(Spoilers for NTTD) Shakespeare's Bond: Work area (All welcome!)

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  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff
    edited March 2022

    I'd like to change this-

    (and the BBC Audiophonic Workshop further torture im wif weird sound effects, like the sound of Neddie Seagoon walking down an endless corridor)

    to

    (Ye guards produce a batch of parrots, all making weird noises.)


    Whaddya fink?


    Edit- Have we got Harry escaping?

  • caractacus pottscaractacus potts Orbital communicator, level 10Posts: 3,949MI6 Agent
    edited March 2022

    yes remove that reference, we never really developed that gag, its an orphan

    at one point westward was suggesting an old time radio sound effects man at the side of the stage next to the musicians, but that was all too complicated...


    I wrote a draft of the brainwashing scene, but it ends with the Sorcerer having a fit of frustration when 'arry says "my name ain't 'arry", so thats a missing bit

    its a quick action scene in the film. 'arry overtakes his guards one day, and I dont even know how he coulda done that because he must've been pretty weak.

    Then he's out in the streets, and sees the doubledecker bus and the phone booth and all the other visual clues so even I recognise he's still in London, goes to the phone booth and calls Dalby. That striking visual i remember much more clearly than the actual escape, which is almost blink and youll miss it


    by the way, my idea of a punchline there doesnt quite work, As in the film, the brainwasher (sorceror) is trying to get 'arry to foget his own name, and 'arry says "well I know one fing! My name aint 'arry!" then the sorceror reacts like an exasperated villian in a childrens cartoon, breaking his wand and cursing. but why? surely he wants 'arry to foget his name, so 'arry's denial of his own name is therefor a good thing?

    so maybe a more logical punchline could acknowledge that!

    like this...

    _____________________________________________

    ...

    Sorcerer: You will obey what I say. You will forget your own name.

    Palmer: Wait! What name? I dont fink I as a name!

    Sorcerer: You will forget your own name. What is your name?

    Palmer: well I know one fing! My name aint 'arry!

    [and starting here's where we change it]

    Sorceror: !!! Wait! What's that you say?

    Palmer: My name aint 'arry!

    Sorceror: You quite definitely said your name is not Harry?

    Palmer: Thass right, guv, my name aint 'arry!

    Sorceror: Oh, jolly good! Well, that was easy! In that case I think we're done!

    Palmer: Youre kiddin'? it was jus gettin' interestin'!

    Sorceror: No I think we've achieved everything we set out to, we're all done, why not knock off early?

    Palmer: Wuff you mean, I gotta go back to that cell?

    Sorceror: No, no, you're free to leave! You don't need anything else from us! Off you go, and best of luck with your future endeavours and all that sort of thing!

    Palmer: ('arry gets up and walks towards door marked EXIT) ye mean juss like that?

    Sorceror: I'm sure there's other things you'd rather be doing right now, and frankly so would I! bye-bye!

    minion: Boss you sure 'bout this?

    Sorceror: Major Dalb- ..., er, i mean that uptight toff whose always humming out of tune, paid us to erase his memory, and we've obviously done what we're paid for! So let's all knock off early, shall we!

    minion: aw thass right, boss, fanks!

    (Palmer stops to ask one more more time just to be sure, thinks better of it, opens EXIT door and exits scene)

    minion: wait, didnt Major Dalb- ..., er, i mean that uptight toff, also pay us to program some sort of mental conditioning trigger?

    Sorceror: (starts to speak then stops, expression changing) Oh bugger!!! er, could you open the EXIT door and see if he's still standing outside?

    minion: naw, 'e's long gone boss, dint waste no time gettin outa here!

    Sorceror: Oh bugger, indeed...

    minion: er, boss, does we still gets t'knock off early?

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent

    Can you change the phrase post hypnotic suggestion to mental conditioning trigger? It'll fit in with the language of my coda.

  • caractacus pottscaractacus potts Orbital communicator, level 10Posts: 3,949MI6 Agent
    edited March 2022

    OK done

    theres also a line in the final confrontation then that has to match post 3020 ...

    Dalby: Oh for heavens sake, Palmer, didn't they teach you anything at that expensive brain-washing session I sent you to? Those are ye post-hypnotic trigger words!

    ...would have to be changed to...

    Dalby: Oh for heavens sake, Palmer, didn't they teach you anything at that expensive brain-washing session I sent you to? Those are ye mental conditioning trigger words!

    .. @Barbel can you find and replace that one bit? I'm sure that still reads.


