I was planning on slowing this thing down significantly at this point (and I will say that right now I'm just working about the content and will have to provide the transitional filler later)
The suggestions are making for good guidelines though
One suggestion I have is that we not treat Bond's physicality too lightly. We beat him up pretty good in these opening scenes. I think we should keep that in mind and not have him strolling around MI6 as if nothing happened.
We should also keep in mind that MI6 may doing a bit of 'housework' since they discovered they had a double agent in their midst.
Entry's in. I know it skips around a bit and is more dialogue than description, but I did want to get the "whole gang" together and offically slow things down and change pace and scenario of the novel.
I also had Bond run into a few other 00s, potential plot development seeds, or just some more color to give the illusion of a bigger picture. I decided to include one of the 00s who appeared in the previous novel as an easter egg.
Its not my turn yet but Im just wondering if I could write a sequence where we see Mister X doing business. I have some ideas which will flesh out his character and motivations and show his point of view. I would even like to have a scene where he stops a terrorist organisation because its activities threaten his own organisation's money-making activities. Mister X likes the world the way it is because he can feed off it like a parasite. he doesnt want to end the world or change things - hes quite happy manipulating the system and life is good!
My idea is that he has at various times in the past stolen really high level corporate secrets. I'm talking about the recipes for Coca Cola and Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Apple Mac operating system code etc. He blackmails these organisations to keep their secrets being disseminated to their competitiors. He has used advanced identity theft technology etc to infiltrate and steal these and other priceless patents.
Its not my turn yet but Im just wondering if I could write a sequence where we see Mister X doing business. I have some ideas which will flesh out his character and motivations and show his point of view. I would even like to have a scene where he stops a terrorist organisation because its activities threaten his own organisation's money-making activities. Mister X likes the world the way it is because he can feed off it like a parasite. he doesnt want to end the world or change things - hes quite happy manipulating the system and life is good!
My idea is that he has at various times in the past stolen really high level corporate secrets. I'm talking about the recipes for Coca Cola and Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Apple Mac operating system code etc. He blackmails these organisations to keep their secrets being disseminated to their competitiors. He has used advanced identity theft technology etc to infiltrate and steal these and other priceless patents.
Entry's in. I know it skips around a bit and is more dialogue than description, but I did want to get the "whole gang" together and offically slow things down and change pace and scenario of the novel.
I also had Bond run into a few other 00s, potential plot development seeds, or just some more color to give the illusion of a bigger picture. I decided to include one of the 00s who appeared in the previous novel as an easter egg.
nice job DAWUSS! You've put together some real fun dialogue which helps the transition of the story out a lot. We were due for some levity!
Hopefully I'll have my part posted sometime tomorrow.
Okay, the next bit is in. It's a chunk of exposition mainly trying to clear up some questions and give Bond a solid lead in Delhi. Maybe some of it can be whittled down in the final edit.
One note...a little curveball I anticipate for Bond is that their 'man in Station I' is actually a woman :007)
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
Ok -I'm liking how its going. I've got a few ideas of where to take it -but I'm not actually going to be able to post my contribution until Tuesday morning as that is my day off work and tomorrow I'm a little bit busy with some other stuff. I will make the contact a female -and I have an idea that may also be pretty good that will involve a temple. So until Tuesday ...
BTW - I went back and fixed a few typos that you guys most likely noticed. My apologies ;%
scaramanga1The English RivieraPosts: 845Chief of Staff
Ok -sorry it took me so long -got held up looking after my little boy -had to take him to the doctors this morning -he's had an allergic reaction to something. Anyhow -my bit is in. I've set it up so 007 can visit the VoxBrahma Call centre and then after that actually go and visit the Brahma temple in Rajasthan at Pushkar in Ajmer.
I've made the managing director of of Vox Brahma an Australian (I don't know why.) Anyway the actual owner of the company is an Indian (or is he?) and lives in a palatial residence near Pushkar (possibly one of Mr x's lairs?)
Daya I think will be a good love interest for Bond -as she is both beautiful and intelligent -but how much she gets involved is upto you guys.
