and Obsidian's shady busines partner could have been an arms dealer who used some of these bullets in the massacre.
Now as to the crux of the matter. Obsidian had an identical twin brother called Simon. However Simon was his father's favourite and slightly older (by an hour) and Max resented this as well as having all the neuroses of sharing an identity. Max saw the hit team arrive but being angry with his father about some petty disagreement (one of many) he did not warn him until it was too late. He ran and hid instead. His father, brother and the rest of the amily were all killed. When Max saw his dead brother's body afterwards it drove him insane and he became amnesiac.
Someone else amy have a better idea but that was mine. Max is consumed by a mixture of guilt and fear - because of the twin "psychic link" thing - he felt like he was the one who was shot instead of his brother.
P.S. Due to the amnesia Max doesnt remember his other family members, including his brother - and he hits a psychological blind spot when anyone tries to tell him he had a brother. Bond might trigger the memory by showing him a photograph. None of the psychiatrists who have tried to treat Obsidian knew that he had a brother either.
Sweepy the CatHalifax, West Yorkshire, EnglaPosts: 986MI6 Agent
How many pages are you hoping it will last, I'm really liking it so far. P.S. Could I contribute as a newcomer to fan fiction
It seems to be coming to an end just about now! I hope that you enjoy the finished product! ;)
And you should feel free to contribute to AJB's fan fiction. Either write something by yourself and post it in the forum or send it to Sico and maybe have it featured in the fan fiction library with cover art etc. And I'm sure there'll be another group novel next year which you could get involved with!
My recommendation is that you have a go yourself and hone your 007 writing skills and get some feedback and then join the writing team for novel 7!
Sweepy the CatHalifax, West Yorkshire, EnglaPosts: 986MI6 Agent
edited November 2007
Thanks for the advice
P.S. Just been looking at your site, good but you could do posters for TSWLM, FYEO, TWINE and DAD.
P.S. Just been looking at your site, good but you could do posters for TSWLM, FYEO, TWINE and DAD.
Hopefully I will at some point - trouble is I'm unable to do any fan art at the moment. I certainly would like to get back into doing some new fan art soon though.
Entry's in. I decided to create a bit of climactic drama, but I have a feeling that this setting will not be Obsidian's final resting place. I would have continued it, but I realized that I had left out Adriana. I have left the scene at a sort of cliffhanger, with hopefully enough opportunity to fit Adriana somewhere into the story at this point.
I approached this as though Zimbardo had crawled over to Bond and released him in order to attack Obsidian. But I was also thinking that perhaps Adriana has seen a bit more than she wanted to see of Obsidian having fun with Daya. Perhaps she gets jealous and turns on her lover? If that doesn't seem viable, it may be better for her to completely ignore Obsidian's behavior, laughing it off. Also, I've set it up so that Obsidian can begin to remember his true past. I do hope that I've given a good start to the beginning of the end.
My entry is a bit rough of course, and will need some polishing (which I will do later). But as always, comments would be greatly appreciated.
By the way Sweepy, I agree with Golrush's advice. Writing your own novel first and experimenting with different writing techniques (and of course coming up with your own!) is a great way to go. It will give you a chance to hone and polish your Bond writing skills so they can become the best they can be! I most certainly wish you luck in your writing endeavors, Sweepy!
Well done, Sly Fox! You've created a mesmorizing scene. I almost felt like I was strapped in that chair with Daya watching all the strange proceedings.
Now that you have all the players (minus Adriana) in one place, we now just have to wait for the other shoe to drop. {[]
Entry's in.It's very rough but I'll revise it considerably.I've used delicious's suggestions but altered things slightly so that Max intentionally killed Simon.With Simon it was murder pure and simple.Max also was (unintentially)responsible for the deaths of his entire family.
I've also attempted to incorporate an explanation for Max's behavior by having Zimbardo expound a bit--particularly focusing on that 'psychic link',delicious mentioned.Hopefully it makes some kind of sense and doesn't come across as absolute nonsense--nonsense perhaps but hopefully not of the absolute variety.I tried,guys-honest.:)I'll work on it more.
Suggestion:The way things are currently set up, Adriana could accidentally kill Max(or wound him mortally) if--during the fight--his knife and 007's are accidentally exchanged.She'd shoot the guy without the obsidian knife.This might be dramatic enough and fall in line with the sometimes ironic undertone of this story.
OR Adriana could fire blindly and Daya could kill her and then 007 could kill Max.Either way,the bad guys die.:)
Great stuff, WG! I like the psych explanations, and as always, your action scenes are top-notch.
