More evidence that something is afoot... 'But why not stay gone? You had the perfect opportunity...'
You're still here, but many of the above names have checked out.
That's the irony, yes. Members of forums seem to come and go as the whim, or more accurately, life takes them. I was away for a good few years myself. It's always good to see @Napoleon Plural contribute though as he seems to be one of the select few members still active who joined AJB before me! 🙂
And where on earth did I go in 2014 ?
Classified.... ? Unlikely... but, you know, I like to come and go as I please...
Section 26, paragraph 5. Need-to-know. We understand. 😆
What were the Rolling Stones doing in 2014?
My writing was a bit tighter back then. Poignant to read my posts about my now late mother. But what happened after that - well, that really is a story.
Yes, I'm sure that is poignant for you. All I can say is you were a wonderful son to your mother and your interventions on her behalf certainly helped her to live longer and have a better quality of life while doing so. I don't think a parent could ask for more than that and you are a credit to her.
Ah, well, I wouldn't go that far! 😁
But thanks for your kind words. I will now offer the tip to readers I make at every given opportunity - ffs get your parents to grant you Lasting Power of Attorney in Health and Welfare - and Finance too - while they still can. Otherwise, at a later date you will no longer be the decision maker for their care. The State will be, even if you are self-funding - and the State profits from your parent's death, saving money in pensions and prescriptions. You? You will not even be able to read their medical notes. Anyone else can - some nurse in the care home who'd known her a day and only worked their a week - but not you. They could have your parent under the chemical cosh, they wouldn't have to tell you.
I became aware that care homes can kill off residents via covert end-of-life care. This is mainly done via dehydration. It's similar to the now illegal Liverpool Care Pathway, the difference being is it's arguably worse because if they estimate your parent has only three months to live, it can be 'hurried along'. Often fast-track NHS Continuing Healthcare - which encompasses free nursing care in a care home - is used to utilise this, it's the sweetner for many families.
My sister and I took it and continued to enter the care home to give mum drink, not realising we'd be treated as scabs crossing the picket line. Surrey Social Services got involved to build a case against us and have us barred from the care home - presumably so the job could be finished. We outwitted them without quite realising they were behind it all or what was going on - we just thought the care home had gone mad
It wasn't all like this but the stuff you find out - you can't unlearn it. But once they learn you don't have LPA in Health and Welfare, well, they can have a laugh and toy with you. So download the forms from the Gov website, print them out, get the signatures in right order and witnessed and send it off with a cheque for about £80 or so. It also applies to spouses, it's not an age thing. TV presenter Kate Garraway struggled with her husband having long Covid because he hadn't granted her LPA. You can't get it retrospectively once your relative is in a coma or deemed to have 'lost mental capacity' - a very vague area to define. It doesn't have to mean they're completely ga-ga.
Ah well, here endeth the lesson!
I'm sorry to hear about your mother, NP. I'm sorry you lost her and the end of her life was so difficult.
Yes, I was going to say about the Lasting Power of Attorney and how you raised it in a thread here and what goes on in hospitals and care homes. My own mother is elderly and showing some signs of possible dementia or Alzheimers so these are things I have to think about too.
I suppose the policy of keeping elderly Covid-19 patients in care homes and nursing homes rather than in hospitals has put this issue at the top of the agenda again. It did seem that during the height of the pandemic the protection of the NHS was paramount and if that meant sending frail and elderly patients home to die in care homes or nursing homes, so be it. There was surely a more humane way of dealing with people by treating them in a hospital setting but the sad reality is that the state doesn't really seem to value the elderly and (off the record of course) mostly sees them as a financial and resource burden. This is all the while conveniently forgetting that they contributed taxes to the NHS and social care for all of their working lives and deserve to be treated with the same dignity, respect, care and humanity as any other patient.
Thanks everyone - it's good to take a level headed approach to this, I'm afraid I can't based on what I learned. It's bad. As for LPA in Health and Welfare, it's not a case of waiting til you need it, as then it's too late. I mean, you can grant it to your wife or what have you - don't see it as some kind of thing to be done by a deadline, or even age- or decline-related, that said it's the easiest thing to put off. It's the classic thing of get ahead while you can. Leave it to when there's some signs of decline and that could be the time when a parent may dig their heels in and refuse to grant it.
I think the Covid deaths in care homes were deliberate at some level but so many are culpable that nobody will be held to account. I don't recall any Safeguardin heads or NHS Chief Executive protesting or throwing their toys out of the pram over it. It reminds me of the prescient drama Years and Years which has never been re-shown at the BBC, where they allow a disease into the refugee camps to kill them off.
Things could have been worse for Mum generally and we gave her every chance. The chilling realisation that the State had it in for her and others of her ilk, and were targeting me as well after I took her case to the local press, well, it does sort of sour things a bit. The wrongdoers are all still in their posts. The regulators - the CQC and NMC - are corrupt. Your MP is unlikely to be any help - mine, Chris Grayling, certainly wasn't. Naturally however I say this to tip others off to give them a heads up.
Back on topic, I may disappear again! I rather envy @Lady Rose and @Thunderpussy maintaining their air of mystery.
Don't disappear! Who's going to take the proverbial out of my Elvis reviews ???
Yes, don't disapear. Not being active on AJB isn't very mysterious to be honest. There are billions of people who aren't.