Anyway I hope you like the direction I have taken it.
This is great! I'm really enjoying seeing this story come together.
Daya should prove to be an interesting addition to the story. And it may be interesting to see her and Lissa cross paths (of course we will need to find a way to keep Lissa involved).
I was reading a news article today about a man in India who threw his daughter in the river because he couldn't afford her kidney operation. The girl was rescued by a fisherman. It reminded me how many infant girls are lost in India because some traditional fathers would prefer having a son. Perhaps we can give Daya a past where she was thrown into a river as a young girl, and narrowly escaped getting caught up in the slave trade herself.
I don't however see her as a product of mistreatment, but more a woman with a benevolent attitude as a result of the kind treatment she received when she was 'rescued'.
This is my plan but Id like some feedback before i go ahead with it.
Mister X wants to get rid of some terrorists/competitors who are threatening his operations. Having used Carter as a supplier of information his final use for him was to expose him anonymously so that MI6 would send someone to kill him - eg Bond. Mister X wants to use Bond to get rid of the terrorists/competitors for him. Mister X knew that Bond would find the flight plan on Magnus which would point to Delhi. Now Mister X has succeeded in getting Bond to come to Delhi he can lead him to the terrorists/competitors whom Bond will conventiently wipe out for him.
Mister X is a superb chess player and collects chess sets. Chess originated in India in 600AD or possibly earlier. Mister X has a room full of ancient and traditional chess sets from China, Japan, India, Persia and Spain.
He is used to playing off agents and governments to advance his plans which are aimed at making money and increasing his influence throughout the world.
This is my plan but Id like some feedback before i go ahead with it.
Mister X wants to get rid of some terrorists/competitors who are threatening his operations. Having used Carter as a supplier of information his final use for him was to expose him anonymously so that MI6 would send someone to kill him - eg Bond. Mister X wants to use Bond to get rid of the terrorists/competitors for him. Mister X knew that Bond would find the flight plan on Magnus which would point to Delhi. Now Mister X has succeeded in getting Bond to come to Delhi he can lead him to the terrorists/competitors whom Bond will conventiently wipe out for him.
Mister X is a superb chess player and collects chess sets. Chess originated in India in 600AD or possibly earlier. Mister X has a room full of ancient and traditional chess sets from China, Japan, India, Persia and Spain.
He is used to playing off agents and governments to advance his plans which are aimed at making money and increasing his influence throughout the world.
The reason for the above is that Im thinking of introducing the villain and showing what he's up to. As we've already split the narrative by showing Baba Yaga after the car chase I think we can do it again. The alternative is to keep the reader looking over Bond's shoulder only seeing what he sees etc.
The chess idea is nice, delicious, and I like the idea of X trying to eliminate competition, but I have hard time seeing X purposefully letting MI6 become aware of his activities in order to rub out rivals. This is a guy who survives on anonymity. Letting MI6 on that he even exists jeopardizes his entire operation.
I think it would come across as too far-fetched that X's plan was to have Carter revealed, hoping MI6 assassinates him in Finland, hoping that Carter (who wouldn't be aware of X's plot) reveal X and Baba Yaga's existence, and that resultantly Bond would stumble onto the plane and it's flightpan (remember the flightplan would be in Magnus' pocket, which meant it was primarily luck that Bond overpowered him and got the info). There are too many areas where, if this was a plan, for it to go astray.
Perhaps, since X is a master chess strategist, and he realizes the MI6 is on to him now, he seeds some disinformation that sends Bond after X's rivals...which of course would utterly make things confusing for Bond.
I really think you're idea of involving rivals is an excellent one. Since X really has no 'army' for Bond to fight, sending Bond into conflict with others can really keep the action going.
The chess idea is nice, delicious, and I like the idea of X trying to eliminate competition, but I have hard time seeing X purposefully letting MI6 become aware of his activities in order to rub out rivals. This is a guy who survives on anonymity. Letting MI6 on that he even exists jeopardizes his entire operation.