    Westward they must have had hypnotism in 1590! thats very old school black magic wizardry! why cant we say post-hypnotic? it certainly sounds more exciting and is part of the movie!

    ______________________

    @Westward_Drift the street urchins are yours. can you do a quick scene in the street where the freshly escaped 'arry finds a street urchin, and has him pass a message to Dalby to meet at the warehouse ? damn, this is another it that doesnt work without payphones, cuz then Dalby should also tell 'arry to invite Ross. so the urchin will have to run back and forth a few times between 'arry, Dalby, 'arry and Ross.

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent

    If I want to be pedantic, the word Hypnotism itself didn't exist until the 19th century and even the earlier Mesmerism goes back only to the 18th century. We are anachronistic as all get out (Harry's prison temptation with espresso is impossible since espresso is from the late 19th century), but this is more than hypnosis. It is brain washing. Of course that word was from the 20th Century, but I am okay with it here. Go figure. Plus it can be a phrase from Marlowe's poetic mind.

    The mental conditioning is also anachronistic in the exact usage, but the words existed in 1600. And to me it sounds more sinister. Hypnotism is a party trick, IPCRESS is able to program assassins (and did in the coda). The coda is where we find out how much of the playe translates to the "real world".

    I say keep just the one parrot (Blue and Gold Macaw if you have to describe it---you don't though, I will take care of it---you'll see why). Have the sorcerer make the sounds the parrot made on devices on a table in front of him. Have him look absolutely ridiculous contorting himself while turning cranks with various noisemakers while brainwashing Harry.

    ***********************************************************************

    Here's a quick scene with the Urchins. Feel free to add a joke or two.

    ***********************************************************************

    Harry heads to the prison exit. On a table by the gate are a number of weapons: crossbows, sabers, and daggers. He grabs a crossbow, handful of crossbow bolts, a saber, and a couple daggers.

    Harry: Can’t be too careful. I can’t be sure where in ye world I am.

    Harry exits the gate and finds himself in an alley. He heads to the street.

    Harry: Did I ‘ear someone speaking English?

    Harry exits the alley and turns down the street. In front of him is The Mermaid Tavern. Beyond is visible the dome of St Paul’s Cathedral.

    Harry: Well that’s a knock to the noggin’, I’m still in London. I been set up. But by whom? Dalby or Ross? I need to get the upper hand on both of ‘em.

    Harry reverses course and heads to London Bridge. There he spots a couple street urchins from his network.

    Harry: Oi, lads! Come here. I got a message for each of you to deliver.

    Street Urchin: What are you gonna pay?

    Harry: Double the usual rate.

    Street Urchin: A’right. But you don't look like you got any coin on ye.

    Harry: I am good for it.

    Street Urchin: You look halfway dead. Just in case you end up all dead I want one of them daggers in your waistband.

    Street Urchin #2: I want a dagger, too.

    Harry: Would you like my underwear while we’re at it?

    Street Urchin #2: No, you smell rank.

    Harry: Fine. (He hands the boys the daggers) Find me some scraps of paper and something to write with. I have very specific set of instructions to be sent to a Major Dalby and a Colonel Ross.

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff

    Of course those changes and additions will be going in! We're very nearly finished now, keep your eyes on your PM boxes. 😃

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent

    Definitely keep the term brain washing. I am using it in the coda.

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff

    Ok guys, I've compiled the whole thing (or at least I hope so). Please check your PMs.

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent

    Here's the coda. It definitely falls into the serious but skewed category.

    ****************************************************************************

    A former mercenary who holds the informal rank of Colonel is escorted into a library at Westminster.

    Already seated, enjoying a glass of wine is William Cecil, 1st Baron Burghley, Lord High Treasurer and Chief Advisor to Queen Elizabeth. Standing near him is his son Robert Cecil, 1st Earl of Salisbury.

    The Colonel acknowledges both men and refrains from staring at the Earl of Salisbury’s hunchback.

    Baron Burghley: Colonel, you’ve been instrumental in rebuilding our network of spies since the passing of Sir Francis Walsingham. That’s why I’ve summoned you to assist with the removal of a growing problem, the poet Christopher Marlowe.

    The Colonel: What has he done this time, My Lord?

    Baron Burghley: You’ve just come from The Ipcress Folio as instructed? (The Colonel nods, slightly bewildered at the seeming change of subject.) Good. What you are about to hear will not ever be repeated outside this room, understood?

    The Colonel: Yes, My Lord.