For the ending (ie, death for the baddies), I would suggest an attempted escape in a vehicle of some sort. The now mangled, barely running BMW, perhaps? Daya could be sent to evacuate all of 'Baba Yaga's slaves from the glassworks since the mansion could be rigged with explosives. This could be a great opportunity to put some more snowy scenery into the picture. Maybe we could get Bond to put an explosive into Obsidian's car as he drives away. Or even better, how about we use the Q Phone's rocket?
What has happened in the story so far is great, no doubt about it, but I would like to see Obsidian and Adriana go out with a bang of some kind, if you get what I mean. If we would like to continue this scene as it is going, we could have Bond "kill" them both, but they again show their faces right at the last second for Bond to blow them up (or something of the sort). That would be an interesting twist that would probably be totally unexpected. Perhaps they could even be trapped in the mansion as it explodes.
Alternatively, we could just use a good old-fashioned knife fight to kill them both. We could have either Obs or Adriana die in the other's arms, with the one going after Bond with a vengeance. Bond obviously then kills his attacker.
Anyway, just some ideas. How do you guys think we should end it?
Thanks,Sly!As always your comments are greatly appreciated.I've since tightened it up a bit and as a result think it reads a little bit better.I've emphasised the "identical twin" situation as regards 007 and Obsidian as an ironic counterpoint to the Simon/Max relationship.
Climax-By all means let's see that Q Phone fire another missle.To my knowledge it's only been fired once and it was established as having two rounds.Waste not,want not...:)
Wow! Fantastic work, WG! I love the idea of Max's conflict with Bond 'mirroring' (no pun intended) his rivalry with his brother!
I think I figured out a way to work that phone missile back into the story...perhaps Daya in an effort to figure out which is the real 007, uses her own cell phone to call him. In theory, the real 007 would be the one ringing. Just to mix things up, suppose 'Bond' holds up the phone, lauds Daya for her ingenuity and tosses the phone in triumph. Just as Daya is about to shoot, the dropped phone is quickly snatched up by the REAL Bond, who uses the missile to rub out the surprised Obsidian.
Comments
Actually the swordsman link is quite weak - Max just grabbed an antique scimitar from the wall to behead Dr Bakshi. He could be skilled in any kind of weapon. I think guns would be more up his alley myself but Im just a bystander now.
Another thought-that empty mansion in Finland might be boobytrapped.It was definitely easy to enter because aside from the occasional armed guards, 007 and Daya haven't met much resistance.And Obsidian and Daya are watching them via satellite from Crucible One which is a considerable distance away from the mansion.
If the mansion somehow IS a trap--007 might be able to use the BMW as an escape vehicle--or even one of Max's airplanes.
And let's remember the psychiatrist Obsidian imported.Where would he be?
I took the liberty of offing Pemberton, and I followed up on WG's idea of the mansion being booby-trapped.
I left it with Obsidian and Adriana grabbing a vehicle from the garage and escaping down a hidden tunnel to Crucible One. Bond is on his way to meet up with Daya to follow.
Its all looking great though!
The only other possible clue to Obsidian's choice of weapons is his name - remember, obsidian is razor sharp, though brittle. its used to make surgical blades even today. Perhaps obsidian has an obsidian knife.
Yes I've finished -its more of a starting point for the next in line.
I figured that was the case, but wasn't sure
One matter I was slightly unsure of, was whether the tunnel to Crucible One would have been for vehicles or for people only. If it was under the garage and accessible only via a concealed and locked door, would a car be able to get through it and into the tunnel? Also six feet wide seems a bit narrow for a car. I wrote it as if it were only accessible by foot, but it could be changed if necessary. I just was battling to visualise whether the entrance would be a normal door, or a door wide enough for a vehicle etc.
I haven't read Golrush's entry yet, but it sounds great! I'll let you know when I've caught up on the story.
Obsidian needs to finally confront his inner demons. Perhaps Bond can connect the dots (since he's seen the dossier) and Obsidian will realize the horrors of his past.
Obsidian and Adriana need to meet their maker. I think the two should die in tandem, personally.
Dr. Zimbardo needs to be rescued, possibly with any other people confined to Crucible One.
All of the crucible bases need to be shut down. This can be easily wrapped up by a comment from M.
Anyone else have ideas?
All is coming together nicely. As for ideas as Daren has asked, the only thing I'm wondering about is which of our two lovely ladies should get the honor of saying "Oh, James..." at the end?
Firstly, the mass murder is done by a hit team sent by some disgruntled business associates of Obsidian's father who dabbled with some shady customers in addition to his legitimate businesses.
There has been mention of some horrific bullets that virtually explode the target and Obsidian's shady busines partner could have been an arms dealer who used some of these bullets in the massacre.