I think it would come across as too far-fetched that X's plan was to have Carter revealed, hoping MI6 assassinates him in Finland, hoping that Carter (who wouldn't be aware of X's plot) reveal X and Baba Yaga's existence, and that resultantly Bond would stumble onto the plane and it's flightpan (remember the flightplan would be in Magnus' pocket, which meant it was primarily luck that Bond overpowered him and got the info). There are too many areas where, if this was a plan, for it to go astray.
Perhaps, since X is a master chess strategist, and he realizes the MI6 is on to him now, he seeds some disinformation that sends Bond after X's rivals...which of course would utterly make things confusing for Bond.
I really think you're idea of involving rivals is an excellent one. Since X really has no 'army' for Bond to fight, sending Bond into conflict with others can really keep the action going.
Great feedback darenhat. I will proceed with your suggestion.
I will be on holiday starting next Thursday, July 19, and will most likely not be able to check in for the week or so that I'm gone. I mention this because it's most likely that my next 'turn' to contribute will come up while I'm away.
I suppose you guys can skip me this time around, or wait - but I don't want to slow the process. I can also switch positions with one of the upcoming contributors on this round, and then resume the usual order for the next round (if there's anyone willing to swap)
I've posted the first part of my next bit which introduces Mister X aka Max Obsidian the villain. I will write a bit more where he gets a report from a henchman called Cobra about the events in Finland and Bond's arrival in Delhi.
Nicely done, delicious! I really enjoyed the atmosphere of your entry! You've done an excellent job setting up X as a 'tortured' individual capable of anything.
I will be on holiday starting next Thursday, July 19, and will most likely not be able to check in for the week or so that I'm gone. I mention this because it's most likely that my next 'turn' to contribute will come up while I'm away.
I suppose you guys can skip me this time around, or wait - but I don't want to slow the process. I can also switch positions with one of the upcoming contributors on this round, and then resume the usual order for the next round (if there's anyone willing to swap)
Let me know what you guys would like me to do
If you'd like, I wouldn't mind taking your turn for you if you won't get back in time. Alternatively, we could just wait for you to return. Your last entry was great--you definitely wrote the debriefing section in true Bond fashion! Perhaps we could wait if the story needs to go in such a direction again. How would you like to do it?
I really like where the story has gone, though. I would very much like to see Mr. X as being a chess fanatic. During the first, or perhaps the final meeting between Bond and X, we could see X sitting at a chess table by himself, or perhaps at a computer-opponent chess system. Perhaps hinting at his mental side, he might even consider the chess pieces as living beings. Here's a bit of a line I just came up with.
"My life is like a game of chess, Mr. Bond... In fact the whole world is like a game of chess. Secrets must be kept from... Certain figures so that your strategy might ultimately work toward your success. If we told our knight here [moves a knight piece] that we were sending him to his death to lure in the king [computer uses king to take knight], he's wouldn't be so enthusiastic about fighting, now would he?... [X moves a piece to check-mate the king]. You, Mr. Bond, have forced me to change my strategy significantly..."
Obviously, we don't have to use it, it's just an insight into how it could turn out.
Sokay Ive changed from chess to masks and mirrors to stay on our main theme about identity. I thought of kronsteen too and it really is getting harder to find original ideas for Bond stories as that vein has already been mined so much.
If you'd like, I wouldn't mind taking your turn for you if you won't get back in time. Alternatively, we could just wait for you to return. Your last entry was great--you definitely wrote the debriefing section in true Bond fashion! Perhaps we could wait if the story needs to go in such a direction again. How would you like to do it?
Thanks for the offer, Sly. I should be back on Sunday the 29th, but I would need time to catch up on the story and then some time to write my contribution. If for some reason, my slot in the rotation hasn't come up by that date, then there will be no problem (however I see that as highly unlikely!)
We can skip my turn entirely if it looks like there might be too long of a wait...or if everyone is in agreement, I have no problem with letting Sly Fox write for me when my slot comes up.
You guys can make a decision after DAWUSS contributes his part of the story.
I have established the character of Max Obsidian, his man servant Afrit and a mercenary called Cobra who he will use to set Bond up and get Baker out of the way.