    Baron Burghley: What if I were to tell you the “brain washing” project, to use the rather colourful term from the playe, actually existed? Various men were conditioned, some to reveal deep buried secrets of the enemy and some to commit murder, all with having no memory of doing so.

    Earl of Salisbury: The alchemist who invented this mental conditioning betrayed Her Majesty and used one of the conditioning subjects, a constable and tailor by trade named Spicer, to murder Sir Francis with a rare poison.

    The Colonel: I’m speechless. I was of the knowledge that Sir Francis died of cancer of the scrotum.

    Earl of Salisbury: A convenient fiction. He had been in ill health for several years.

    The Colonel: This man Spicer was tortured and eliminated, of course?

    Baron Burghley: No. He has no memory of his deeds. We deemed it best to monitor his actions and observe the long term effects of the mental conditioning as well as seeing whether the alchemist traitor tried to contact him again. Spicer has lead an exemplary life the last three years. There’s talk he may run for Parliament one day.

    The Colonel: I can see why the conceit of the playe is disturbing, but why do you think it is connected to actual events?

    Earl of Salisbury: Let’s begin with Constable Spicer. S-P-I-C-E-R. Rearrange the letters of his name and you get I-P-C-R-E-S.

    The Colonel: And Marlowe? The Ipcress Folio had no authorial attribution on the handbills. I’m familiar with his past work and this play was nothing like it. No bank verse and no massacres.

    Baron Burghley: Marlowe was attempting to conceal his authorship through everyday speech. The French call it Théâtre de Vérité. It will never catch on. As for the tone of the playe did you not see his last work, Maiden Holiday?

    The Colonel: (wistfully) Ahh, Maiden Holiday.

    Earl of Salisbury: Yes, it was a performance that made me greatly wish the female roles were played by actual women.

    They all chuckle knowingly.

    Earl of Salisbury: (Once again serious) We’ve seen the ledger of the theater company. Marlowe was most certainly the author.

    The Colonel: But if I may ask, what in the play was so damning to Marlowe? Why could not the title of the playe be seeing a connection that is not actually there and the use of mental conditioning as a plot be a mere coincidence? Before this meeting I would consider the play a harmless, fantastical farce.

    Baron Burghley: The Parrot.

    The Colonel: My Lord?

    Baron Burghley: The parrot is named Ipcress, or Spicer. What colour was the parrot, Colonel?

    The Colonel: Blue and gold.

    Baron Burghley: The same colours as Spicer’s constable uniform. I see you are not yet convinced. Inventing patterns and all. What did the parrot say?

    The Colonel: Say? Um...Polly wants a cracker? Give us a kiss?

    Baron Burghley: What else?

    The Colonel: Hmmm...Attack Saint Cyril?

    Baron Burghley: It was “ATAC to St Cyril’s.” The programme in question was named Assassination Though Alchemical Conditioning. ATAC. It was run by a Scottish alchemist from St Andrew named Cyril.

    The Colonel: I see. The playe is a cypher, telling the people of ATAC and the betrayals within the government.

    Earl of Salisbury: This information must remain under cloak. Marlowe’s knowledge is very dangerous, indeed. There must be other clues in the playe we have yet to decode.

    The Colonel: Could this Constable Spicer be used to deal with Marlowe? A poetic retribution?

    Earl of Salisbury: No. The conditioning triggers wear off over time and Cyril destroyed the notes on his method before he disappeared.

    The Colonel: Like the missing alchemists in the play.

    Earl of Salisbury: Yes. Like the missing alchemists.

    Baron Burghley: We considered having Marlowe arrested on the charges of Atheism and Sodomy. In Marlowe’s case it happens to be true. However, Her Majesty’s Government has been aware of his proclivities since he was at Cambridge. If it becomes public at trial we turned a blind eye to these crimes for all these years, or that Marlowe was a spy under Sir Francis….

    The Colonel: I see. There must be no arrest and no trial. I’m certain I can arrange a fatal tavern fight or street robbery.

    Baron Burghley: Excellent. Furthermore, collect and burn all copies of The Ipcress Folio. It is too dangerous to be public, especially once Marlowe is dealt with. After those deeds are done you will lead a renewed effort to locate and capture the alchemist Cyril.

    The Colonel: Yes M’Lord.

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff

    Wow, that's a very serious coda. And you've clearly put a lot of thought into it.

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent

    If you ever want me to send you a footnoted version...

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff

    I'll take your word for it all, thanks.

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent

    😂😂😂😂😂

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent

    I don't know about serious, but very, very dark humor. Marlowe is set to be killed because of the parrot. Thanks to cp and Monty Python for that bit.