Now as to the crux of the matter. Obsidian had an identical twin brother called Simon. However Simon was his father's favourite and slightly older (by an hour) and Max resented this as well as having all the neuroses of sharing an identity. Max saw the hit team arrive but being angry with his father about some petty disagreement (one of many) he did not warn him until it was too late. He ran and hid instead. His father, brother and the rest of the amily were all killed. When Max saw his dead brother's body afterwards it drove him insane and he became amnesiac.
Someone else amy have a better idea but that was mine. Max is consumed by a mixture of guilt and fear - because of the twin "psychic link" thing - he felt like he was the one who was shot instead of his brother.
P.S. Due to the amnesia Max doesnt remember his other family members, including his brother - and he hits a psychological blind spot when anyone tries to tell him he had a brother. Bond might trigger the memory by showing him a photograph. None of the psychiatrists who have tried to treat Obsidian knew that he had a brother either.
And you should feel free to contribute to AJB's fan fiction. Either write something by yourself and post it in the forum or send it to Sico and maybe have it featured in the fan fiction library with cover art etc. And I'm sure there'll be another group novel next year which you could get involved with!
My recommendation is that you have a go yourself and hone your 007 writing skills and get some feedback and then join the writing team for novel 7!
P.S. Just been looking at your site, good but you could do posters for TSWLM, FYEO, TWINE and DAD.
Hopefully I will at some point - trouble is I'm unable to do any fan art at the moment. I certainly would like to get back into doing some new fan art soon though.
I approached this as though Zimbardo had crawled over to Bond and released him in order to attack Obsidian. But I was also thinking that perhaps Adriana has seen a bit more than she wanted to see of Obsidian having fun with Daya. Perhaps she gets jealous and turns on her lover? If that doesn't seem viable, it may be better for her to completely ignore Obsidian's behavior, laughing it off. Also, I've set it up so that Obsidian can begin to remember his true past. I do hope that I've given a good start to the beginning of the end.
My entry is a bit rough of course, and will need some polishing (which I will do later). But as always, comments would be greatly appreciated.
By the way Sweepy, I agree with Golrush's advice. Writing your own novel first and experimenting with different writing techniques (and of course coming up with your own!) is a great way to go. It will give you a chance to hone and polish your Bond writing skills so they can become the best they can be! I most certainly wish you luck in your writing endeavors, Sweepy!
Now that you have all the players (minus Adriana) in one place, we now just have to wait for the other shoe to drop. {[]
I've also attempted to incorporate an explanation for Max's behavior by having Zimbardo expound a bit--particularly focusing on that 'psychic link',delicious mentioned.Hopefully it makes some kind of sense and doesn't come across as absolute nonsense--nonsense perhaps but hopefully not of the absolute variety.I tried,guys-honest.:)I'll work on it more.
Suggestion:The way things are currently set up, Adriana could accidentally kill Max(or wound him mortally) if--during the fight--his knife and 007's are accidentally exchanged.She'd shoot the guy without the obsidian knife.This might be dramatic enough and fall in line with the sometimes ironic undertone of this story.
OR Adriana could fire blindly and Daya could kill her and then 007 could kill Max.Either way,the bad guys die.:)
Just a few thoughts.
For the ending (ie, death for the baddies), I would suggest an attempted escape in a vehicle of some sort. The now mangled, barely running BMW, perhaps? Daya could be sent to evacuate all of 'Baba Yaga's slaves from the glassworks since the mansion could be rigged with explosives. This could be a great opportunity to put some more snowy scenery into the picture. Maybe we could get Bond to put an explosive into Obsidian's car as he drives away. Or even better, how about we use the Q Phone's rocket?
What has happened in the story so far is great, no doubt about it, but I would like to see Obsidian and Adriana go out with a bang of some kind, if you get what I mean.
Alternatively, we could just use a good old-fashioned knife fight to kill them both. We could have either Obs or Adriana die in the other's arms, with the one going after Bond with a vengeance. Bond obviously then kills his attacker.
Anyway, just some ideas. How do you guys think we should end it?
By the way, thanks for the compliments, Daren!
Climax-By all means let's see that Q Phone fire another missle.To my knowledge it's only been fired once and it was established as having two rounds.Waste not,want not...:)
I think I figured out a way to work that phone missile back into the story...perhaps Daya in an effort to figure out which is the real 007, uses her own cell phone to call him. In theory, the real 007 would be the one ringing. Just to mix things up, suppose 'Bond' holds up the phone, lauds Daya for her ingenuity and tosses the phone in triumph. Just as Daya is about to shoot, the dropped phone is quickly snatched up by the REAL Bond, who uses the missile to rub out the surprised Obsidian.