I have made Cobra Daya's estranged brother, a lever which Max uses to keep Cobra from betraying him.
Very nice entry, delicious! We now see Max as a cold, uncaring man with no regard for his minions...
Here is what I would suggest for a future entry: Don't let Cobra die at Bond's hands. Instead, let him team up with Daya and Bond to see to Obsidian's demise. Perhaps Cobra can see Daya with Bond, they can reconcile with Cobra joining the team to help Bond. However it's done, I really don't want to see Cobra--or Daya--get killed. I can only imagine the heartbreak the other sibling would feel...
Forgive me if I get a bit sentimental about this story.
Here is what I would suggest for a future entry: Don't let Cobra die at Bond's hands. Instead, let him team up with Daya and Bond to see to Obsidian's demise. Perhaps Cobra can see Daya with Bond, they can reconcile with Cobra joining the team to help Bond. However it's done, I really don't want to see Cobra--or Daya--get killed. I can only imagine the heartbreak the other sibling would feel...
I think this is a great idea, Sly. In a sense, this also allows the novel to be not just Bond's story, but Daya's and Cobra's as well.
and kudos to you, delicious. Another excellent entry! I'm looking forward to Golrush's contribution...
Comments
The suggestions are making for good guidelines though
We should also keep in mind that MI6 may doing a bit of 'housework' since they discovered they had a double agent in their midst.
I also had Bond run into a few other 00s, potential plot development seeds, or just some more color to give the illusion of a bigger picture. I decided to include one of the 00s who appeared in the previous novel as an easter egg.
My idea is that he has at various times in the past stolen really high level corporate secrets. I'm talking about the recipes for Coca Cola and Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Apple Mac operating system code etc. He blackmails these organisations to keep their secrets being disseminated to their competitiors. He has used advanced identity theft technology etc to infiltrate and steal these and other priceless patents.
nice job DAWUSS! You've put together some real fun dialogue which helps the transition of the story out a lot. We were due for some levity!
Hopefully I'll have my part posted sometime tomorrow.
One note...a little curveball I anticipate for Bond is that their 'man in Station I' is actually a woman :007)
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/26/AR2005122600852.html
http://www.alternet.org/rights/48951/
BTW - I went back and fixed a few typos that you guys most likely noticed. My apologies ;%
http://www.indiasite.com/rajasthan/pushkar/bramhatemplecomplex.html
I've made the managing director of of Vox Brahma an Australian (I don't know why.) Anyway the actual owner of the company is an Indian (or is he?) and lives in a palatial residence near Pushkar (possibly one of Mr x's lairs?)
Daya I think will be a good love interest for Bond -as she is both beautiful and intelligent -but how much she gets involved is upto you guys.
Anyway I hope you like the direction I have taken it.
Daya should prove to be an interesting addition to the story. And it may be interesting to see her and Lissa cross paths (of course we will need to find a way to keep Lissa involved).
I was reading a news article today about a man in India who threw his daughter in the river because he couldn't afford her kidney operation. The girl was rescued by a fisherman. It reminded me how many infant girls are lost in India because some traditional fathers would prefer having a son. Perhaps we can give Daya a past where she was thrown into a river as a young girl, and narrowly escaped getting caught up in the slave trade herself.
I don't however see her as a product of mistreatment, but more a woman with a benevolent attitude as a result of the kind treatment she received when she was 'rescued'.
...just a thought
Mister X wants to get rid of some terrorists/competitors who are threatening his operations. Having used Carter as a supplier of information his final use for him was to expose him anonymously so that MI6 would send someone to kill him - eg Bond. Mister X wants to use Bond to get rid of the terrorists/competitors for him. Mister X knew that Bond would find the flight plan on Magnus which would point to Delhi. Now Mister X has succeeded in getting Bond to come to Delhi he can lead him to the terrorists/competitors whom Bond will conventiently wipe out for him.
Mister X is a superb chess player and collects chess sets. Chess originated in India in 600AD or possibly earlier. Mister X has a room full of ancient and traditional chess sets from China, Japan, India, Persia and Spain.
He is used to playing off agents and governments to advance his plans which are aimed at making money and increasing his influence throughout the world.