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent

    In the Briefing Scene Grantby is Budgerigar and the Valet is Parakeet. So to in the exchange scene in the Earl Scheib lot. This is reversed in the library scene. (Mea culpa) Is Grantby in the Bandstand scene? Parakeet does all the talking. Is he Grantby or the Valet. I think Grantby should be identified as such in the script while the unnamed Valet can be IDed with the code moniker.

    Did I miss the part where Dalby "figured out" Grantby would be at the concert due to the folded up handbill Grantby wrote on in the library scene. Yes Dalby really could have contacted his ally at any time, but the agents under him don't know that. In the film the folded flyer gave a reason to wait at the bandstand. I made sure to include the folded bit of paper in the library scene.

    So after the library scene we get the debriefing and maybe an exchange like this:

    Harry: Give me the paper, Palmer.

    Harry hands the folded paper given to him by Grantby to Dalby.

    Did you ever think to unfold the paper and look at the other side of it, Palmer?

    Palmer: (sheepishly.) No.

    Dalby: It's a handbill for a concert at the Band Shell this Sunday. Obviously this is the real meeting place, not The Mermaid Tavern. You're a poor excuse for a spy Palmer.

    Parmer: If ye say so, Sir.

    Scene 10: The Farmers Market can be called Borough Market. It existed back then close to the sites of the Rose and Globe Theatres.

    Scene 12: The images are not displaying.

    **********************************************************************************

    If you find my coda too dark I will move it over to Imaginary Conversations as a bit of Apocrypha.

  • caractacus pottscaractacus potts Orbital communicator, level 10Posts: 3,949MI6 Agent

    well I asked for history lessons and I certainly got one!

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff

    You didn't miss that part cos it's not there! Now that you've written it, I'll slot it in later.

    I'll go back through chasing parakeets and budgerigars

    And hunt for images.

    Not right now, though!

  • caractacus pottscaractacus potts Orbital communicator, level 10Posts: 3,949MI6 Agent

    yeh in the Library scene i just noticed westward used real names not Parakeet and Budgie, that should be made consistent one way or the other.

    I have Parakeet as leader of the heavies in the bandshell, bragging to his minions he beat up Palmer. I'd forgot, it was his henchman who got in the fight on the steps not him. doesnt matter, not worth changing. He's the boss, he can brag even if he didnt do the actual fisticuffs per se. I just like the idea his minions call him "Big man at the library" which fits the teenage dialog patterns theyre about to fall into.

    as I say before, I dont actually care about the plot and am not worried if it doesnt all join up or contradicts. I'm more concerned the jokes are set up properly.

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff

    I've tried to keep Budgerigar as the leader and Parakeet as the heavy- please tell me if I've got that wrong anywhere. Budgerigar is sometimes called Grantby, his real name, but we're told that in the briefing scene so it should be ok.

    This is a spin on the names "Jay" and "Housemartin" in the original.

    In my first assembly I missed out the exchange scene (Scene 11) entirely! It's in now.

    We've not been too consistent with what to call our hero, or should I say our 'ero. Mostly he's Palmer, but sometimes he's Harry and sometimes he's 'arry. I didn't see any point in making them all the same- we all know who he is.

    We're also not consistent with "brainwashing" and synonyms. I'll get to that when I've recovered from the assembly!

    Also Westward has correctly pointed out that we need a brief scene after the library where 'arry, nursing his sore balls, reports back to Dalby who tells him to look at the other side of the paper Grantby gave him. Again, I'll get to that.

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff

    We have to add a couple of lines about Harry having sore balls after his fight outside the library to Westward's draft, below-

    Dalby: Give me the paper, Palmer.

    (Harry hands the folded paper given to him by Grantby to Dalby.)

    Dalby: Did you ever think to unfold the paper and look at the other side of it, Palmer?

    Palmer: (Sheepishly.) No.

    Dalby: It's a handbill for a concert at the Band Shell this Sunday. Obviously, this is the real meeting place, not The Mermaid Tavern. You're a poor excuse for a spy Palmer.

    Palmer: If ye say so, Sir.

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff
    edited March 2022

    Is this okay? As usual, please feel free to change it.


    Dalby's office. Palmer walks in like a knight after riding at a gallop in full armour, the saddle firmly ensconced up his arse and nether regions.

    Dalby: Oh sit down, Palmer.

    Palmer: (Gratefully.) Thank you, sir.

    (Harry sits down very carefully.)

