The Queen: I hope we shall see you playing James Bond for many years to come.
Sean: Ha! That will be fuc-
The Duke: Bet you enjoyed being in Japan, beating up all the bloody for-
Shady Tree wrote:
These are hilarious.
My favourite is the Christopher Lee/ Peter Cushing one, despite its mixed up timelines! But for sassiness it doesn't beat this 1974 real-life quotation of Lee about the Dracula role: "I will NOT play that character anymore. I no longer WISH to do it, I no longer HAVE to do it and I no longer INTEND to do it. It is now part of my professional past, just one of the roles I have played in a total of 124 films!"
2015. (Eon HQ. Script conference.)
Wade: ...so we thought that this time we could make it personal for Bond…
Purvis: ...but we’ve already used the “wife” figure in Vesper…
Wade: ...and the “mother” figure” in M…
Purvis: ...so we decided that this time we’d go for the “brother” angle.
BB: The “brother” angle?
Wade: Yeah, and since you’ve now got the rights to use Blofeld we thought it would be a great original angle to make him Bond’s brother!
MGW: ...er, Bond’s brother?
Purvis: Well, foster brother. Bond knows Blofeld from way back, when they were boys, rather than just meeting him now.
Wade: And we can work in some real Fleming- Hannes Oberhauser, from “Octopussy”, was a father figure to Bond so we create his son who turns out to be Blofeld!
Mendes: I’m not so sure about this…
Purvis: It’ll be great- before Oberhauser reveals that he’s Blofeld he can say “We’re not so different, you and I, Mr Bond”…
Wade: ...and then reveal that they’re (foster) brothers!
BB: Foster brothers…
MGW: Oberhauser is Blofeld…
Mendes: (Sarcastically.) And I suppose you’d want Michael Caine to play their father?
Purvis/Wade: (Together.) Great idea!
Mendes: Call him, oh, Nigel perhaps....?
Mendes: Boys... Neal, Robert... I don’t suppose you’ve heard of the Austin Powers movies?
Wade: Austin Powers?
Purvis: No, we’ve been too busy creating “Johnny English”.
MGW: Well, I don’t know…
BB: I suppose there are some people who wouldn’t connect the ideas…
Purvis: And Blofeld can say that his cat is called Mr Bigglesworth!
Wade: And have a clone, one eighth of his size!
Mendes: No, I think that’s going too far.
BB: (Whispering.) What do you think, Mike?
MGW: (Whispering.) I don’t know…