The reason for the above is that Im thinking of introducing the villain and showing what he's up to. As we've already split the narrative by showing Baba Yaga after the car chase I think we can do it again. The alternative is to keep the reader looking over Bond's shoulder only seeing what he sees etc.
I think it would come across as too far-fetched that X's plan was to have Carter revealed, hoping MI6 assassinates him in Finland, hoping that Carter (who wouldn't be aware of X's plot) reveal X and Baba Yaga's existence, and that resultantly Bond would stumble onto the plane and it's flightpan (remember the flightplan would be in Magnus' pocket, which meant it was primarily luck that Bond overpowered him and got the info). There are too many areas where, if this was a plan, for it to go astray.
Perhaps, since X is a master chess strategist, and he realizes the MI6 is on to him now, he seeds some disinformation that sends Bond after X's rivals...which of course would utterly make things confusing for Bond.
I really think you're idea of involving rivals is an excellent one. Since X really has no 'army' for Bond to fight, sending Bond into conflict with others can really keep the action going.
Great feedback darenhat. I will proceed with your suggestion.
I will be on holiday starting next Thursday, July 19, and will most likely not be able to check in for the week or so that I'm gone. I mention this because it's most likely that my next 'turn' to contribute will come up while I'm away.
I suppose you guys can skip me this time around, or wait - but I don't want to slow the process. I can also switch positions with one of the upcoming contributors on this round, and then resume the usual order for the next round (if there's anyone willing to swap)
Let me know what you guys would like me to do
If you'd like, I wouldn't mind taking your turn for you if you won't get back in time. Alternatively, we could just wait for you to return. Your last entry was great--you definitely wrote the debriefing section in true Bond fashion! Perhaps we could wait if the story needs to go in such a direction again. How would you like to do it?
I really like where the story has gone, though. I would very much like to see Mr. X as being a chess fanatic. During the first, or perhaps the final meeting between Bond and X, we could see X sitting at a chess table by himself, or perhaps at a computer-opponent chess system. Perhaps hinting at his mental side, he might even consider the chess pieces as living beings. Here's a bit of a line I just came up with.
"My life is like a game of chess, Mr. Bond... In fact the whole world is like a game of chess. Secrets must be kept from... Certain figures so that your strategy might ultimately work toward your success. If we told our knight here [moves a knight piece] that we were sending him to his death to lure in the king [computer uses king to take knight], he's wouldn't be so enthusiastic about fighting, now would he?... [X moves a piece to check-mate the king]. You, Mr. Bond, have forced me to change my strategy significantly..."
Obviously, we don't have to use it, it's just an insight into how it could turn out.
And of course, X would be aware that you can't win a game of chess without pawns...
Thanks for the offer, Sly. I should be back on Sunday the 29th, but I would need time to catch up on the story and then some time to write my contribution. If for some reason, my slot in the rotation hasn't come up by that date, then there will be no problem (however I see that as highly unlikely!)
We can skip my turn entirely if it looks like there might be too long of a wait...or if everyone is in agreement, I have no problem with letting Sly Fox write for me when my slot comes up.
You guys can make a decision after DAWUSS contributes his part of the story.
I have established the character of Max Obsidian, his man servant Afrit and a mercenary called Cobra who he will use to set Bond up and get Baker out of the way.
I have made Cobra Daya's estranged brother, a lever which Max uses to keep Cobra from betraying him.
Gee this is fun!
Here is what I would suggest for a future entry: Don't let Cobra die at Bond's hands. Instead, let him team up with Daya and Bond to see to Obsidian's demise. Perhaps Cobra can see Daya with Bond, they can reconcile with Cobra joining the team to help Bond. However it's done, I really don't want to see Cobra--or Daya--get killed. I can only imagine the heartbreak the other sibling would feel...
Forgive me if I get a bit sentimental about this story.
I think this is a great idea, Sly. In a sense, this also allows the novel to be not just Bond's story, but Daya's and Cobra's as well.
and kudos to you, delicious. Another excellent entry! I'm looking forward to Golrush's contribution...