    Dalby: I have read thine report. Grantby gave you a note, which led you to a false rendezvous, then you got into a fight with his valet.

    Palmer: Aye, sir.

    Dalby: That wast most stupid of thee, Palmer. Thou art not Sir James Bond, thou knowest.

    Palmer: Aye, sir. He gets much better paid than I do.

    Dalby: Enough. Give me ye paper, Palmer.

    (Harry hands ye folded paper given to him by Grantby to Dalby.)

    Dalby: Did you ever think to unfold ye paper and look at ye other side of it, Palmer?

    Palmer: (Sheepishly.) No.

    Dalby: 'Tis a handbill for a concert at ye Band Shell this Sunday. Obviously, this is ye real meeting place, not The Mermaid Tavern. You're a poor excuse for a spy Palmer.

    Palmer: If ye say so, Sir.

    Dalby: Meet me at ye Band Shell on Sunday.

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent
    edited March 2022

    Instead of this

    Dalby's office. Palmer walks in, like John Wayne would walk if he had been alive in these times.

    How 'bout:

    Dalby's office. Palmer walks in like a knight after riding at a gallop in full armour, the saddle firmly ensconced up his arse and nether regions.

    Also, change the last line to "Meet me at ye Band Shell on Sunday," unless they are to wait there for 24 hours.

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff
    edited March 2022

    😂😂😂 and I've edited the above to include that!

    Edit- and it's in!

  • BarbelBarbel ScotlandPosts: 36,358Chief of Staff

    Well, here's the finished version- hope you enjoy it!


    https://www.ajb007.co.uk/discussion/comment/1041643#Comment_1041643

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent

    I think that worked it all out of my system...well maybe The Prisoner in a few months. However, we'd have to get @Gymkata to join us.

    I have a number of screen shots of Patrick McGoohan and (a blonde) Timothy Dalton from Mary Queen of Scots.

  • caractacus pottscaractacus potts Orbital communicator, level 10Posts: 3,949MI6 Agent

    hey @Westward_Drift I got a question for you

    how did they do lighting in these Elizabethan theatres?

    I realise I wrote in a few lighting effects that couldnt possibly have been a thing, and after a while resisted the urge to have a single spot on centre stage. but what did they do in an indoor theatre in 1590, candle light?

  • caractacus pottscaractacus potts Orbital communicator, level 10Posts: 3,949MI6 Agent

    by the way if people want to brush up on The Prisoner, its all 17 episodes have been uploaded to archive.org as well as being officially available on the Shout Factory TV website

    supposedly McGoohan felt there were only seven essential episodes, but never actually told anyone what those seven were. this discussion page offers a few rival lists. just in case someone's never seen the show and just wants to watch a few to get the gist.

    The show is well worth watching even if you dont plan to collaborate, but maybe theyll inspire you! If I were to participate, I envision something structured like Groundhog Day, with a series of quick episodic vignettes, some loosely inspired by actual episodes, some all new. I would not be interested in closely mapping the plot of a specific episode

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent
    edited March 2022

    You've got it. Indoor theatres were lit with candles, torches, and oil lamps. I hate to think about the smoke or all that open flame.

    I think I'd prefer the outdoor setting of the Globe and Rose theatres where plays are performed during the day. I still recall a matinee of Hamlet during a season of Shakespeare Santa Cruz that was performed outdoor in the glen. The actor playing Hamlet was walking through the audience during the most famous soliloquy. He was looking straight at me from 5 feet away while saying "To be or not to be."

    The show is well worth watching even if you dont plan to collaborate, but maybe theyll inspire you! If I were to participate, I envision something structured like Groundhog Day, with a series of quick episodic vignettes, some loosely inspired by actual episodes, some all new. I would not be interested in closely mapping the plot of a specific episode

    I like this idea. It allows each author's writing style to come through. A couple vignette's per act.

    Somewhere I have the 2 volume set of Prisoner annotated scripts by Robert Fairclough.


  • caractacus pottscaractacus potts Orbital communicator, level 10Posts: 3,949MI6 Agent

    are you saying the Rose and the Globe were outdoors? I'd never imagined that!

    we sometimes have Shakespeare In The Park. If these were originally performed outdoors thats therefor be ore authentic.

  • Westward_DriftWestward_Drift Posts: 3,091MI6 Agent

    Yes. There was no roof over the middle of the theater. Seeing the plays in sunlight is more authentic, for sure.

    There were indoor theaters around that time, maybe a little later, in London. The Blackfriar for one.

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